Meet Zinedine Yazid Zidane Thierry Henry Barthez Eric Felipe Silva Santos. He is seven years old, Brazilian, and his father named him after multiple players from 2006 French World Cup team.
“I don’t know [the rest of my names] yet. I never learned them,” the child, mercifully known just as “Zidane,” told Brazilian paper O Globo.
Zidane only knows three of his nine given names (which total 68 characters in length), and told the paper he’d rather be named after current Brazilian midfielder Luiz Gustavo.
He should thank his father that he wasn’t named “Neymar Fred Oscar Paulinho Hulk Fernandinho Maicon Marcelo David Luiz Thiago Silva Júlio César Jô Luiz Gustavo Victor Jefferson Dani Alves Dante Maxwell Henrique Ramire Hernanes Willian Bernard,” which could be a legitimate option for parents in Brazil two weeks from now.