Our next Olympics will have 26 cauldrons ...

Last Updated: Saturday, February 13, 2010 | 5:58 AM ET

By Brandon Hicks, CBC Sports

OK, there's one, two, three...uh oh. (Dimitar Dilkoff/AFP/Getty Images)

You can't deny that the opening ceremony for the Olympic Games in Vancouver on Friday was unabashedly Canadian and an overall success.

But that didn't stop some awkward moments from creeping into — OK, smashing down the door of — the elaborate affair.

Here are a few that stuck out:

Moment No. 1: Bleeding Gums Murphy does O Canada

Nikki Yanofsky sings O Canada -- the extended version. (Harry How/Getty Images)

Credit to CBC colleague Tony Care for the Simpsons reference. If you've seen that episode of the venerable cartoon, you know that Bleeding Gums Murphy did a soulful rendition of the U.S. national anthem before the Springfield Isotopes baseball team took the field.

It lasted 26 minutes, while a tired-looking Simpsons clan (except for Lisa) tried to remain standing at attention.

For a time, Nikki Yanofsky's version of O Canada early in the ceremony threatened to break that record.

It didn't. But people standing at attention in the stands or at home were probably wishing they had stretched beforehand.

Moment No. 2: For the love of God, Ashley, keep your legs down!

At one point it looked as if the ceremony was about to be hijacked by a mob of unseemly ladies and gents with threatening haircuts and grungy-looking garb.

But then I looked closer and realized that they were wearing kilts and carrying fiddles and tap shoes, and realized that undoubtedly the most awesome part of the event was about to take place because there were now approximately 200 punk fiddlers on stage.

And I was right. But I couldn't enjoy it as much as I liked.

That's because I was too busy worrying that fiddler extraordinaire Ashley MacIsaac would fail to keep his legs down. I was beyond positive he was going "regimental."

If you know something about Scottish culture, you were probably worried about the same thing. Normally, Scottish men who sport kilts at important functions wear them in "the old style." Tighty-whiteys need not apply.

You can see how this would be a problem, especially because Ashley was getting "really into" his lunges and kicks.

It's probably the first time I have wished I didn't have HDTV.

Moment of Triumph: 2 cauldrons. At the same time.

And then there was the lighting of the cauldron.

(But first, a little aside, considering a question VANOC must've posed two years ago: "How do we top Beijing's opening ceremony?" Answer: "Two cauldrons. Bam. Twice as awesome." Sound of clapping is heard in the background.)

Here is a play-by-play of what happened from my point of view, in more-or-less chronological order:

• Four people entered the arena with the flame — speedskating great Catriona Le May Doan, NBA star Steve Nash, skiing legend Nancy Greene Raine and Wayne Gretzky, who did some sort of hockey thing a while back.
• The four were supposed to light four pillars that were going to rise as one and set the cauldron in the middle aglow.
• I say "supposed to," because — in what is now being labelled as a horribly timed case of performance anxiety — Le May Doan's pillar failed to rise, forcing her to stand awkwardly as the three other torch-bearers lit up.
• My thought at that moment: "Aaaand that's it. …No wait, where the heck's Gretzky going??? Wayne, come back! Don't go!"
• Gretzky steals his Olympic torch. He jogs to the exit. TV camera fixes on sliding doors as The Great One seems to get stuck waiting for an elevator on the way out of the stadium. Good thing it wasn't rush hour... (Geoff Howe/Canadian Press)
• That's when No. 99 jumped onto the back of a waiting white truck. In the pouring rain.
• Gretzky learns what traffic is like in Vancouver as he stood awkwardly in the bed of the slow-moving truck for 10 minutes while trying to hold a smile as he and his torch are soaked in the rain.
• We still don't know where he's going or what he's doing with his torch — one guy in the office opines that Gretz might be headed back to Atlantic Canada.
• That's when we learn what we saw in BC Place was only a cauldron doppelganger , which did not fool Gretzky as he headed to the real cauldron in another part of town.
• Gretzky then lights the permanent cauldron, restoring order to the land and setting off fireworks, cheering, tears and joy. He still doesn't have an umbrella.

I have it on good authority that if/when Toronto gets the Olympics, we will light about 26 cauldrons that will require the help of 2,435 athletes, politicians and TV personalities. You will probably be able to see it from space.

Brandon Hicks is a senior writer for CBCSports.ca. He still thinks his submission to VANOC to have someone travel by hovercraft to light the cauldron in the ocean after being launched from a catapult was better than what they eventually came up with.