Schwarzenegger says secrets caused wife Maria Shriver pain
Former Mr. Universe traces his emotional detachment to his bodybuilding days
The Associated Press
Posted: Oct 1, 2012 10:04 AM ET
Last Updated: Oct 1, 2012 11:14 AM ET
Arnold Schwarzenegger has acknowledged in his new book and in a television interview that his inability to be honest with people has hurt those closest to him, including his estranged wife Maria Shriver. (Rich Pedroncelli/Associated Press)
Arnold Schwarzenegger says his lifelong penchant for secrecy and ability to put his emotions "on deep freeze" led him to keep many secrets from his wife Maria Shriver, eventually causing the dissolution of their marriage when he was forced to admit he fathered a child with the family's housekeeper years earlier.
Throughout their strained 25-year marriage, Schwarzenegger says he did not want to tell Shriver about crucial life decisions such as major heart surgery and running for California governor because he feared she would overreact and tell her well-connected family and friends.
In his new autobiography, Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story, and in an interview Sunday on the TV news magazine 60 Minutes, the former California governor acknowledges that his inability to be honest with people has hurt those closest to him.
"That's the way I handle things. And it always has worked. But, I mean it does not — it's not the best thing for people around me because I sometimes — some information I just keep to myself," Schwarzenegger tells reporter Lesley Stahl on 60 Minutes.
The former Mr. Universe traces his detachment to his bodybuilding days, where he says emotions make athletes lose.
"So I became an expert in living in denial," says the Hollywood action star and former governor.
Shriver filed for divorce
Schwarzenegger praises Shriver throughout the book as a partner and friend who was essential to his success, but also admits to keeping her in the dark about many career decisions. Shriver filed for divorce in July.
Although he had been toying with the idea of running for governor for more than a year, Schwarzenegger waited until just days before the filing deadline for the 2003 recall election to discuss it with Shriver, writing in the book that he "didn't want endless conversation about it at home."
Shriver opposed the idea, but was persuaded to soften her stance by her mother, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, who told her to support her husband's ambitions, or he might resent her for the rest of his life. Despite that struggle, he also didn't inform her when he decided to seek a second term, writing that she had to read about it in the newspaper.
Total Recall will officially be published Monday. The Associated Press purchased an early copy.
But Schwarzenegger's biggest secret, the child he had with the family's housekeeper, became tabloid news last year after he left office. Shriver confronted her husband during a January 2011 counselling session and he finally acknowledged the boy, Joseph, was his. Schwarzenegger says he kept the secret from his wife for years because he was worried "it would get out."
He tells Stahl he never even had a conversation with the housekeeper, Mildred Baena, about the son. Instead, after he began noticing the boy's strong resemblance to him, around age 8, he just began giving Baena extra money.
"I kind of put it away and just said to myself, 'OK, I'm going to put this away. I'm going to fulfil my responsibilities,"' he tells Stahl.
Wouldn't discuss housekeeper, son
He declined to say whether he has a relationship with the child, who is now about 15, and he said he didn't want to go into any more details about his relationship with Baena because he's already caused Shriver and their four children enough pain.
"I don't want to reawaken and kind of talk about it because it's not going to help them. And I just want to protect them as much as I can," he says.
There were other deceptions, too, including a "hot affair" with Danish actress Brigitte Nielsen while filming the 1985 action film "Red Sonja," when he and Shriver were living together. He admits to other affairs, but tells Stahl they are "something that's obviously between Maria and me."
Schwarzenegger says in the interview that his marriage and his family were the most important things in his life, but he caused them tremendous pain.
"So the thing that really meant the most to me kind of fell apart because of my doing," he says in the 60 Minutes interview. "That is something that I will always look back and say, 'How could you have done that?"'
Share Tools
Top News Headlines
- Top court to reveal if it will hear Rob Ford conflict appeal
- The Supreme Court of Canada will reveal today if it will hear an appeal in a conflict of interest challenge that previously threatened to oust Toronto Mayor Rob Ford from office. more »
- B.C. First Nation sets fires to save bison
- A First Nation band is reviving the age-old practice of controlled burning in order to improve the health of forests and restore the population of the wood bison in a corner of northeastern B.C. more »
- 1 in 8 bird species threatened with extinction
- One in eight bird species worldwide faces the threat of extinction, according to a report released by Birdlife International. more »
- Obesity now recognized as a disease
- The American Medical Association has voted to recognize obesity as a disease, while doctors in Canada say they also treat it as such. more »
Must Watch
Latest World News Headlines
- 1 in 8 bird species threatened with extinction
- One in eight bird species worldwide faces the threat of extinction, according to a report released by Birdlife International. more »
- Drones used in U.S. for surveillance, FBI director says
- The FBI uses drones inside the United States for surveillance of stationary subjects, and the privacy implications of such operations are 'worthy of debate,' the agency's director says. more »
- Tropical storm Barry bears down on Mexico coast
- The U.S. National Hurricane Center says Tropical Storm Barry is bearing down on Mexico's Gulf Coast, poised to make landfall within hours. more »
- Investigation sought in U.S. plane crash missile-strike theory
- Former U.S. investigators want to reopen the probe into the 1996 crash of a Paris-bound jet off the coast of New York City, saying new evidence points to the often-discounted theory that a missile strike may have downed the flight. more »
The National
The Current
- Why Canadians get sick from tap water Jun. 19, 2013 5:11 PM Author Chris Wood believes one of the greatest threats to the health of Canadians dribbles into their homes every day from the kitchen faucet.
- Sopranos star James Gandolfini dies in Italy
- Wearing a mask at a riot is now a crime
- Dozens of children seized from Manitoba Mennonite community
- B.C. teacher duct-taped students' mouths
- B.C. First Nation sets fires to save bison
- Richmond widow racks up $1,800 hospital parking bill
- Obesity now recognized as a disease
- Bob Rae quits as MP in 'very emotional' decision
- Hail, flash floods hit southeast Alberta
