The Irrelevant Show: Sketches

All podcast episodes

Use the links below to download a file.

DOG PARK - Sketch

You can talk about poop all you want, but there are some things you NEVER say at the dog park. Like your name.

Download DOG PARK - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:49]

WORST SPY - Sketch

Someone finally figures out that James Bond is super-easy to catch if you know where to look.

Download WORST SPY - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:14]

JOCELYN AHLF - TANTRUM SONG - Sketch

When Jocelyn Ahlf's four-year old daughter threw a tantrum -- Jocelyn and Jan Randall set it to music, and gave it the operatic treatment it deserved.

Download JOCELYN AHLF - TANTRUM SONG - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:08]

HUMAN PEOPLE FOR ALDA - Sketch

Yes, there is a charity that raises money for Alan Alda. Just because he’s awesome.

Download HUMAN PEOPLE FOR ALDA - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:37]

GRANDPA STORE - Sketch

Ever wondered why your grandpa keeps giving you presents that are ALMOST what you wanted, but not quite?

Download GRANDPA STORE - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:01:32]

BE ARTHURS SONG: BIG WORLD - Sketch

Enough whining, boomers. Ryan and Sheldon sing a song about all the ways life in 2013 is awesome.

Download BE ARTHURS SONG: BIG WORLD - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:28]

LUNCH SHAPED BREAKFAST - Sketch

This idea is either fantastic or terrible. See what you think.

Download LUNCH SHAPED BREAKFAST - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:19]

JOCELYN AHLF SONG - LYRICS DON'T MATTER - Sketch

You can listen to them if you want, but the lyrics don’t matter.

Download JOCELYN AHLF SONG - LYRICS DON'T MATTER - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:28]

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT - Sketch

Hey, people who leave smelly food in the microwave at work – this message is for you!

Download PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:00:57]

STUART MCLEAN GIVES DIRECTIONS

A CBC legend offers kindly advice to a passer-by.

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[mp3 file: runs 00:02:02]

BEN SURES SONG: SOMEWHERE THERE’S A VILLAGE - Sketch

The Irrelevant Show’s popular hockey anthem, about Canadian dreams coming true. To see the video go to:

Download BEN SURES SONG: SOMEWHERE THERE’S A VILLAGE - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:36]

POCKET INTERROGATOR - Sketch

The device that will keep marriages together, and end all those awkward conversations.

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[mp3 file: runs 00:03:23]

JAMES DYSON PART ONE - Sketch

Millionaire inventor James Dyson talks about his new invention and uses the word “suction” as many times as he possibly can. (Part 1 – for parts 2, 3 and 4, listen to the whole episode)

Download JAMES DYSON PART ONE - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:01:25]

TELEBUDDIES - Sketch

The weirdest kids’ TV show ever is back.. and this time they’re fighting the forces of evil!

Download TELEBUDDIES - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:30]

BE ARTHURS SONG: LIVING WITH HIS PARENTS - Sketch

He’s smooth, he’s sexy, he’s gonna rock your world - just be careful not to wake up his parents.

Download BE ARTHURS SONG: LIVING WITH HIS PARENTS - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:24]

BATTLE FOR THE BILL - Sketch

A man and his father-in-law locked in a life-long battle over who will pay for dinner.

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[mp3 file: runs 00:05:32]

WOMAN MAN 1 - Sketch

Our hero is bitten by a radioactive woman, and becomes the new hero WOMAN-MAN. (For parts 2 and 3, listen to the whole episode)

Download WOMAN MAN 1 - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:21]

BEN SURES SONG: GYPSY SWING - Sketch

Ben Sures proves that gypsy swing can make absolutely anything sound cool.

Download BEN SURES SONG: GYPSY SWING - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:07]

MOVIE ADAPTATION 1 - Sketch

The Oprah Winfrey network presents guy movies specially adapted for women. (this is part one – for more, listen to the whole episode)

Download MOVIE ADAPTATION 1 - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:00:40]

IKEDA - Sketch

Turns out a Swedish store with impossible-to-build home furnishings is doing you a huge favour. Find out how.

