An American study showed that 115 children were abducted (and 50 tragically murdered) in the U.S. by strangers in a recent year (I believe it was 2006), with a child population of 70 million.

Statistically this works out to about a one in 1.5 million chance that an American child will be abducted and murdered by a stranger. I assume the odds are similar in Canada.

Given that the vast majority of child abductions/murders are by someone the family knows and trusts, what is your opinion on the focus police and other groups have on alerting children to the dangers of stranger abduction?

Do you feel that the benefits of such awareness outweigh both the fear and apprehension parents and children are given by such a focus, and the real danger it has of deflecting attention away from the group that commits the majority of abductions (people known to and trusted by the victim)?

Terry Smith: You are quite right that statistics show that a child has a much greater risk of being abducted, exploited or abused by someone they know than by someone they do not know. Stranger abductions in Canada are also rare; however they often end tragically which is why they get the most media attention.

While it is frustrating for us that it often takes a tragedy to remind people about safety, we welcome any chance to reinforce the “rules.” It is important to teach children safety strategies regardless of the situation they may find themselves in. Parents need to remember the goal is never to scare your child, but rather to prepare them.

My husband and I are scheduled to take our two children to Florida in July for vacation, ages 9 and 14.

What happens if one of my children go missing when we're out of the country?

Terry Smith: Regardless of where your child may go missing, your first call would be to local police. They will investigate the particulars surrounding the situation and take the lead in bringing your child back to you safely.

Should you require further assistance, say there is a language or culture concern, you may contact the local Canadian Embassy for further assistance. It is always good to travel with some basic information on your child just in case.

Our Kidcheck fingerprint identification booklet is a handy tool to have. It contains not only your child’s fingerprints for identification purposes, but also a current photo (key to any investigation!) and a complete history on your child — physical, medical, social and behavioral. This information is not specific to Canada; it is specific to your child! Therefore it is an aid to any law enforcement anywhere in the world.

Last weekend, I discovered that my 12 year old daughter and her two 11 year old friends were unsupervised while exploring a large local Ontario Regional Park, for which my daughter's friend has a pass. The friend's parents thought that it was okay for the girls to spend a couple of hours roaming the park but we were not told when we took our daughter to their house after she was invited over. There is a sizeable reservoir and forest in the park, which is a ten minute walk from their house. Although I've been hearing about the "free-range kids" approach popular with some families, we're not comfortable with it. Although I won't say anything to the other parents, I did ask my daughter to call us next time she finds that she's not going to have any adults around on an outing. Am I being overly protective?

Terry Smith: I am curious as to why you would not say anything to the other parents?

It is important that as parents we make our expectations regarding behaviour and permissiveness known to anyone who we entrust our children to. You are not telling them how to treat their child; rather you are explaining the rules in your family dynamic and how you expect them to be followed regardless of where your child is, or with whom.

Most parents would certainly understand and appreciate knowing what is deemed appropriate in your family before your child visits. Should you find that fundamentally, your views differ from them, it would be wise to not allow your child to go.

Great job in advising your daughter to let you know when she is asked to go somewhere unsupervised! She understands your family rules and that you trust her to make good decisions!

Hello,

My daughhter is 5 years old and starting Kindergarten this September. Do you recommend any safety accessories such as a panic alarm, or cell phone when she is absent from home during the day?

Terry Smith: No electronic or monitoring device can replace an open dialogue with your child. Ensure that your child knows basic safety rules. When children are first heading off to school it can be exciting, and a little bit scary for them as well!

Before school starts take a walk with your daughter so that she is familiar with the route to school or the bus stop. Point out neighbours she knows or perhaps public places, like a restaurant or store along the way. Tell her that if she gets lost or frightened a public place is a safe place to go — that an adult there will make sure she is okay.

Make sure she knows her name, address and phone number so that someone can get a hold of you. Never put identifying information on the outside of her backpack or lunch bag however, this is an open invitation to anyone to call her by name and she may incorrectly think that she knows them!

As media outlets try to lead us to believe, are children really less safe today than 5, 10, 20 or even 50 years ago?

Terry Smith: With an increase in population, and the increase in technology like the internet, children today do find that they often face issues that we didn’t face many years ago. The good news is that over the last 20 years we have made great strides in teaching kids about personal safety, so they are more AWARE than ever.

Kids know they will not be in trouble if they speak up about an uncomfortable situation; rather, it is the right thing to do!

In Ontario, what is the legal age for a child to be home alone (for a couple of hours)?

Thanks.

Terry Smith: There is no law that states at what age a child may be left home alone in Ontario. The general rule of thumb is that no child under age 10 should be left alone and that a child should be at least 12 before being allowed to supervise younger children for short periods.

Many variables come into play when deciding whether or not a child should be left unsupervised. Parents should base their decision on the maturity level of the individual child and must ensure that their child will be safe. Many 11-year-olds are mature enough to be left alone for a few hours; some 14-year-olds are not.

Logic dictates that very young children should never be left unsupervised as this would pose a danger to their physical safety.

Our daughter is 3.5 years and her sister will be 2 in September. At what age should we start talking about strangers? We are also struggling with the best age to talk to our older daughter about protecting herself from people she might know.

Echoing the other comments here, we don't want to make her afraid but recognize an ongoing discussion will need to start at some point.

Thank you.

Terry Smith: You know best the comprehension level of your daughters. Do they understand that they should look both ways before they cross the street? I always think that is a very good baseline comprehension.

Once they get that, we know they are aware of their surroundings and the consequences of their actions. If you visit our website, www.ontario.childfind.ca, you will find specific safety rules for preschoolers — a great place to start!

Why the strict restrictions on using the Amber Alert. Is it not better to be safe than sorry? I the entire time, I never understood why it was not used when Tori Stafford went missing. I would hope if my child was missing, the alert would go forward. It is painfully obvious in retrospect it would have been one more step in her recovery. What am I missing here?

Terry Smith: The Amber Alert is a police procedure with strict guidelines to ensure that it is used to the best of its ability. It is just one of many tools that law enforcement can engage when dealing with a missing child.

Its original intent, in its origins in Texas, is to involve media and community members of a current, ongoing situation. To keep this integrity, which enables it to be successful, certain criteria must be met.

In simpler terms, if an Amber Alert was issued each and every time a child went missing, with no other criteria other than a child is missing, then it would be issued over 20,000 times in Ontario alone each year!

While I can't speak for law enforcement, I can assure you that all law enforcement officers act and react with the utmost urgency whenever a child is reported missing.