Alt News June 4, 2013
This Guy Wrote His Own Obituary, And It's Fantastic


Most obituaries are respectful, sober, and polite. For instance, a professional obituary writer would never refer to the passing of the deceased person as "taking the Deep Six."

And if the person who passed away was a decorated war veteran, no one would accuse him of "avoiding numerous women who were seeking child support under unproven circumstances."

But John E. Holden's obituary does both of those things, and gets away with it - mainly because John (who went by Jack) wrote it himself.

That's the kicker at the end of his obit: "Jack Holden wrote this obituary several years ago."

He also says that he lived a life "filled with endless laughter and debauchery," and that his last words were "I'm really going to miss myself."

The remembrance was published in a local paper in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

Here are the first couple of paragraphs - read the whole thing at Lancaster Online:

"John E. Holden, alias Jack, took the Deep Six, Monday, May 27, 2013 at the Willow Valley Retirement Community after a life filled with endless laughter and debauchery. While flying his beloved Corsair as a Marine Fighter Pilot during WWII, he was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for his combat activities, the Air Medal for action in Okinawa in 1945 and the Distinguished Fleeing Cross for avoiding numerous women who were seeking child support under unproven circumstances.

After WWII he spent eight years with the Armstrong Cork Company and resigned with the title of Assistant Director of Advertising plus a dinky pension. He then joined the Hubley Toy Company and later became an independent toy designer."

And if you'd like to read another exceptional and entertaining obituary, check this out: Harry Weatherby Stamps passed away on March 9, 2013, and his obit in the Mississippi Sun Herald is entertaining, inspiring, and full of delicious food ideas.

Stamp's remembrance paints a picture of a man who was ahead of his time when it came to food, a big fan of 'Law and Order', and staunchly opposed to Daylight Saving Time. It's well worth a read.

Via Newser


RIP Peter Worthington, Canadian Journalist And Founding Editor Of The Toronto Sun

RIP Margaret Groening, The Inspiration For Marge Simpson

We Will Remember Them: In Honour Of Their Sacrifices, We've Put Together A Remembrance Day Playlist



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