Your View - Newfoundland and Labrador

Sonya was my cousin and I loved her dearly. There are no words to describe what I am feeling. You look for answers anywhere from anyone but you sadly know that there are likely never to be any and that isn't fair.This whole tragedy isn't fair. There's a small ounce of comfort knowing that when we look into Kaidens eyes we will see her shining through. We will forever miss you!
Love Crystal

What can be said except this is just another evediance of a society beginning to reap what it sowed allowing voilence filled media and a cheap view of all life. This young Mom did not deserve this nor did her family. Let me say too this young man once a bundle of positive potential reached a place of dispair and anger that consumed him.I belive there is more to this kind of crime then we want to belive. What causes the human spirit to become so enraged it abandons it self to the relm of the dark side. It was tragic and yet sadly it was not the first time it ever happened in our province and without great social and spiritual change in the hearts of men and women, it will not be the last. Our condolences to the hurting families and a special little boy

Sonya lived in my community and my sister knew her very well.I started a facebook group in her memory,and Sonya will never be forgotten by any of us.Sonya is Kaiden's guardian angel and she will never let go of him..

I agree with 'Bill' that we are reaping what we sow. We have become so desensitized to violent acts via the media that real violence is slowpy creeping into what has always been a peaceful, safe and secure environment. I also feel that more focus needs to be placed on Violence against Woman here in this province. The increasing number of cases begs for a revisiting fo rthis issue. This story is so sad and extremely disturbing. I live only 30 minutes away from where this crime took place, it is hard to believe a life was taken so needlessly. I pray for the family.

I am saddened and angered by this young women's death and of course for her child who will grow up motherless in a world where maternal care is vital.
But I am not surprised that a women has been killed. I am from the north east coast and domestic assaults and violence are common place. just ask the RCMP what most of their calls are for in the Twillingate/ NWI area. We as women and as global citizens must rise up, speak up against this violence. Education in schools for all children will help....but also neighbors and friends sometimes know these things are happening, people must talk. silence increases the violence. Let Sonya's death not be in vain. we must promote change and get to the deeper issues of her horrific killing.
She did not deserve this. May there be justice for her in the other life.

Our increasing violent crime rate is one of THE most critical issues facing us today. In recent years it seems that every few months a murder / suicide takes place and almost without exception the first "act" is against a woman.

I will admit that for a portion of those acts, prevention is not possible. However...........while Stephen Harpers government cut funding to womens shelters and other worthwhile community associations.......while the chief justice of our province says the critical lack of infrastructure in our legal system is preventing criminals from being prosecuted and incarcerated......while our justice minister says its not my jurisdiction, it is Ottawas responsibility.........while our minister of finance sits and watches his debt ticker rack up higher numbers..........women are being battered, beaten, and murdered.

How many women have been abused (physically and mentally)and murdered while we have been totally consumed by a broken promise that was made in the heat of a political election campaign? A new courthouse is being built in the ministers riding but what about elsewhere? Since we are striving to be masters of our own destiny, why are we passing the buck to Ottawa on some issues relating to our legal system?

I do congratulate the Williams government on the initiatives they have taken to curb violence. However, this government can do far more and we should never let them sit back and 'admire" accomplishments.

I am saddened by yet another tragic loss to our youth. How can our political leaders stand by and do nothing about domestic violence. Our youth need to have a place to reach out and get help. There is not enough programs or manpower in our school systems to teach our youth about the impact of bullying and domestic violence. We need to take some of the money that we reap from Oil, Alcohol, gambeling and other sources and start up programs that can offer help and avoid this kind of disaster. How many death will it take for us to wake up! My heart goes out to all the families that have lost love ones to this sort of madness.

I am so angered by this. There was no need for this to happen. Now that little boy is without his mother. It's just to terrible to imagine.

