50 Cent, meet your match. Miss Texas already has one crown, and now she’s coming for yours.

Monique Evans, the current keeper of the Miss Texas crown, threw out the first pitch Friday night as the Rangers hosted the Los Angeles Angels.

It did not go well.

There are many elements that come together to make this one of the Worst Opening Pitches in History:

  • Miss Texas’ unique windup, which is a cross between something you’d see at a softball game and something you’d see while taking in a performance of the The Nutcracker
  • The pitch itself, which seems to not want to have anything to do with the situation, and scurries far off to the right
  • Miss Texas’ impeccable finishing pose, which was held for several seconds after the pitch was thrown, which in no way diverted attention away from what was transpiring
  • Her crown, which she wore, and – it must be said – remained perfectly positioned atop her head for the entire sequence
  •  The look of both the Rangers coach waiting to receive said ball, and the Texas mascot, both of whom looked like they could not comprehend what was occurring

It is a work of art, to be sure. And to compare, here again is 50 Cent’s opening pitch in New York, in all its glory.

Poll

And now the obvious question: who holds the title? Does 50 Cent still reign supreme, or will Miss Texas need to come up with another acceptance speech?