William Shakespeare: one of the greatest dramatists in history. Arguably the most influential writer in the history of the English language. And, let's face it, one heck of an insult comic.
Nobody can really compete with Shakespeare for linguistic creativity - the man invented the words "eyeball", "obscene", and "alligator", among many others - but one of his less-mentioned achievements was the practically endless number of brilliant insults the characters in his plays hurl at one another. If you've ever wished you had a handy tool to create your own Shakespearean insults, you're in luck:
The good people at Tastefully Offensive created this remarkably simple device. Just start with the word "Thou" and follow up with any combination of one word from each of the three columns. Need to insult someone in a way that will be simultaneously memorable, hard-to-understand and completely G-Rated? Look no further.
And unless the person you're insulting has one of these things, they're unlikely to come up with a worthy comeback. After all, very few modern insults can compete with the phrase "Nice pants, thou ruttish unchin-snouted fustilarian!"