This is such a terrible tragedy and there are no words that can lessen the horrific nightmare quality surrounding the families. My thoughts and prayers go out to the families and friends. Summerford is my hometown and I feel that I am in shock even though I am miles away and didn’t know the victim personally.
I am hoping that it will open the eyes of the many young women. No one is immune to violence and while many suffer quietly and survive, they need to realize it just takes once… just a few seconds of rage to end their life and that it could be their body someone finds next time. I truly believe that the warning signs of behavior and mental instabilities within relationships should be taught in schools, before kids begin the dating scene. We teach about sex, STD, and birth control but we don’t equip our kids to recognize behaviors and attitudes early in a relationship that could warn of deeper issues. Guys need to recognize that their attitudes of control and possessiveness can develop into something much more aggressive. Girls also need to have their eyes wide open to know that even verbal abuse can end violently. If you are just dating someone and they swear on you, call you names, talk down to you, or won’t let you do something or see certain people, or won’t let you hang up on them and just keep calling back…. This is all abuse! Get out while you can. Just break it off and get all the family, friends, or outside support that you need. Don’t give second chances to anyone. There is no relationship worth living in abuse and certainly not worth dying for. Don’t become another statistic!! As statistics shows that the majority of abusers are men, I do not mean to discriminate and should your situation be reversed, the advice applies to you as well. No one deserves abuse!

I am a well-educated, professional woman. Nobody would have ever believed that somebody as out-spoken, confident, intelligent and self-sufficient as me could fall victim to abuse. But I did.

It started with names and put-downs. It evolved to financial control. From there, it went to social control. Even my weight and when I showered was controlled. When my young son became a witness to one of the first violent episodes, I knew it was time to leave. I believe, had I stayed, I could well be in a body-bag myself.

Leona speaks the truth. Girls need to know that jealousy does not equate to love. Name-calling does escalate to violence. Needing to know where you are at all times, will lead to controlling where you are at all times.

Listen to someone who's been there. Me.

I cannot believe this has happened. This is a place where you can sleep with your door unlocked, well I guess not anymore! Sonya was a wonderful person, loving and outgoing. She was loved by all the knew her, and above all of this, she was a wonderful mother, who loved her son with all her heart, and she loved him! He was her world! I can't even describe the greif we are all going through. We will miss Sonya everyday for the rest of our lives. Rest in Peace hunny!! We love you!

I lived in New World Island most of my life. I moved to Alberta 1 and 1/2 years ago and I have found myself constanly talking about "the best place on earth"- my home. Of course it still is, but I can hardly conprehend such a violent thing happening in NWI. It's unheard of. Sonya was a great girl, and I know there is nothing I can say to help ease the pain of all my friends who are grieving so much and her family of course. I hope they all know I am thinking of them from afar.

I agree with Crystal...silence indeed increases the violence! Neighbours looking the other way, friends pretending things are alright but gossiping secretly.... if you care for someone and you know these things are happening... ACT!

I am deeply sadened and angry by the horrible death of sonya and the fact that this could happen in my home town.
At one time,(yr,2000) i lived in that same appartment as sonya.i felt so safe in my home town, didnt even have to lock my door cause i grew up there i knew everyone and everyone knew me. like a family.
I remember when i last lived in summerford, couple yrs ago. almost everyday
id see sonya and lucas(foo) walking towards virgin arm,, and with the same beautiful smile as everyday, when i ask her how her baby was, shed smile,,, so proudly. sonya was a very nice young girl who didnt deserve to be taken away from kaiden and her family.
i also knew cody, as my mom is from virgin arm.this is very difficult for anyone who knows these two people to even think this could happen is unthinkable.
i know maybe some people may think of cody as a violent man now, but what i saw in cody was a nice young guy, nice to talk to,, ive had a few confersation with cody and never once was he violent, as matter of fact,, wed all just laugh and joke around.
my heart goes out to both families. and i know that sonya is in a better place, shes looking down at us,, with that beautiful smile of hers,,and not only a beautiful mom to kaiden, but now is, his guarden angel.
my heart goes out to the rogers family and the burt family.

