Never fear, the Zamboni is here!
Last Updated: Wednesday, February 17, 2010 | 7:44 AM ET
By Brandon Hicks, CBC Sports
Fed up with malfunctions of the Olympia ice resurfacer, right, VANOC brought in a Zamboni from Calgary via flatbed truck to do the rest of the flooding for speedskating events at the Olympic Oval. (Peter Dejong/Associated Press)If you have been watching long-track speedskating in the last few days, one image probably comes to mind:
Angry coaches wildly gesticulating at arena officials as broken ice resurfacers sit lazily on a speedskating track that is quickly turning into a Slip 'N Slide.
Yes, electric Olympia resurfacers have taken centre stage at the Richmond Olympic Oval, for all the wrong reasons.
The first two days of competition at the Oval were highlighted not by thrilling races, but by machine breakdowns.
On Sunday, one resurfacer malfunctioned while flooding the ice during a break in the women's 3,000 metres. It continued to flood the finish line, creating a rough patch and causing a delay in the race.
But if you thought that was bad, Machine Malfunction 2: The Revenge, was worse.
It happened Monday night during the men's 500 metres. One resurfacer broke down during a flood. Crews frantically started up a second one to continue flooding while repairs were done on the first one.
And that's when the second one broke down. Cue angry gesticulating coaches.
Meanwhile, a third resurfacer (seriously) arrived on the scene to finish flooding the ice, which was now looking more and more like it was the site of a mountaineer's parade, spiked boots and all.
After an hour and a half, frustrated speedskaters finally got back on the ice to finish the race. It was a scene that the New York Times aptly called Keystone Kops on Ice.
But have no fear! The Zamboni is here!
Here comes the cavalry
Fed up themselves with the malfunctions, VANOC called in the heavy artillery Tuesday, bringing in a Zamboni from Calgary via flatbed truck (which I'm assuming was escorted by F-16s and Humvees) to do the rest of the flooding for the speedskating events at the Oval.
"I realize they wanted to make a green Games [with the Olympia models] ... but Zambonis in the past have worked for years and years and years," Canadian speedskater Kyle Parrott told The Canadian Press.
And they have become a quintessential part of the entire hockey rink experience! So much so, in fact, that Zamboni had to issue a press release after the ice resurfacer breakdowns to clear its good name:
"This past weekend, the ice resurfacing equipment at one of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games apparently malfunctioned and was unable to perform its resurfacing task. These machines were not manufactured by the Zamboni Co.
"A few media outlets have published inaccurate information regarding those machines, associating the Zamboni brand name with the malfunctioning ice resurfacers."
Looks like some people seem to have forgotten one unwavering fact:
Zambonis don't break down. People do.
More facts on one of the greatest creations known to mankind:
Zamboni Profile
- Height: 3.91 metres
- Length: 5.03 metres
- Width: 2.13 metres
- Weight: 3,937 kg (with a full load of water, which is what really matters)
- Factor of Awesome: 14.7 Death Stars
Zamboni Fun Facts
- Every time a goal horn blows, a broken-down Zamboni gets its wings.
- Zambonis can outrun Ferraris. They just choose not to.
- The water flooded on the ice by a Zamboni has the ability to repel vampire attacks.
- Zambonis are the leading cause, as well as the leading cure, of global warming.
- Scientists have proven that people who start to drive Zambonis gain the ability to mediate many conflicts and are able to fire bolts of lightning out of their eyes.
- Zambonis only need to travel 22 miles an hour to activate a flux capacitor.
- When five Zambonis are in close proximity to each other, they can combine to create a walking robot called "Zambtron" that, well, still floods ice. But really fast.
- When heading into hostile territory, a Zamboni is Chuck Norris's preferred mode of transportation. Now you know.
This is only a partial list. Feel free to add your Zamboni fun facts below.
