Mrs. Wilkens fingers the edge of an unusual note tossed on her desk earlier in the day by one of her students. It’s a blunt request from a hockey coach she’s never set eyes on. He wants her to delay the due date of a class project.

Her immediate thought is to say no. She has enough problems juggling the demands of her principal, her teaching partner, the kids in her class and their parents. The needs of a hockey coach are her lowest priority.

James is one of her more excitable kids. The letter says his hockey team beat out seven others to advance to a prestigious international tournament. The problem? The games will be in a border city four hours away and they’ll be smack dab in the middle of the day. James will miss two days of school – two days that have been set aside for classroom presentations.

Mrs. Wilkens, who has two high school daughters, crosses her cramped classroom to the beat-up filing cabinet in the corner, opens one of the drawers and pulls out James’s bursting portfolio of work.

Experience has taught her to check the facts and not to react quickly or emotionally.

She walks back to her desk and pushes her bin of marking to the side to make room for this folder of everything he’s submitted. His writing is basic, predictable, short and without imagination. His in-class assignments consistently show problems with grammar. All of his writing is about hockey. His passion is obvious; so, too, is his ability to procrastinate.

James’s at-home assignments, whether they were in science, history or art, were all handed in late. She thinks James avoids telling his parents when the work is due. In class, he takes every shortcut imaginable, she guesses it’s even worse at home.

It would be unfair to punish James for being on a successful hockey team; on the other hand, she doesn’t want him to have an excuse for missing yet another deadline.

He’s an awkward bundle of energy. Other kids in the class are able to sit and listen as she gives instructions. James can’t. He sits with his feet splayed out in front. He shifts in his seat and chews on his pen. He drums his fingers on the desk.

Mrs. Wilkens teaches a Grade 3-4 split class. It means her day is a complicated maze of schedules. She teaches Grade 4 science twice a week - the same two periods James will be away.

The plan was for James to present his science project on pulleys and gears. The kids have been learning how to use simple machines to move heavy objects. The assignment is to design a mechanical way of moving a dog into a tree house.

As she reads the rest of his portfolio the school receptionist pages her; there’s a phone call waiting. She expects it’s James’s mother and she’s right.

“Hello, Mrs. Wilkens. Did James give you the note? I sure hope you can help out here. James is so excited by this tournament. Did he tell you the championship game went into four overtime periods? It was so exciting. We all hollered so much we couldn’t talk on the way home and you know how difficult that would have been for all of us.”

She laughed and finally took a breath. Mrs. Wilkens got a word in.

“Yes, James did put the letter on my desk. I was surprised it was from the coach rather than from you.”

“Well, coach is a teacher and he wanted to write the letter. Education and hockey are both important to him and you know how important hockey is to James. He lives for it.”

Mrs. Wilkens remembered from past conversations the only way to keep this talk short was to get right to the point.

“I have James’s information here and I notice he always hands assignments in late. At our meeting before Christmas you said we would work on that together. I’d like him to do his presentation the day before he leaves.”

“That might work. He has a lot to do this week, though, there’s a game Monday, a practice Tuesday and then there’s a little party before we leave for the tournament. Is there any way he can hand it in later?”

Gone are the days when a teacher’s suggestions are taken as gospel. Now everything’s a matter of negotiation.

“I have a schedule to keep and James can’t do the presentation later. Here’s what I can do. James will do the presentation before he leaves. I’ll give him time Monday and Tuesday to work on it. We’ll be talking about this in class for the next few days so that should give him plenty of time.”

There’s silence for a moment.

“So you’ll give him time in class? Yeah, that should be OK as long as you make sure he gets time in school.”

As the hockey mom hangs up Mrs. Wilkens sits back in her chair, frustrated but not surprised. She’s had this conversation before, with other hockey parents. They all say education is crucial, yet they’re always asking for their own set of rules to accommodate life at the rink. Even though, for most of these kids, the rink’s just a memory in 10 years; even though the classroom is for life.

  [Email Ken here]

People are forgetting in what order the word Student-Athlete appears. Student first, Athlete second. I have been around a lot of sports over my coaching years, youth to the elite levels and back again. Have seen the good and bad and everything in between.

We are making far too many concessions for the Athlete, many of whom will never see the inside of a university athletic locker room never mind a pro one. Sports is here to teach what it means to be on a team and what comes from hard work. Student-Athletes' time is limited, therefore you have to figure out how to get the assignments and exams done in the required time-slots. Not the other way around, especially for students who are not making the effort.