MY heart and the hearts of so many broke when hearing the terrible news of the death of a young mom in a small community. We all think and believe it can't happen but you can't be to sure these days.
"Yes" there needs to be more awareness of abuse!!
May the families, friends, and exspecailly little kaiden know there are many people's thoughts and prayers with you all.

God is watching over you all and may you find peace in knowing that will live through her boy now and she is his angel(a morther's LOVE can't be lost)

Frist I,d like to pass on my sympathies to the rogers family,I,m so sorry for your loss.
But for Mr Harvey to use this space at this time in this venue to make his Liberal views known as he has in the past is pathic

It doesnt matter where something like this happens. It is something that should never happen anywhere. It cant always be somewhere elese. I was shocked knowing how sweet and quiet Kody was. I think we should really question why a young guy capable of doing something like this was not getting help, since he was obviously sick. I dont hate Kody. I hate what he has done , but I just feel so sorry for his family too. Also Sonya was one of the most loved people I knew. I'm happy to have known her. Now the Daddy has to step up and make sure he gives that little boy 100 % of his attention and love , your son will need it now Lucas. My thoughts are with everyone at this time. Especially Kayden.

When I heard of this story, I was so saddened for this family, but so relieved that I managed to escape what would have been my fate too.
Like BD, I too am an educated, smart, outgoing person, who would have taken on the devil at one point in my life. Enter a controlling, manipulative abuser....exit the vivacious girl who loved life. These men have an uncanny ability to destroy one's self esteem and self-worth. After one particular incident, I fled to Iris Kirby House. I was told that unless he had physically harmed me in front of my child, and unless I could prove this, that he would still retain his parental rights in the event of a separation, and would likely get a 50% custody arrangement if he chose to fight for it. Knowing that I had no proof, and honestly believing that nobody would believe me, I went back...and I think that is why the majority of women go back. The thought of leaving our precious children with these men, even for every 2nd weekend strikes terror in us like we have never known. Eventually, the relationship ended, and I lived in fear for quite some time. He has not bothered me, but has not supported us either. To all women living in these situations; There are many of us out here, who know & understand how difficult it is. We know how intimidating the thought of going into a court room and telling your story is. Unfortunately, it is something that has to be done. You HAVE to get out. Make a plan, have everything documented, and with the assistance of family & friends, get out. Do not go to live on your own. Stay with someone else. These men are just big cowards who only prey on the weaker, smaller people. They wouldn't dare take on a man or a group of people.
The only thing that will stop this is new legislation; legislation that will stop these abusive excuses for men from retaining their parental rights.

I was saddened to hear of this awful tragedy. Summerford is my home town and its a shock to think something like this could ever happen it just isnt right and should never happen. What ever happened to being safe in such a small town? Its really to bad that such a wonderful young girl had to die such an awful death. She was a daughter, cousin, friend, and a wonderful mother and it should have never happened. Theres no words to explain how this makes me feel. It makes me realize we take advantage of to many things in life and tomorrow it may be all taken from us. My heart goes out to the family and especially for Kaiden who has to live without his mommy. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys during this horrible time in your lives.

Men can and must stop violence against women. When the government cut funding to vital women's programs (that same government that happens to promote itself as being comprised of good,and pious, followers of the Faith,) and yet made those cuts with a healthy surplus in the financial coffers, I believe that government must also take some responsibility for these deaths.Cutting funding has left women in danger with no where to go,no financial resources, no way of knowing who or where to go for help, very little way of knowing what their rights may be.Why is the person responsible for those cuts not being taken to task here? Another man killed his female friend and then killed himself.Fathers are killing their daughters. One this week was just a baby.These men have committed despicable, cowardly acts. It is called control and domination, and I believe it starts with organized religion. It starts with men thinking and believing and being taught, that they have some sort of divine authority over women. It starts with the story of Adam and Eve, that women must suffer for Eve having been disobedient.(Is forgiveness not applicable to women?) The Bible puts more value on a male child than a female child. In my opinion, religious leaders need to consider what they are actually teaching.The Bible was written by people after all. As far as I am concerned, organized religions that promote the oppression of women, by doing so perpetrate violence against women and it is long past time to make changes.

