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Posted by Mark Heese | Aug 27, 08 02:51 PM

I cut myself shaving the other morning. I lost concentration as my mind had wandered to (what else?) beach volleyball, and the Men's Olympic final that I had stayed up to watch the night before. I was thinking about Phil Dalhausser, the American who basically put on a blocking clinic against the Brazilians to clinch gold for him and his partner Todd Rogers.

Just after I cut my chin, and had finished cursing the new shaver and razor blades I was using, I realized the funny connection between my shaving incident and that Gold Medal. You see, the shaver and razor that I was using, had been given to me by Phil Dalhausser himself, when we stayed at his place during a spring training camp in California. He was sponsored by the razor company and had plenty of giveaways, so as any gracious host with a closet full of sponsor swag would do, he threw some free shaving gear our way.

I found it interesting that at the very moment I was thinking of Phil, and how great he played at such an important time, that I cut myself with the very razor that he gave me. Coincidence? Probably. Significant? Well, probably not. The truth was, I was up most of the night thinking of the match, and was lost in thought over it, even the next morning. And I'm probably just looking for any connection to that gold medal just to ease the disappointment of not having a chance to play for it myself.

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Posted by Mark Heese | Aug 5, 08 04:44 PM

I can’t seem to get the Olympics out of my head. Despite officially not qualifying for Beijing, I still find myself daydreaming about what could have been.

Even today, as I was driving up to cottage country, following behind my wife’s minivan, I saw the Olympic “rings.” Well, not the real rings, but it was hard not to notice the rings-like formation that the bicycle tires made on the back of the van ahead of me. There they were, metres ahead of my windshield – the rings. The bikes were tilted and secured in such a way that it made a symmetrical configuration for me to stare at for the whole 90-minute car ride.

I found it ironic that even after officially being out of the Olympic race, I still found myself chasing the rings, like a rabbit chasing a carrot. As they dangled a consistent distance from my car, I spent much of the trip thinking about how close we were to reaching them.

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Posted by Mark Heese | Jul 29, 08 02:26 PM

It’s over. I sat on the side of the court for more than half an hour, after losing our last Olympic qualifying match in Marseille, France, trying to accept the fact that the dream of making the Beijing Olympics, was actually over.

It was, and still is, a new feeling for me to get used to. Having made the last three Olympics, and having experienced so much as a beach volleyball athlete, it is hard to get used to the concept of not accomplishing what I had set out to do.

Yes, I have experienced Olympic disappointment, falling short of my Olympic gold aspirations three times, settling for bronze in 1996, and finishing 5th place in 2000 and 2004. But not even making it to the Games this time is taking that disappointment to the next level.

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Posted by Mark Heese | Jul 17, 08 02:22 PM

History has a funny way of repeating itself. Four years ago I found myself in a very similar situation. After two years of Olympic qualifying events, it came down to the last event in Spain, weeks before the Athens Olympics.

My former partner John Child and I were vying for the last Olympic spot against the Estonians and Russians. We clutched out some big wins, one of them against Estonia, to clinch an Olympic berth.

This time around, my new partner and I find ourselves neck and neck with teams from Japan, China and France. As in 2004, we need to grind out some victories in this last qualifying tournament to make it to the Games.

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Posted by Mark Heese | Jul 2, 08 10:06 AM

Our coach, John May, flew to Europe to save the day, but as it turned out he should have saved his money.

The plan was simple. He would come work his usual magic and help inspire us to a top-ten finish at the latest Olympic qualifying event in Norway, catapulting us into an Olympic berth. However, in our first match of the tournament, I hurt my shoulder, and in the process hurt our chances of making it to Beijing.

Heading into the event we were ranked 25th, one ranking spot out of an Olympic berth, with only the top 24 in the world making the Olympic cut. Despite the injury, we somehow survived the first day of elimination rounds, advancing to Day 2 and pool play. We needed to win at least one match against one of the teams in our pool: China (5th), Germany (11th) or Austria (18th).

“We need a spectacular performance,” our coach said, anticipating that one or both of us could summon the courage to deliver just that, even with the distraction of my wonky shoulder. And for a while, we started to believe that we could.

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Posted by Mark Heese | Jun 24, 08 08:20 AM

The focus on results and Olympic ranking points and all the darn numbers that will determine whether my partner Ahren Cadieux and I will make it to Beijing can get distracting.

Sometimes I wish it would all go away so I can focus on my matches, and enjoy the game for the game itself, rather than the significance of the points each victory brings and how it relates to qualifying for the Olympics. A few weeks ago I made a pact with myself that I would focus less on the points and avoid checking the updated rankings after every match to see where I stand.

However, even though I have been better at keeping my mind off the numbers, others constantly bring it up in conversation. Whether I'm at dinner with the other players, or walking by one of the press delegates, or chatting with local fans, people want to know how the Olympic points race is going.

They'll ask things like, "So, do you think you will get enough points to be in the top 24 in order to qualify?" Or, "What result do you need this week to improve your rank?" Or, "How close are you to the cutoff?" It gets a tad annoying.

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Posted by Mark Heese | Jun 16, 08 04:52 PM

If you have been a regular visitor to this site, you should be getting a good feel for what it's like to be a Canadian athlete in an Olympic year. Excitement, heartbreak, passion, humour, focus, resilience and tension all describe the athletes' experiences that I have had the pleasure of reading so far.

What I find most interesting is that every athlete's situation, attitude, and approach is different. There doesn't seem to be any one formula for becoming an Olympic athlete. In fact, what seems to make the journey to the Olympics so fascinating is that the athletes must carve their own paths, which means they have their own special stories to tell.

The athlete bloggers are in the final stages of either preparing to compete in Beijing having already qualified, or still on the journey to determine if they will go or not.

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Posted by Mark Heese | May 18, 08 09:05 PM

I used to think that the reason I played sports was to satisfy my hunger for competition. I always looked for ways to outdo the neighbourhood kids in order to be the best. I began dreaming of becoming the best in Canada, representing Canada at the Olympics and winning an Olympic medal.

I was fortunate enough to live out that dream. With my former partner, John Child, I became part of the best beach volleyball team in Canada, went to the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, and won a bronze medal.

But, I was struggling with it. Part of me was very pleased, reaching the goal that our team had set out to do, but another part of me was a bit confused – sad even. Here I was receiving an Olympic medal and all I kept thinking was, "This is it? This is the feeling I was after all these years?"

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