I have coached both male and female hockey players on and off the ice for the last ten years, and there is no question that the approach I take when working with these two groups is very different. In general, I have always found working with the girls to be much easier for me, because I can identify with them directly as a player who was once in their place.
However, the majority of coaches at all levels of female hockey are male. They often find it much more difficult to identify with their young female athletes than their female counterparts because they have never been "in their shoes".
I have spoken to many male coaches about how they deal with this challenge and two main themes always come up.
The social side
The first big difference that comes up is on the social side of the game. Female teams tend to be much more socially focused. They have a true 'team first' mentality that isn't always present in the male game. Female players go out of their way to ensure that all of their teammates feel included and feel like part of the group. The bottom-line performance on the ice isn't usually as important as it is for the men.
On the men's side, if there is one player on the team that is a great player, but doesn't really want to be a team-player off of the ice, the men are more willing to leave him be. But the women really want everyone to feel included and have much more of a 'family' approach.
The mental side
Male and female players tend to have very different mental approaches to the game. In general, female players tend to have less confidence than their male counterparts. Female players are typically 'under-confident' in their abilities and tend to downplay their accomplishments both on and off the ice.
Although there are many male players that lack confidence, they are much less likely to show it or admit it. They tend to want to 'battle' through and not show what they perceive to be as a 'weakness'. On the female side, players tend to be much harder on themselves in terms of evaluating their own performance and don't give themselves enough credit for the skills they have.
Certainly, both male and female players have an equal desire to get better. But females are more likely to have less faith in their skills and generally lack confidence.
It means coaches and parents must be aware of these differences in the way females approach the game. It makes a big difference to the mental approach of everyone involved.
