Friday November 25, 2016

A former adult film star on the joy and honesty of bathroom sex

Former adult film performer, Conner Habib

Former adult film performer, Conner Habib

Listen 5:56

Warning: This story contains descriptions of anonymous sexual encounters, and may be inappropriate for some listeners.

"If there is a place where men are going to stand next to each other with their genitals exposed, there's going to be sex happening there at some point or another."

Conner Habib is a writer, lecturer, activist and also had a long career as an adult film performer. 

For him, bathrooms became a space where there was sexual tension but also a space with the possibility of sexual release. 

The college he went to was in a conservative town and the closest gay bar, which he was too young to go to anyway, was and hour and a half away in Pittsburgh. 

"There was a bathroom on campus in one of the buildings there and you'd go in and there would just be guys cruising and I would go there pretty often actually, at first with some shame about it."

But after talking to a lesbian friend about how much women and especially lesbians would love to have a space like this he started to take advantage of it as much as possible.

"I think when we have sex we bring a whole host of anxieties and insecurities to it and a lot of those are related to our identities. You know, these places where men have sex, in restrooms, I mean they're anonymous spaces so you don't really bring any of your identity to these space...In that sense it's an extremely honest encounter."