This should never have happened...I didn't know Sonya personally, but I feel so saddened by it all. I agree 100% with an earlier post, that young, pre-adolescent women should be taught the warning signs of unhealthy relationships. However, what we must really do is challenge the behaviour of the aggressor in a relationship, and not at all blame the victim; not in ANY way.

No words spoken will ease the pain of Sonya's family. My thoughts are with little Kaden; he must know how much his mom loved him, and be surrounded by a supportive family who will get him any help he needs. Thinking of you little guy.

I am deeply sadden by this tragedy on New World Island, as I lived there for a number of years and know that they are good people who live there ,my heart and prayers go out to the family and friends of this young woman.God bless.

To Disbelif........ like others to this post I stated facts. People in positions of power(PC, Conservative, Liberal, NDP) have to be made accountable for their actions. So far their actions have been to either abdicate responsibility or ignore it and hope it goes away.

I am neither Liberal, PC, Conservative or NDP. I am man who is concerned about violince against women and feel it is about time ALL of us made sure it is no longer swept under the carpet and our elected officials get off their asses and do something!

"Disbelief" If you think my position is 'political" so be it. I am not about to appologize to someone who posts here by using a nic-name.

I never knew Sonya, I wish I had. I am very sorry for her, her son and her family, as I am Kody's family. I, like Robyn Noel knew Kody as such a sweet and kind boy. He and Sonya will be missed deeply, maybe instead of political fighting, (since he was not a violent, abusive man previously), we should worry about getting people with a sickness help. Not one soul in the community thought that he would have done such a thing. My heart hurts for everyone in the towns as they too, are all victims to a loss of 2 precious souls. Things will never be the same there.

Doesn't anybody care about the life of the young man??? Everybody is talking about what should have been done to prevent this from happening to the young woman. What about what should have been done to prevent this from happening to this young man. Obviously he was sick and something should have been done to help him and prevent this from happening. Don't you think that his parents and family are suffering just as much as her parents and family? Don't you think that his parents have asked themselves over and over "Where did I go wrong?" "Was there something I could have done to prevent this from happening?" "Was there a cry for help that I missed?" I'm sure that they have asked themselves that over and over again, and will continue to ask that. It is an awful tragedy that these family's are left to mourn the loss of two precious lives.

J. Harvey - While I can understand your anger and position that the government has to do something about this situation and those like it, I have to say that the government and the justice department become involved only once something has happened.

Domestic abuse is something that begins, and all too often ends tragically, without any clue that it is happening, except to those inside the house.

It is a societal issue that can only be addressed at the grass roots level. Take, for instance, my situation. My ex-husband grew up in a house where his father abused his mother. He hated his father with a vengeance. But history repeated anyway.

He turned out just like his father, worse actually. Now I have a son, who for the first 10 years of his life, was exposed to much the same thing that my ex was exposed to. The difference is that I found the strength to leave, his mother did not.

Now my son refuses to see his father. When I ask why (although I must admit I'm relieved) he tells me it's because he doesn't want to be like him, and he's afraid that the more time he spends with him, the more likely that is to happen.

When my current partner first moved in with us, my son said "Mom, Joe doesn't call you anything except sweetheart or honey or darling". It's sad that that was such a marked departure from what he was used to, that he felt compelled to comment on it.

So, I'm constantly watching my son, making sure that he expresses anger in a healthy way, doesn't downgrade others, has healthy social interaction with both boys and girls, an generally shows none of the character traits that I'm so horribly familiar with. So far, so good.

I agree with wendy and j,, as cody didnt have any sign of abuse,, aswell, they werent dating seriously. like i said in my past post,i have never seen cody violent, and ive seen him alot in the pass, just a sweet, quiet guy .both, were beautiful people.
I know it can happen anywhere, but when it strikes home,,where I have an enormous amount of relatives,its heartbreaking and unbelievable.
I love my home town, summerford, and virgin arm,its a beautiful place with alot of beautiful people.and i know most people out there. when anything happens like this in my home town,,it hurts.
may god bless you kaiden, and lucas,sweetie,I know you have what it takes to do your best for kaiden.
And again, my hearts goes out to both families.

