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A Guide To A (Very Very) Quiet New Year’s Eve

Dec 27, 2016

For parents of young kids, the New Year’s Eve party is a thing of the past. Getting dressed up and going out to a fancy do seems like an insurmountable challenge, even if you could lock down a babysitter.

But fear not! You can still have a night worth celebrating by bringing the party to you. All you need is some clever planning and some gracious guests, and you can host a NYE blowout that won’t wake the kids.

Here’s a countdown of 10 tips for a different kind of Silent Night:

10. Lay down extra carpets 

Have all your guests remove their shoes upon arrival. This is a socks and slippers affair.

9. Insist on a whisper system

It may cause some conversational confusion, but it will lend an intimate atmosphere to the soirée. Also consider non-verbal forms of communication: eye contact, hand signals, flash cards.

8. Two words: Wireless headphones

They let you enjoy some party tunes without the troublesome noise bleed.


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7. Stop that pop!

Pre-open all champagne bottles and use a bit of plastic wrap over the opening to keep those bubbles fresh.

6. Plastic cups

They're essential for avoiding smashed glasses or the cacophonous clinking of crystal cups.

5. No crunchy foods

No chips, crackers, baby carrots — they're out. Stick to soft breads and dips.

4. Try a decibel detector app

Or buy one of those decibel detectors from the heist scene in Mission Impossible. “Toast. Toast.”


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3. Voiceless countdown

Use your fingers, you have 10 of them for a reason!

2. Embrace subtitles

When it comes time to sing Auld Lang Syne, bring up a video with subtitles so you can follow along.

1. Try not to laugh

Laughter wakes children and invites them to come down and join the party. But smile as big as you like.

Article Author Etan Muskat
Etan Muskat

Etan Muskat is a writer, actor and improviser. He is an alumni of The Second City Mainstage in Toronto where he wrote and performed in 4 revues. He is a regular performer and director at the Bad Dog Comedy Theatre and a member of the award-winning Bad Dog Repertory Players. He has toured across the country performing improv, theatre and sketch, and is a regular instructor at both the Second City Training Centre and Bad Dog. In 2009 he co-wrote and directed the acclaimed webseries The Bitter End. He has two children, ages 0 and 3, both unemployed. Etan can be found on Twitter @EtanMuskat.

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