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VIEWPOINT: PETER HADZIPETROS: BACK OF THE PACKIt’s a stretch
I just turned 50, while Saturday Night Live’s favourite whipping boy is now staring at the wrong side of 30. In plasticene years, that’s got to be at least 50, maybe older.
Sure, he’s packed a lot of life into those three decades: he was a star on a wildly popular network television show when he was one. Entertained millions. Made a lot of money, too, far more than my gig at the CBC will ever earn me. In those respects we differ.
But we share the aging thing. And lately, it seems, we share the crumbling thing.
Mr. Bill delighted viewers by falling apart whenever Mr. Hands or his associate, Sluggo, showed up. He’d get put back together – but Sluggo would return a week later and inflict his damage.
I have a Sluggo too. He’s made of asphalt, rolling terrain and time. Mr. Hands usually throws him at me once a year. By now, I should have some idea when they’ll be visiting. Maybe even the wherewithal to avoid them.
“Ohhhhh noooooo! You’re going to twist my glute! Nooooo! Ohhhhh!”
“That’s right, Mr. Older Runner. And I’m going to throw in a little knee pain, too.”
“Ohh nooo! My IT band!”
“Here comes my associate, Boston Sluggo. He’s going to work your quads.”
“Ohh noooo! They’re on fire!”
“Just run hard on them – right after the race. That’s right. Ignore common sense.”
Which is what I did. The plan after Boston was easy. Two weeks of recovery, two weeks of tapering, leading up to the second annual Mississauga Marathon. Would’ve been my ninth go at that distance.
Mississauga came and went – and I was on the sidelines. Knew I’d have to skip it a week earlier in the last few kilometres of what was turning into a very laboured run. Told one of my running buddies as much - as he emerged from behind a bush, having dealt with just a little too much pasta from the night before.
“Not gonna happen,” I said, striving to stay downwind. “Maybe the half marathon, if Lady Luck smiles down on me.”
Well luck was hanging around a different street corner that week. Three kilometres into an easy run Tuesday evening and my body waved the white flag. Told myself it would be great to get to watch one for a change, to cheer on a bunch of friends.
So I cheered - and pouted. Would’ve rather been out there, putting my body through a pounding, instead of sitting on a lawn chair, taking in the sun and sipping on a coffee.
Might still be a spectator for this year’s Bread and Honey road races in Streetsville in early June. Another local race, missed.
This isn’t a serious injury and it won’t keep me out of my running shoes for too long. Still, you don’t want to be forced off your feet: the numbers suggest that you lose fitness twice as fast as you gain it. It’s a fine line between being a well-fed gazelle and a Michelin Man – a line I don’t aim to cross.
Asked my massage therapist and a physiotherapist for their top three tips on avoiding injury. They agreed on number one: stretching, especially as you get older and your body loses some of its elasticity.
Studies on the effectiveness of stretching have been inconclusive, and doing it has never been too high on my agenda – it’s normally limited to reaching for a cold one that’s just beyond my grasp.
And there’s little in the way of research into whether stretching
helps older athletes avoid injury.
So I’m not convinced. I’m also not completely sure there’s an afterlife. But that doesn’t keep me from stopping by a Greek church every once in a while to light a candle.
So even if stretching won’t help me turn the clock back on my declining elasticity and avoid my annual Sluggo encounters, I’ll give it a whirl.
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Peter Hadzipetros writes background and indepth features
for CBC News Online. Until he got into long distance running a few years ago,
he was a net importer of calories. He's run several marathons, including two Bostons.
In Oct. 2004, he recorded a PB of 3:09.21 in Columbus.
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