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[mp3 file: runs 00:01:44]

BE ARTHURS SONG: WAITING FOR LIKES - Sketch

A song about the fine art of phone-tography and the wonders of instagram. (check out #waitingforlikes to see the Be Arthurs singing this, and lots of other pix)

Download BE ARTHURS SONG: WAITING FOR LIKES - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:03]

SMELLS LIKE HOME - Sketch

Introducing a new product for homesick Canadians – the smells of home

Download SMELLS LIKE HOME - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:01:48]

DIANA KRALL SINGS O CANADA PART ONE - Sketch

A Canadian jazz legend gives an epic performance of the national anthem. Here’s the first part – for parts 2 and 3, listen to the whole episode.

Download DIANA KRALL SINGS O CANADA PART ONE - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:01:16]

VENTRILOQUISTS - Sketch

The greatest speeches ever given, as delivered by Ventriloquists!!

Download VENTRILOQUISTS - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:01:35]

NEVER SAY NEVER - Sketch

James Bond and his arch-nemesis Blofeld meet again.. in a long-term care facility.

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[mp3 file: runs 00:03:20]

JOCELYN AHLF SONG: YOU AND I ALONE - Sketch

Jocelyn confesses her burning, forbidden love for potato chips.

Download JOCELYN AHLF SONG: YOU AND I ALONE - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:39]

RECORDING SESSION - Sketch

Two foul-mouthed, combative British brothers record their new relaxation CD.

Download RECORDING SESSION - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:48]

CASUAL HOSPITAL - Sketch

A new CBC drama for hep young people in a language they understand. Lots of abbreviashes, because YOLO.

Download CASUAL HOSPITAL - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:00]

BE ARTHURS SONG: BEANPOLE - Sketch

The ridiculously tall and thin Chris Bullough of the Be Arthurs sings an awesome love song to himself.

Download BE ARTHURS SONG: BEANPOLE - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:17]

3-BOUNCE FRENCH - Sketch

You don’t want to be rude to French-speakers, but on the other hand your French is terrible. We have the answer.

Download 3-BOUNCE FRENCH - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:16]

MS. CBC RADIO PAGEANT - Sketch

How does that work exactly? Find out!

Download MS. CBC RADIO PAGEANT - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:05]

ARENA FUNDRAISER - Sketch

A plea for help from the downtrodden millionaires and billionaires of the NHL. Please listen with your heart and give generously.

Download ARENA FUNDRAISER - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:34]

BE ARTHURS SONG: MOUSTACHE - Sketch

The Be Arthurs sing the praises of the Moustache, and some of the great moustaches of history.

Download BE ARTHURS SONG: MOUSTACHE - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:00]

SUPERMAN IS STILL A JERK - Sketch

Apparently Superman is also a super-jerk, as Batman learns the hard way.

Download SUPERMAN IS STILL A JERK - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:45]

Linked In - Sketch

If you’ve been invited to join LinkedIn, but you have no idea what it is, well, here’s one possible answer.

Download Linked In - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:45]

Sarlacc - Sketch

The amazing Hollywood career of Sarlacc, that giant gaping mouth-hole thing with tentacles in Return of the Jedi.

Download Sarlacc - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:51]

Grandma Phone - Sketch

Three Canadian lads compete to see who can end a phone call with their Grandma the fastest.

Download Grandma Phone - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:41]

Kieran Martin Murphy: Edmonton Song - Sketch

A Sinatra-style tune about the koo-koo town that we call Edmonton.

Download Kieran Martin Murphy: Edmonton Song - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:16]

Irrelevant Show Mailbag - Sketch

Cast member Mark Meer answers emails from Irrelevant Show listeners.

Download Irrelevant Show Mailbag - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:59]

Hulk Smash My Heart - Sketch

HULK SMASH MY HEART. The Irrelevant Show presents: The Hulk Musical!!

Download Hulk Smash My Heart - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:05:00]

Be Arthurs Song: Wingman - Sketch

A tune about the awesome dude who helps his awesome bro have awesome times, the Wingman.

Download Be Arthurs Song: Wingman - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:28]

Breaking Comedy News - Sketch

You heard it here first – “That’s What She Said” is dead.

Download Breaking Comedy News - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:35]

Audio Book - Sketch

Gilbert Gottfried reads Jane Austen. Finally!

Download Audio Book - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:00:48]

Be Arthurs Song: Big World - Sketch

Enough whining, boomers. Ryan and Sheldon sing a song about all the ways life in 2013 is awesome.

