You know you’re not a Lizard Person, but how do you prove it to others?
“I hate it to hell. It makes you look like Adam Duritz. And you KNOW how I feel about the Counting Crows.”
Has your girlfriend been distant lately? Perhaps she’s been taking phone calls at odd hours, or seems to be hiding something?
The nominees are whiter and more homogenous than an artisanal mason jar of organic 3.25% milk that came from a free-range farm.