Interpreting playoff clichés | Hockey | CBC Sports

Playoffs 2013Interpreting playoff clichés

Posted: Monday, May 6, 2013 | 07:23 PM

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Pittsburgh Penguins superstar Sidney Crosby was been media savvy several years before he entered the NHL in 2005. (Jim McIsaac/Getty Images) Pittsburgh Penguins superstar Sidney Crosby was been media savvy several years before he entered the NHL in 2005. (Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

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We here at Hockey Night in Canada are not only here to entertain, but to educate. Luckily, I happen to be fluent in the language of playoff clichés, and just so you don't feel like you are watching an interview in another language, here are the interpretations of some commonly heard sound quotes in the playoffs.
If you have been a hockey fan for a significant amount of time, you have become accustomed to the art of the cliché.

In this day in age, almost all players entering the league have not only been trained on how to handle the media properly, but have grown up watching (and practising themselves) what to say when the camera is on and the Hockey Night in Canada towel is draped over their shoulder.

Clichés are always looked upon as "safe" answers, but the players who are really good at it can still get their point across in a subliminal type of way.

We here at Hockey Night in Canada are not only here to entertain, but to educate. Luckily, I happen to be fluent in the language of playoff clichés, and just so you don't feel like you are watching an interview in another language, here are the interpretations of some commonly heard sound quotes in the playoffs.

Situation: Intermission interview, after team just got outplayed in every way.
Quote: "That period didn't go the way we would have liked, but we will go in the room and figure out what went wrong and come out and play better in the second."
What he really meant: "Please make this interview go longer! I REALLY don't want to go in there. Coach is really mad! C'mon, ask me about my backyard rink growing up or something."

Situation: Team just fell behind 3-0 in the series.
Quote: "We have dug ourselves a hole, but the series is not over. We just need to take it one game at a time."
What he really meant: "Look, we'll show up and give it the old college try, but this probably isn't happening.  I may even have a tee time already set up for next week, just in case."

Situation: Team just went up 3-0 in the series
Quote: "This is a tough team we are playing, we know they won't lay down."
What he really meant: "Who do we got next??"

Situation: Star player just got seriously injured
Quote: "You can't replace a guy like him. We all just need to work a little harder to make up for him not being in the lineup."
What he really meant: "We are in big, BIG trouble! Maybe he can tape up that broken ankle?"

Situation: In-game bench interview with coach
Quote: "We need to play better."
What he really meant: "Get off my bench right now so I can yell at my team using not-for-TV language."

Situation: Coach asked about a questionable hit one his players did during the game
Quote: "That's a hockey play. He hit him in the shoulder. I don't know why you guys are even asking me about it."
What he really meant: "Please Shanny, PLEASE don't suspend him. My job is on the line here. Besides, you did WAY worse in your playing days."

Situation: Player just won the Conn Smythe Trophy and is now a UFA.
Quote: "Couldn't have done it without my teammates. It's an honour to win it, but it's all about the Stanley Cup"
What he really meant: SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!

And finally...

Situation: Jim Schoenfeld a little upset with referee Don Koharski
Quote: "Good, 'cause you fell, you fat pig! Have another doughnut! Have another doughnut!"
What he really meant: "Good, 'cause you fell, you fat pig! Have another doughnut! Have another doughnut!" (Some quotes don't need interpretation)


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