Download Be Arthurs Song: Big World - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:28]

Grandpa Store - Sketch

Ever wondered why your grandpa keeps giving you presents that are ALMOST what you wanted, but not quite?

Download Grandpa Store - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:01:32]

Human People for Alda - Sketch

Yes, there is a charity that raises money for Alan Alda. Just because he’s awesome.

Download Human People for Alda - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:37]

Kieran Martin Murphy Song: Ben Mulroney - Sketch

A Stan-Rogers style anthem about the host of E Talk.

Download Kieran Martin Murphy Song: Ben Mulroney - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:15]

Gym Teacher Explains Things (Part 1) - Sketch

Coach Carlson explains how to know for sure you’re in love. You can hear more gym teacher explanations in episode 21.

Download Gym Teacher Explains Things (Part 1) - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:08]

Cyberdisk - Sketch

The future of smart phones. All you have to do is talk into it. How cool is that?

Download Cyberdisk - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:05]

Be Arthurs Song: Pimp It Out - Sketch

Nobody rocks harder than a father of three in a pimped-out family van.

Download Be Arthurs Song: Pimp It Out - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:52]

Dave The Sound Effects Guy - Sketch

Meet Dave Clarke, the show’s Sound Sculptor extraordinaire, and hear his three kinds of silence.

Download Dave The Sound Effects Guy - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:38]

Shakespeare 2 - Sketch

The Irrelevant Show Players’ production of Hamlet, in which some obvious logic problems are pointed out.

Download Shakespeare 2 - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:24]

Jocelyn Ahlf Song - Mom Purse - Sketch

A tribute to the Tardis-like splendour of the mom purse.

Download Jocelyn Ahlf Song - Mom Purse - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:04]

Ready to Rock 1 - Sketch

Well, are you? (you can hear parts 2 and 3 in Episode 19)

Download Ready to Rock 1 - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:00]

Brain Spaceship - Sketch

We take you to the control center of one man’s brain, to answer the question, what was that idiot thinking?

Download Brain Spaceship - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:44]

Bad Boy of the Nursing Home, Part 1 - Sketch

You can hear more of Leonard, Bad Boy of the Nursing Home, in episode 18.

Download Bad Boy of the Nursing Home, Part 1 - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:00:54]

Shootout Snake Dawson - Sketch

The bullets and the metaphors are flyin’ in a surreal old west shootout.

Download Shootout Snake Dawson - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:06:14]

Be Arthurs Song: Living with my parents - Sketch

He’s smooth, he’s sexy, he’s gonna rock your world - just be careful not to wake up his parents.

Download Be Arthurs Song: Living with my parents - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:24]

Lunch Shaped Breakfast - Sketch

This idea is either fantastic or terrible. See what you think.

Download Lunch Shaped Breakfast - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:02:19]

Jocelyn Ahlf Song "Lyrics Don't Matter" - Sketch

You can listen to them if you want, but the lyrics don’t matter.

Download Jocelyn Ahlf Song "Lyrics Don't Matter" - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:28]

Public Service Announcement - Sketch

Hey, people who leave smelly food in the microwave at work – this message is for you!

Download Public Service Announcement - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:00:57]

Modern Greeting Card - Sketch

A greeting card for 2013 from your friends at the Irrelevant Show.

Download Modern Greeting Card - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:00:34]

Knights - Sketch

Are Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney ready to be real-life knights?

Download Knights - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:45]

Daylight Saving Time - Sketch

It may be only an hour, but it’s tearing one family apart.

Download Daylight Saving Time - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:02]

Jocelyn Ahlf “Television Contest Winner Song” - Sketch

That song that everyone sings on the TV singing competition about how they just won a TV singing competition. That song.

Download Jocelyn Ahlf “Television Contest Winner Song” - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:44]

Accidental Witness - Sketch

The most dramatic series of phone calls the Irrelevant Show answering machine has ever received.

Download Accidental Witness - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:04:35]

Cowboy Poetry 1 - Sketch

The Irrelevant Show’s take on Cowboy Poetry.

Download Cowboy Poetry 1 - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:01:05]

Jocelyn Ahlf Song “Zit on My Face” - Sketch

A Meatloaf-style anthem about a forty-something woman who discovers a pimple.

Download Jocelyn Ahlf Song “Zit on My Face” - Sketch
[mp3 file: runs 00:03:46]