Sunday September 24, 2017
Forced to choose between caring for your father or your spouse
more stories from this episode
- In sickness and in (mental) health
- My mother's early-onset dementia diagnosis sidetracked both our lives
- She adopted her brother, and went from sister to 'Mommy'
- When no one asks how you're doing as a caregiver
- He chose to be a caregiver... even when he didn't have to
- Forced to choose between caring for your father or your spouse
- You might be making life harder for parents of autistic kids
- Full Episode
Denyse Lynch's elderly father had been living with her and her spouse for about four years when things started becoming unmanageable.
Denyse's father slowly required more daily care, like bathing and dressing, at a time when her husband became ill. Her husband acquired a rare eye condition that left him unable to function for a few years.
"I was like, 'Ok, I'm still having to care for my dad but then the big concern was my husband'...I was anxious. I was, 'Wow, how am I going to cope with this?'"
"I just remember it being an exhausting time," says Denyse.
They tried homecare for her dad but Denyse says they had negative experiences.
When Denyse's father originally moved in with her, he was worried about becoming an imposition. So, they agreed that when he needed more care than she could provide, they would look into a senior's residence.
But when the time came, it was really hard for Denyse and her dad.
"That was probably one of the worst conversations I've ever had in my life. I thought that I was abandoning my father."
Looking back Denyse says she doesn't feel like she had any other choice.
"I think we did the best we could with what we had."