This man ripped off his shirt and did a soccer-style celebration after getting a woman's phone number. (Getty Images)

Any self-respecting comic-book fan will remember the semi-regular Marvel series called "What If?"

For those who don't know what it is, this series posed hypothetical questions surrounding characters in the Marvel universe, and came up with stories based around the question - things like, "What if Spider-Man joined the Fantastic Four," or "What if Captain America ran for president?"

The following is a tribute to that series, asking this question:

"What if goal celebrations in soccer were used by people in everyday situations?"

And so it begins...

[The following is an obtained internal company memo]

P, B & J Industries

To all staff:

I am aware that yesterday's

deal was the biggest in our company's history. And for that, I will give you all congratulations.

However, that does NOT mean that we should see sales staff running around the office with their suit jackets used as impromptu capes and dress shirts pulled over their heads, while their arms are spread out in what I'm assuming is an imitation of an airplane.

Running fast without the ability to see is not conducive to safety, as was proven when John went head over feet after getting "tackled," as you all called it for some reason, by the printer/copier.

(Note to John: rolling around on the office floor and feigning injury to your head, when replay of the security tape clearly showed that your head escaped any injury whatsoever, will not get you out of working the weekend)

On that note, celebratory somersaults, be they done on the floor, desk, or nearest elevator, are now strictly forbidden.

And if I see someone do another backflip, and if that backflip happens to accidentally send Suzanne from accounting flying over her desk AGAIN, I will not be pleased.

Signed,

Pete Bo Jangles President

[The following is a story found in a local newspaper]

A young man was detained by police for disorderly conduct and quickly released today after causing a major stir in the downtown core.

Pete Beckerman, 23, stopped traffic on a busy street when he burst out of a local pub with his fists raised in the air and ran down the middle of the road.

An equally excited multitude of people began to line the sidewalks down the street Beckerman was running on, and some waved large flags emblazoned with the word "Pete" accompanied by stylized portraits of Beckerman's visage.

Traffic immediately came to a standstill. Some drivers climbed onto the tops or beds of their vehicles and started dancing and singing, while others honked their horns in celebration and high-fived Beckerman as he strode by.

"This is one of the greatest days of our lives," said a teary-eyed David Martinez, 43. "We've all been waiting for something like this to happen for a long time, and to see it first-hand is truly special."

While being detained by police, who later asked for his autograph, Beckerman could be heard screaming "Gola-gola-gola" over and over, a chant reciprocated by what was now a few thousand-strong crowd.

"I don't know what the big deal was," Haley Valner, 21, said. "All I did was say 'Yes' when he asked me out on a date. Then that happened."

[The following is an intercepted text message conversation]

Person A: my dad is so lame

Person B: Why, what is he doing?

A: hes running around the backyard with his mouth wide open, waving his arms up and down yelling GOAAAAAAALLLLL…anyways I think that's what he's yelling

B: lol, why is he doing that?

A: I told him I was moving out of the house and going to a college out of town. Then he just got up and started doing this.

B: haha maybe he'll stop soon.

A: It's been 30 minutes. oh no, now he's shaking his head from side to side and I think he's crying.

B: Wow….is he, um, sad or something?

A: No I think it's tears of joy.

B: Is he still running?

A: He's still running.

B: Your dad is weird

A: i know. OK gotta go, he just slid across the ground on his stomach and crashed into the tool shed