A tribute to sports of the crazy/brave

Last Updated: Friday, February 26, 2010 | 8:09 AM ET

By Brandon Hicks, CBC Sports

Short track speedskating is not for the faint of heart. (Vincenzon Pinto/AFP/Getty Images)

Canada's Kyle Nissen, Steve Omischl and Warren Shouldice may not have ended up with medals in men's aerials Thursday, but they should be celebrated anyway just because they have the moxie to compete in that high-risk skiing spectacle.

There are more than a few events at the Olympics that require several doses of bravery (and maybe a dash of crazy?).

So, in honour of these crazy/brave individuals, here is a selection of Olympic sports that I love watching ... from a safe distance.

Short track speedskating

This is by far one of the best Olympic sports. It is unpredictable and constantly thrilling, and I am a fan of any sport that can give a last-place Australian a gold medal after everyone else crashes in the final turn (see: 2002 Olympics ).

For that reason, it is also one that should never be attempted without full body armour.

Think about it: You're travelling at extremely high speeds around a small track, and the only thing separating you from a mouthful of padded wall is a razor-sharp skate digging a millimetres-thin groove into the ice.

Oh, and did I mention you were racing against three or four other ornery individuals who think "personal space" is a state of mind that disappeared with the eight-track tapes?

They don't call it "roller derby on ice" for nothing.

Considering I was the one of the last kids to master the art of the "crossover" in skating, fellow racers and even some nearby track officials would be in immediate danger any time I stepped onto the ice.

Anything with "cross" in the title

Now take short-track speedskating, put skis or snowboards on the racers' feet and put them on a winding, snowy downhill course. Add jumps to increase awesomeness factor.

Skicross and snowboard cross are two more Olympic sports that were fun to watch (and not just because Canada, well, kinda dominated them).

Skicross: Roller derby on skis. (Adrian Dennis/AFP/Getty Images)

However, considering that the first (and still only) time I tried skiing I fell dozens of times and still have not mastered the art of "stopping," I would probably be disqualified.

But, oh, what a spectacular DQ it would be.

Imagine spectators, photographers, timekeepers, other skiers, small rodents and IOC officials all diving out of my way while I hurtle down the slope, only to be stopped when I run into a well-placed restaurant — or chicken coop, for added comedic effect.

That would have to make some sort of highlight (blooper) reel. And would probably hurt.

Skeleton

OK, so let's say you decided to put a crazy carpet on a steep incline covered in ice, lay on your stomach, put on a hockey helmet and launched yourself at full speed down the slope.

That's kind of how I imagine how someone invented skeleton. And to add difficulty, this individual decided to narrow the ice into a tubular track with tight turns that the rider had to navigate.

Our charismatic skeleton gold medallist Jon Montgomery says it's actually safer than hockey, but then again Jon never saw me on a crazy carpet. Many a snowman was never the same after one of my runs.

And, well, it's called skeleton! That should tip you off right away that the sport is a bit crazy.

Biathlon

You would think at first glance that many might jump at the chance to do this sport, because it combines two amazing things into one: long-distance skiing and timekeeping.

But no. Something about racing against ultra-competitive athletes with high-powered rifles on their backs just makes me uneasy. I would probably just let them all pass.

Anything with 'aerial' in the title

When I think of skiing (badly) down a slope, launching myself directly upward into the air is the last thing that I want be doing.

Yet aerialist competitors choose to do this! And then they go and perform crazy flip turns for added effect.

You want to know what I would be doing if I was up there? Probably flailing my arms and legs around in a desperate attempt to keep myself upright and perpendicular to the ground.

I'm pretty sure screaming would also be involved.

And finally, we come to...

Doubles luge

A picture says a thousand words. (Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images)

This gets on the list because, well, anyone secure enough to race like that deserves a lot of praise. And extra medals.

I don't know which I would be more afraid of: Hurtling down a track at speeds reaching 140 kilometres per hour ... or, um, awkward "shifting."

See accompanying picture for more clarification. 'Nuff said.