CBC-Sports

What can save the Habs? How about a few cold ones

February 28, 2009 08:46 PM | Posted by   P.J. Stock  

Someone throw me a life preserver. I'm drowning in a world of hate here in Montreal.

The Habs are struggling, their goalies can't stop a beach ball, coaches are under fire, numerous young players' off-ice activities have been a hot topic, Guy Lafleur has called out Bob Gainey, Gainey has called out Alex Kovalev, the power play stinks, it's still snowing, the team has only three wins in February, 11 players will be unrestricted free agents, Saku Koivu's captaincy is an issue (again).... blah, blah, blah.

I'm tired of discussing all the Canadiens' problems over the last month. I'm tired of being asked if I know anything about the team's dilemmas. I'm tired of being questioned about the reasons why the team is struggling so badly in its centennial season.

I have no answers. But I might have some solutions.

I have, on numerous occasions, called out the Canadiens for playing like a bunch of individuals instead of a team. I said after last year's playoffs that they snuck past the underdog Bruins and lost to Philly because they didn't have enough character on their team. They didn't play with a wolfpack mentality. They were a bunch of individuals playing at a time of the year when it's supposed to be all about "the team."

This year it's the same thing. How many times does your goalie have to get run over before you stand up for him? How many times will one of your star players be knocked around and almost out before someone sticks up for him? How many times will a rookie have his head almost put through the glass before someone steps in and sends a message that you can't push the team around?

Tom Kostopoulos tries, but he's the only one. He is on an island all by himself.

Not too late to save the centennial

Say you're in a bar and a buddy gets sucker punched. You're getting in there no matter the odds. Why? Because you know that he would do the same for you. That's what buddies do for each other. When your backs are up against the wall, you look at him, he looks at you, and you give it all you've got. It might not always be the smartest option, but heck, you're in a bar. You're not splitting atoms.

That thought process should be the same on a hockey team, but that doesn't seem to be the case with the Habs.

How do you resolve that? A bar brawl like in the movie The Replacements would be great. But, of course, I don't encourage violence, so how about a good old-fashioned too-much-to-drink night to get the boys talking and bonding?

(Even though I, of course, do not encourage —sip — the consumption —sip— of alcohol —burp—.)

Before some of you get you knickers all in a knot, this is what I would do as a leader on the team. It might not be the P.C. answer that some of you are always looking for but, believe it or not, it works. Guys open up, say things that have been on their chest, laugh at practice the next day and — voila — buddies for life.

Sometimes after these bonding sessions guys might even go as far as to get tattoos together, slice each other and become blood brothers, have sleepovers and watch Cocoon and Breakfast at Tiffany's and reruns of Three's Company.

There are other solutions and I'm sure you all have opinions, but that is how I'd fix it.

I hope the Canadiens can turn this around sooner or later. The city of Montreal rocks around playoff time and it would be unfortunate for hockey if the Habs are out of the playoffs in their 100th year.

Everyone in hockey wants them to be there, but unless they start playing like a team it will be another early summer.

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