When I talk to some of my former players who are playing big-time NCAA division one basketball, they tell me it is tough go but the rewards are worth it. The sacrifice is the parties, social time, and having to go to summer school every year in order to stay eligible to play the next season to enjoy the TV coverage, the free education, and little bit of fame etc ... Everyone is always looking for the easy way out. Teachers should be supported and their decisions should be FINAL, no negotiations allowed.

Dave Ferencina
Head Coach Iroquois Ridge HS
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Your article When worlds collide outlines the type of concerns our household has had to work through in the past two or three years.

My son is the captain of his AA Minor Atom team and often has trouble keeping his bum in his classroom desk, but hockey allows him to stretch his legs as well as his wings.

His teacher, who has her class material planned well in advance, sends him home with a special pile of work every weekend, and after he plows through what is usually four hours worth of study, he is actually AHEAD for the upcoming week. This helps him cope with early morning practices and Thursday night exhaustion. His teacher has also agreed to keep a journal in which she notes his a.m. and p.m. behaviour every day. The journal gets sent home with his weekend work and he is booted off game systems and computers for the weekend if he has misbehaved that week. I must admit that once in a while he stickhandles a small assignment around us, but between his daily agenda and weekly newsletters from his teacher, we are able to help him stay on track.

It's a great deal of work, but it's worth it. I'm very, very thankful that his teacher is willing to put in that well-focused extra effort that helps my child succeed.

And as for the rink being a memory in 10 years, I don't think that is true at all for rep kids, who are learning a work ethic as well as a sport. They work incredibly hard at their game and are forced at an early age to find balance in their lives. I'm sure that their most treasured on-ice successes will develop into lifetime memories.

Additionally, classrooms often fail to provide the proper academic challenges for our children, especially the "busy" boys like mine!

While we all need to be literate and numerate in order to have a chance of succeeding later in life, "the classroom" is certainly not "for life". I'd rather see him travel!

Best regards,

Paul Stewart
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I recently discovered your stories and have throughly enjoyed every one. You see, this is my first year as a Rep hockey parent (my son is 9). While reading your stories I can relate to a: child, parent, coach and even myself as we venture into this new world of starry-eyed kids and parents. Your stories should be a must-read for every parent prior to entering the hockey world. (I have suggested this to a few parents on the team).

Thank you for your articles!

Stephen Boyd
Peterborough, Ont.
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I just finished reading your article about the plight of James and the issues he and his family created for Mrs. Wilkens. It's timely since we are also a hockey family (I am transplanted from Ontario now living in the Chicago area) that just got similar reviews via a quarterly report card about our own budding "Gretzky".

In his case he is in 7th Grade and plays travel Bantam hockey with a lot of enthusiasm and passion, a bright kid by his teacher's standards who has simply not completed a lot of his assignments. His grades, A's, B's and a C, dropped to C's and a D during this past hockey season. No more details necessary, he let things slide and all the while told us that his work was done.

As the hockey Dad who also manages in the organization (and is Junior's biggest advocate) I was disappointed; however I did not dole out the common sense needed in this matter. I was simply going to give him the "You have to try harder" speech, thinking that "My" boy will turn it around in the next quarter. It was my wife and a discussion with some teachers that I think gave this matter the appropriate dose of reality. Basically it's catch up in the next two weeks -- or miss the playoffs in the last weeks of Feb., any further problems will result in no spring hockey. We'll see what happens.

I'm not writing this to tell sports families how to do things, or heaven forbid how to raise their kids. I won't even comment on the behavior of the parent and coach in your article, I just hope they sort things out. The point here is that as the hockey guy, I was the one with blinders on, and not behaving like a parent. I'm just glad I have a wife with more common sense than sports sense and that Junior has a teacher who will speak up.

Thanks for your article.

Val Ozols
Chicago, IL
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Your article today about the teacher vs. the hockey coach was very
interesting to read. Living north of the border in the Metro Detroit area, I have witnessed these types of debates over the last 20 years. Sadly, I find that athletics usually wins over education. And as your article points out, athletics is a short time job, at best. I hope that Canada does not succumb to the same disaster that America has inflicted on itself (loss of many high paying, high education jobs for the sake of few entertainment positions).

Matthew A. Sawtell
Pontiac, MI
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I agree with the elementary teacher and her problems, but I would also suggest that we do not forget the many parents who do their job as a parent and try not to negotiate with teachers. I am also a teacher and a coach. I have had to deal with a lot of parents who want special attention for their children but this does not include only hockey parents. They are parents of wrestlers, singers, dancers, basketball players, etc. Parents need to remember that they need to follow school rules and fit hockey into that schedule even if it means missing a practice or party. Teachers need to remember that students trying to juggle extra-curricular events and school together will end up becoming better all around people than students who only think grades are going to make the person.

Jeff Corkish
Hastings High School
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