In case you think the "Stop pooping on the bike path" sign in Hampton, Illinois, is intended for dogs (dogs who can read no less), it's not. It's meant for humans.
"Animals don't carry toilet paper and then stuff it on top," Hampton’s Public Works supervisor Scott McKay told local news outlet WQAD about the two-year-long human poop plague happening right in the middle of the town's scenic and popular bike path.
"It's pretty nasty," McKay said of the path pooper (or poopers), whose motivation remains an utter mystery. There are public washrooms nearby.
"We've got enough goose crap on the bike path, let alone humans'."
The culprit has enough forethought to bring a roll of toilet paper out on the path, and yet can't make it to the nearby commode. Finally, the fed up village is demanding that for whoever is behind this public nuisance, the next time nature calls, don't answer.
Bikers and runners in this small town take full advantage of the path adjacent to the Mississippi River and have noticed the new sign.
'Never thought of... squatting on the road'
"I know on long runs sometimes people have to hold it for a while, but I've never thought of carrying toilet paper and just squatting on the road," said runner Mitchell Jankowski, who uses the path.
And just in case "Stop pooping on the bike path," seems too harsh, don't worry. The message is delivered with a dash of Midwest manners — a crossed out, smiling poo emoji. It would almost be cute if it wasn't so darn gross.
This case makes the recent hubbub over a public swearing ban in Taber, Alta., look like child's play. It's more in tune with the removal of a Saskatoon bar's washroom sign that jokingly implied men were watching women go to the bathroom.
Or say, Opera on the Avalon's billboard that promised its upcoming production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be "Filled with more fairies than St. John's on Pride Day."