This month, while the state of Israel celebrated its 60th anniversary, I felt tremendous admiration for the Israelis and what they have accomplished. One of the world's most ancient, and hunted peoples, the Jews have survived in a region where they are surrounded by hostility. Not only have they survived, but they have also flourished, continuing the legacy of 5,000 years of Jewish contribution to the arts, medicine, science and politics.

But looking at the suffering of the Palestinians, my admiration for Israel is tainted. While Israelis celebrate their ability to survive as a nation in a tough and hostile neighbourhood, the Palestinians mourn their loss - the Nakba or "Catastrophe" that befell them in 1948.

The Israel-Palestine issue divides and polarizes like no other. No one has lukewarm feelings about this topic; everyone has strong opinions about the problems and the solutions.

My hope for a solution would be that next year, when Israelis celebrate the 61st anniversary of their state, Palestinians also celebrate the birth of theirs, a state where the indigenous Arab people of the region may also live in dignity and peacefully with their Israeli neighbours.

That would not be easy. Each side would have to be honest in the process and demonstrate much courage.

Need for compromise

Palestinians need the courage to do one very important thing - stop questioning Israel's right to exist. Israel does exist and no amount of wishing it away is going to change that. Just as the Palestinians are indigenous to the land, so are the Jews. Imams and clerics need to stop portraying Jews as if they are foreigners in Jerusalem, or an extension of European colonialism.

Many of us may not agree with Zionism, but the reality is that Zionism is the founding philosophy of Israel. Jews have longed to return to Jerusalem for well over 2,000 years, long before any Christian or Muslim walked the holy paths of Palestine.

Palestinians need to stop saying that Israel is an artificial state, and therefore doesn't have any historical right to exist. That is a toothless argument: Half the states of the Middle East are artificial constructions - this is the legacy of the colonial era. If Israel has no right to exist, then explain Lebanon and Jordan. The first was a mountain and the other a gift by the British to the rulers of Hejaz - who now claim a land called Saudi Arabia, which too is an artificial construct.

Having said that, Israel at 60 should have the wisdom to recognize that its creation displaced a people, and that today it occupies territories not its own. What Christian Europe did to its Jewish citizens during the Second World War is unforgivable, and reparations needed to be made. But, millions of Muslims and Christians of Palestine should not be made to pay for the racism and misdeeds of the Catholics of Europe or the Nazis of Germany. Palestinians are now refugees in their own land.

There is a great feeling of defensiveness among some Israelis, and they ask why they must always compromise? Why accommodate?

The reason is simple: Israel has power and is a democracy. It claims to rule by a higher standard and needs to be judged by that measure. It functions from a point of strength, and therefore it must be Israel that shows magnanimity and compassion. Ordinary Palestinians who support neither Fatah nor Hamas, should not pay for the crimes of cruel and short-sighted men who claim to represent them.

Talks need compassionate focus

I know that among Israelis and the Jewish community, some of the most open and honest intellectual dialogue focuses not only on Israeli acts of aggression, but also on those acts of compassion. Israel has opened its arms to Arab Jews of the Middle East who have been driven out of their communities.

But the Jewish state has also helped Muslims who are victims of violence. Black Sudanese Muslims who suffered at the hands not only of Arabs in Sudan, but also of their Muslim brethren in Egypt who responded to their entreaties for help by beating, abusing and throwing them out of the country, have been allowed to take refuge inside Israel.

Israel has offered shelter to the victims of modern genocides. When Bosnian Muslims looked for refuge, Israel opened its doors. But charity must begin at home. What good is Israel's compassion for the Darfuris and Bosnians, if it has none for the Palestinians?

Supporters of Israel, especially in the Diaspora need also to resist the temptation to label all critics of Israel as anti-Semites. This is not true, and does not allow for open discourse.

There is much pain and mistrust on both sides and many who doubt the wounds can ever heal. I would urge my skeptical Middle Eastern friends, Israeli and Palestinian, to look to the east.

Last year, India and Pakistan celebrated their 60th anniversaries of independence from British rule. Despite millions of lives lost in bloodshed during partition, three wars between the countries, and the looming threat of a nuclear attack just 10 years ago, the two nations celebrated this anniversary together as equals and as brothers.

When South Asians cross the border from Lahore to Armritsar to watch cricket matches together, they are met with warmth and affection. Politicians in Delhi and Islamabad may project animosity or dubious stability. But the average Pakistani and Indian, Hindu and Muslim, Christian and Sikh on the street recognize their long historical connections and the inherent humanity of the other. Perhaps one day Palestinians and Israelis will visit each other's cities to watch soccer games with similar affection.

If 60 years can begin to heal the deep-rooted wounds of Pakistanis and Indians, why can it not do the same for the Israelis and Palestinians?

The idea that one side will win over the other is archaic and childish. Co-operation and mutual respect is the only solution. The intellectual courage that needs to be exhibited among Israelis and Palestinians, to honestly look at oneself and acknowledge the flaws as well as the accomplishments, is there.

Let Israel act to ensure that next year the Palestinians celebrate the birth of a nation and end of the Nakba.