The World Cup is Christmas for soccer fans. Also for people who like really strange things. Thanks to the internet, we have a reliable catalogue for these. Here are some that we’ve noticed. You should know that we had to cut a lot from this list.
Messi robot may try to murder you
When you think of it at face value, creating a robot of Lionel Messi could be a good thing. The Argentinian superstar is very personable, and reports indicate he is pretty adorable.
But then they decided to ask a crazy person to design the sculpture. The result is what will haunt your dreams tonight.
The good thing is that if Robot Messi tries to replace the real one, we can tell which is which. But that doesn’t mean we can necessarily stop it.
Clint Dempsey: U.S. soccer player, hero, rapper
Clint Dempsey is an American soccer player. What you maybe didn’t know was that he is also a rapper, somehow.
He is also going to release an album. The album, called "The Redux," will drop sometime after the World Cup. His nickname is also “Deuce.” Please put two and two together yourselves because if we do we’ll likely get a call from the CRTC.
If you’re wondering, yes this is the same player who was kicked directly in the face.
So to celebrate these two things, we’ve analyzed what a sample of his rap lyrics would sound like with a broken nose.
I'b straigbght ov that blane
Stubios I bang
G's libe I'b kicking zat ball oub on zat greeb
I neber claibed to be gabgzta
You cab beb zat I'b real
Wheb halb ob zez gabgsta's realb iz a bree-bollar bill
Are those stairs regulation?
There was absolutely no reason why these stairs were necessary near the Maracana. There is a perfectly good, and safe, concrete ramp nearby. But somehow these stairs were built and now they are trying to kill everyone.
If you are in Brazil please stop using these stairs.
Maradona either banned from Maracana or tried wrong door
Argentina great Diego Maradona tried to take in the team’s match against Bosnia-Herzegovina. He was either banned from the famed Brazil venue (his words) or tried the wrong door (FIFA’s words).
“I was not allowed to go in to the game,” he told the Argentinian channel TyC Sports, according the The Guardian. “So I had to return to the hotel to see the second half. I did everything I could but they would not let us in.
“It is one thing to not be able to go to a game, and another to not be allowed to go. When there is goodwill, you’re allowed in but when there is ill will, it’s better to forget it and head back to the hotel, which it’s what we did.”
FIFA responded with this: "We are not aware that he was not allowed in to the Maracana. Perhaps he just tried the wrong door."
Like grandfather, like grandson
Robin van Persie’s granddad decided to try out his grandson’s trademark celebration.
Six hours later he was able to get up.