The hockey bag full of stinking equipment has been moved from its honoured place just inside the front door. The sticks have been tossed into a corner where no one will trip over them. Taking their place are baseball cleats, lacrosse sticks and soccer balls. The minor hockey season is all but done.

One more adventure remains – tryouts. It's without doubt the most emotional and difficult journey of the season. Players arrive at arenas to join dozens of others in a test of their hockey skills. All are bursting with high expectations and hope. It doesn't take long for reality to strike.

Last week I told the story of Dillon, a small, talented, hardworking player who didn't make the cut. He left the arena with tears streaming down his face.

Your letters, and they were numerous, suggest the pressure of performing drills at top speed under the watchful eye of numerous coaches is minor compared to the expectations of intense, unforgiving hockey parents.

As a coach in Calgary, every fall as the evaluations take place, I see this kind of disappointment and it is really sad. There is simply too much pressure on these young kids to make the 1 or A teams.

The problem is, in many cases the pressure comes from home where the parents have dreams that they are living out through their kids. Too many people lose sight of what is important, that playing the game is supposed to be for fun.

Ric Dormer
Calgary, AB

Some parents thrive on the tryout atmosphere that begins months before the actual skate. They chat up coaches and scrounge for every morsel of information that's available through hockey's gossip network. They work the system and eventually convince themselves that they've been able to negotiate a special deal. Many of you wrote that they should spend more time helping their sons develop realistic expectations.

The one thing never mentioned in your story is the role of the parents. How did they prepare Dillon for the tryouts? Without support from the parents the disappointment can be hard on a child. You need to discuss things with your child before the tryouts and not blame coaches afterwards. This can be a little lesson about life, not just hockey.

Surely, we all come just a little short of something important in life. We do not just get things because we want them. Life can be unfair but it is how we deal with setbacks that determines happiness. Take this opportunity to show your child how to cope, not blame someone else or moan about how unfair the process is.

Parents need to help the child deal with the pressure and the outcome. That is something they can use every day of life, unlike the hockey skills.

Steven, Nova Scotia.

Parents also need to know how difficult it is to select a team, especially at the elite level. The following letter is from a coach of a AAA team. His players are extraordinary. Some have a shot at being drafted by the top junior teams or being awarded university scholarships. It's not only these players who are being scrutinized; the coach is expected to select the players who will form a winning team; anything less is unacceptable.

Coaches cannot sacrifice 18 other players for one, especially at AAA Midget. Nineteen special kids fit our team profile. Nineteen kids that each has a role to fill. Some are big, some are small, some are quick, some can score and some we call "hunters" – our penalty kill specialists.

Each of them accepts his role knowing that the team concept is what brings victory and brings added exposure to scouts/schools. Though your story of Dillon is too often true (size & the numbers game), a coach must put together a 19-piece puzzle that best fits the talent level that comes out for the team, his style of coaching and the team philosophy.

Consequently hopes will be dashed, but in the end life must go on, and I would hope that the players and their parents see beyond the immediate pain and rally around each other and the game as it is far too enjoyable - at any level - to shun based on one coach's decision.

Yours in Sports,
Marc

There's one more letter I want to include. It's about a hockey experience that thankfully is rare, but undeniably exists in leagues across the country.

I'm only in bantam hockey, but all I hear is "knock him on his ass." I do as I'm told and I don't mind doing it.

Before one game you could feel that it wasn't going to be pretty. As we were putting on our helmets the coaches told us if one fights, the whole line fights. I was the last player to leave for the ice and one coach, who will remain nameless, said if they pull any shit they will answer to you.

The game was not good. The ref would not call anything for us and the calls he made against us were bogus. The other team decided they would start to poke and slash at the goalie. I did my best to clear them out but I kept getting penalties.

I came to the bench out of the box and one of the coaches came over to me and said next time, fight. I did what I had to do. This team didn't know how to fight fair and they sent 3 more guys out on the ice to beat me up. It didn't work. I laid them out too.

After the game the coach of the other team came over to one of the smaller guys on my team who was in the fight and said he was going to get hurt. Two players from the other team started to come over until I stepped in.