Dear Diary: Quatchi

As imagined by Scott Stinson, National Post

Honestly, this weather is killing me. 10C and sunny outside, and I have to wear these earmuffs everywhere. At least Miga can loosen the scarf a little. I guess I shouldn't complain too much, though, since for the last few days it was raining all the time. The fur can get a little ripe when it's wet, as Sumi was only too happy to point out.

Bit of an awkward moment today when the gang and I were at yet another event for one of the Olympic sponsors. The wine and cheese had been served, and we were milling about with all the members of the Olympic "family" and what have you, when all of a sudden it was announced that there would be a moment of silence. Everyone stops and bows their heads. I, of course, cannot bow my head. Or stop smiling. Or remove the earmuffs, as I've noted. As I say: Awkward!

My heavens, have you seen the pants on these Norwegian curlers? We saw them the other day during a practice session and just figured they were wearing them on a lark, or because they lost a bet or something. (Norwegian curlers are crazy for gambling, I hear.) But no, those are their actual curling pants! Crazy loud colours and a funky diamond pattern! Miga and Sumi and I were at the rink the other day and just burst out laughing when we saw them wearing them in competition. And then we remembered that none of us actually wears pants. So embarrassing. The Norsemen may have wacky pants, but at least they have their dignity.

Things got a little heated over lunch today, and not just because of the weather and these fricking earmuffs. Miga said she was on eBay and saw that people were selling plastic likenesses of us that apparently are toys with something called "Happy Meals." Miga was bragging about how hers was selling for more than Sumi's and before you know it the gloves were off. (Not literally; we don't actually have gloves.) Anyway, my likeness is totally the best. I'm a Sasquatch, international man of mystery. You think kids want to play with a Sea Bear or a Thunderbird? "Hi, I'm a Sea Bear and I'm totally made up!" Please.

Maybe I'm just cranky because it's the end of a long week, but if I hear that I Believe song one more time today I'm going to throttle someone. Just saying.