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by Ken Wolff
  Turning pro

Goals and assists turn into loonies and toonies for this young Sens fan
Kyle runs up the stairs and along the hall to his bedroom. He stops and surveys the room, making sure everything is exactly as it was before he went to his game. This is his private world and he’s pleased everything is in order. He reaches for the sign, places it neatly on the hook and closes the door behind him, quickly turning the lock to reinforce the message: Players Only Keep Out.

He’s pretty sure no other 12-year-old has a bedroom quite like this. He takes off his socks so he can feel the carpet between his toes as he walks to his bed. His parents are proud of this carpet. Last year they heard about a guy in Peterborough who makes carpets based on NHL designs. Good thing they were sitting down when they heard the price.

Instead of wall-to-wall they settled for a smaller version, but they got the design they wanted: a duplicate of the red Senators jersey. It looks spectacular. It was delivered about a month ago and the room still has that new-carpet smell.

His parents have been scrimping ever since; they cut out their regular Saturday night trip to a local restaurant and are now only buying one bottle of wine for the week. Kyle figures it’s so they can pay for his carpet.

Ever since it arrived Kyle has avoided walking on the helmeted centurion; he’s heard the players say its bad luck to show disrespect for the team logo. He’d do anything to avoid giving his Senators bad luck.

There are no dirty clothes piled on the floor in this room. He goes to the corner and puts his socks in the clothes hamper; it’s painted Senators red. Then he gets down on his belly and edges under the bed to the back corner where the carpet is black. Firmly between the leg of the bed and the wall, barely visible, is his black Senators shoebox. And there, propped up against the box, is the paper clip. The box hasn’t been disturbed.

Ever since his uncle got involved in his parents’ system of rewards the box has been getting heavier. Toonies add weight. He carefully opens the box, places it on the bed and looks at the stack of bills. He stands and pulls a $20 out of his pocket, his reward for today’s hat trick.

When his parents started to pay him for his goals his Mom said he should write down details of the game. She said it would help him remember things. At first he thought it was dumb, but he discovered it was fun. Now writing about his performance gives him great pleasure.

He picks up the Senators pen and turns to a new page in his notebook.

“Nov. 12 vs. Sting…we win 8-0
·goal in first period … deked around defenceman and shot through five-hole
·next shift took puck from behind our net, went through entire team and scored (coach said I should have passed…what does he know?)
·second period - carried puck to the right side and passed to Freddie whose shot missed a wide open net…I should have shot
·third period - scramble in front of net, their player puts it in, should have been my goal cuz I touched it last, but ref gives goal to Billy. I tell the ref he’s wrong, but he doesn’t do anything about it
·coach puts me on defence, says he wants to keep the score down…I steal the puck and go down the ice and score

The team has only played 12 games and Kyle already feels rich. He has $40 from his two hat tricks. He’s had another nine goals, which at $5 apiece gives him another $45. And then he gets a toonie from his uncle for every assist so there’s another $8. He’s already made $93 and the season has just begun.

There’s a knock on the door. “Kyle, can I come in?” It’s his dad. Kyle slams the lid back on his shoebox and slides it deep under his bed. He unlocks the door.

Kyle’s dad has his video camera in his hand. Halfway through last season he started to take his camera to the games and tape Kyle’s performance. The first couple of efforts were a bit shaky, now he takes a tripod with him so the quality is better.

He tries to stay away from other parents when he’s taping; he quickly learned people forget about the microphone and say things that shouldn’t be recorded. He and Kyle try to sit down after every game and review the tape. It’s easier for Kyle to see what he’s doing right when it’s on the television in front of him.

His dad hands him the camera and a piece of paper.

“I’ve written down three things to look for. One is your end-to-end rush. Nice play. Next is the pass to Freddie. Watch his positioning for what not to do. I also want you to look at that time your shot hit the goalie in the chest. Look at how much of the net was open. We’ll go over it together after dinner.”

Kyle nods. “The tape’s going to show that I scored that other goal. Does that mean I get the bonus $10?” He gets another $10 for every goal after the hat trick.

Kyle’s dad agrees and leaves the room. Before the season he had said if there was a disagreement between the game sheet and what the tape showed, they’d go by the tape.

As soon as he relocks the door Kyle hooks up the camera to the 30-inch Sony. He fast-forwards, searching for the controversial play for proof that the goal was his; he’s disappointed with the result. He can barely see the puck, let alone who touched it last. He wanted that money, but the tape doesn’t prove a thing. The Senators are playing the Canucks in a couple of months and he plans on using this money to buy a couple of tickets.

He looks at his hockey schedule for the next two weeks. His next two games are against the worst teams in the league. He smiles; four goals in one game, three in the other and he’ll have the money he needs. Who needs $2 for an assist when it’s so easy to score the goals yourself?


LETTERS   [Email Ken here]

Great idea taping the game. I do it with my own son and it works. He must be a visual learner. Brutal idea paying for goals and assists. Obviously a wealthy family with a bit too much cash lying around the house. The kid seems to be oblivious to the team concept, critical of teammates and going to the official to have goals overturned to his favour. Not sure what your motivation for publishing this story was, but if it was to show how not to reward your child for a job well done then I applaud you.

Trevor Bast
Victoria, BC

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2003-04
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Apr. 4 Tears
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About Ken...
Ken Wolff has lived the life of a hockey dad for more than a decade. He's opened the gate for kids on the bench, tied skates in the dressing room, protested against referees' calls from the stands, and attended meetings with the bosses of minor hockey.
His column appears here every Friday.

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