There is no question that we might be lucky enough to be seeing one of the best World Cups in modern history – but that hasn’t stopped us from watching a few stinkers that make us wonder how we can get those wasted 90 minutes back (spoiler alert: you can’t).
And so, for your viewing unenjoyment, here are our nominations for the worst match at the 2014 World Cup (so far). Please do not look at the highlights for reference.
Iran-Nigeria, Group phase
Why it was garbage: Iran did what it normally does, and sat back. Nigeria took advantage by doing nothing of note.
Score: 1-0 Germany
Why it was garbage: France got nervous, Germany got defensive, and the first real heavyweight matchup of the tournament was a major dud.
Costa Rica-England, Group phase
Why it was garbage: A tournament-low 12 attempts on goal. England didn’t care because it wanted to catch the early flight home. Costa Rica didn’t care because it was already through to the knockout round. Nobody else cared because Luis Suarez bit someone while this match was on.
Any match involving Russia, Group phase
Scores: 1-1 vs. South Korea, 0-1 vs. Belgium, 1-1 vs. Algeria.
Why they were garbage: Slow, plodding style focused on keeping 11 men in their third of the field. No imagination on offence. A parliamentary inquiry is forthcoming (this is not made up).