Like every one else I am totally in shock about what has happened in my community.I am from Virgin Arm and knew both Sonya and Cody.I only meant Sonya a couple times but she was a very friendly and happy person,I knew Cody for alot of years and never thought that he could be capable of violence.He was always very quiet and respectful.Like everyone else all I can do is wonder how this could happen,how a quiet young man could take the life of a beautiful woman and then his own life.My heart goes out to both familys and especially little Kaiden,who now has to grow up without his mom.My thoughts and prayers goes out to both familys.R.I.P Sonya and Cody.

Iris kirby House is a shelter in st. john's for women and children who are living with abuse. please call if you need help. Shelters are beautiful, safe places to stay while you get your life back on track. Children love it there, women often bond and together find strenght in each other. The house is really nice, many people don't realize how the system can work for them. Call 753-1492, check out the web site, there is other shelters in newfoundland and labrador. Google Iris Kirby House and you will get information.

SONYA WAS MY BEST FRIEND! WORDS CANNONT DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL. THERE IS NOT ONE MOMENT OF THE DAY SHE IS NOT IN MY THOUGHTS. I THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE SHARED FROM GRADE 4 TO CHRISTMAS 2007. A BIG PLACE IN MY HEART, AND IN OUR GROUP OF FRIENDS IS MISSING. I THANK GOD FOR KAIDEN, HE WILL REMIND ME OF MY BEST FRIEND, AND AS CRYSTAL MENTIONED WHEN WE LOOK INTO KAIDENS EYES WE WILL SEE HER (OUR BEST FRIEND) SHINING THROUGH.

Sonya was my beautiful niece and my heart is broken and will never be mended.It's all that is on my mind before i go to sleep and when i wake up,and to think that little Kaiden is left without his mommy just rips my heart apart.My heart breaks for Marilyn, Almon and Tara.
As Bev says if you are in this type of relationship PLEASE contact the Iris Kirby House, don't let amother family be left with this heart ache.

This could have been me. I was a victim of domestic violence. I finally got away. went to shelter. My ex was charged with arson and assault both part of the same incident after months of investigations.

The matter dragged on for over 2 and half yrs. All we wanted was to get the justice so we could bring closure to the matter and finally heal and move on for good.To no longer have to live in fear. He was convicted of the arson but got off with the assault. This has been very hard to swallow and it is difficult to accept the judge's comments that while he beleived both happened, there were too many circumstances and events surrounding it all for him to not have doubts about convicting for the assault. so....prooving the assault happened in and of itself just wasn't enough. We are devistated after everything we went through that he got off on the more important of the two charges and are having great difficulty accepting it. All those involved in the case are just as shocked as me and my family are that he was convicted only on the arson charge.

We are left feeling like victims all over again, with a helpless feeling of nowhere to turn no one to talk to...I want to be heard and my story be told. Becuase I beleive the justice system is letting woman down and not protecting them enough in the area of domestic violence. Women are being left to remain victims by the justice system and not given the oppotunity to become survivors or to be remembered when they don't survive for justice being served. This is a sad day for me and my family and I feel for all other families out there who are going through what I have.

Sonya was my niece and i will miss her every day for the rest of my life.We will all miss her.She did not deserve to die in this manner.Kaiden is a beautiful boy who will miss his mommy very much i;m sure becuase he meant the world to her as much as she meant the world to him.This family needs and covets your prayers every day for all of us espically Kaiden. Thank you for your kind comments it helps us ALL get thru this never over it but thru it.

Dear J,

sorry, I'm not "feeling it" towards the boy who visciously murdered my cousin. If you only knew the half of what he did to her you'd choke on your words.

Kelly