Exit Interview: Liberal Mark Holland

Mark Holland's bid to represent the Ontario riding of Ajax-Pickering for a fourth term was unsuccessful on May 2, making him one of 43 Liberal MPs who won't be coming back to Ottawa when Parliament resumes.

Holland, 36, was one of the younger parliamentarians on the Hill, but he's been around since 2004. As public safety and national security critic for the Liberals in the last session of Parliament, Holland had a high profile and kept up the heat on a number of controversial issues, including the long-gun registry, the government's anti-crime bills and the G8 and G20 summits held last summer.

The Conservatives were very keen to take his seat and Holland told CBC News on Wednesday that he'll likely try and get it back in a future election. In answering a series of questions about his past political life, and a possible future one, Holland shared his advice for new MPs, his feelings about leaving and what lies ahead.

Holland answered the questions just minutes after leaving a meeting with the Liberal caucus on Parliament Hill where defeated MPs bid farewell to the re-elected ones.

(Photo: Amber Hildebrandt/CBC)

Q: What accomplishment in Parliament are you most proud of?

A: The vote on the long-gun registry.That was about a year and a half of my life. We went from thinking we had no hope, to winning even by only a couple of votes ... Seeing the caucus come together and getting a chance to work with people across the country on something we all believed was so important was really a proud moment for me and one that will really stick with me.

Q: What was a low point during your time in Parliament?

A: The low point was today. This is the low point of my political life, to see so many good people that you care about so much, lose. I thought my loss was hard, but today was really tough. These become very good friends, people you have deep and abiding connections with and to see them gone, you have a profound sense of loss. Not just that you're not going to see them as much but also that their contribution, at least for the time being, is over and I think that's a big loss for the country as well.

Q: Other than today, what was a low-point?

A: I can think of a couple of times where I thought I was going to lose and they were dark hours for a moment. I remember in the same-sex marriage debate, I was the only person on the whole east end that supported equal marriage and I thought for a time there, I was being bombarded, that that would be the end of me. That was a low moment but the reality is it was an important moment for me because it was also a moment that I realized that that's what mattered to me, that I was OK losing as long as I fought for what I cared about and what I believed. That's the blessing of moments that hit you low, is that you also get an opportunity to see what's important to you and it reinforces what matters.

Q: What is your advice for incoming MPs?

A: Don't be too quick to define yourself. This is a job that's different for every single person so it's extremely important to let time choose what kind of MP you are. It's one of the things that surprised me when I came up here, is there wasn't really anybody to tell you what you were supposed to do or what your job was and you learn after not so much time that that's because it is so very different for each person.

Q: As you leave, how do you feel about Parliament?

A: I remember coming to this place on a Gr. 8 class trip, it was my first time in these buildings, and just being filled with a sense of awe and wonder and looking at them for all the possibility they held: a place where you could change the country, a place where you could make a difference. It was a little bit hard coming up here today and looking at those same buildings and feeling pain, that the experience, maybe for now, maybe forever, is at an end. I tried to let go of that as fast as I could and reconnect with that sense of awe, because these are the same buildings, they hold the same promise. They can do fantastic and remarkable things. It's all in how you look at it. And that's a choice. I choose to look at it through the same eyes that I looked at it when I was that kid coming through here for the first time. I don't ever want that to change, because this is a remarkable place, amazing things can happen here and I can never lose sight of that.

Q: What's next for you?

A: I don't know. You take time to process what's happened and to be grateful for what you had as an experience and that's the only benefit of this long break is that you can take a genuine opportunity to reflect. I started volunteering in the party when I was 12. I'm going to continue being involved in this party but beyond that I don't know. And that's what I'm going to take some time with the people that I love to determine.

I never had a plan B. This is my life's passion, this never was a job for me. And so looking now at what I'm going to do, it has to give me that same sense of fulfillment and the sense that I'm making a difference, and I'm making a positive contribution and that's my criteria. That's the thing that's most important to me, that's the thing that drives me. It's a blessing and a curse to do something that you love and you feel you make a difference at because you don't want to do anything else.

Q: Would you run again?

A: It's hard for me to imagine that I won't run. You never know where the currents of your life will take you but this feels like an unfinished job that I've done. So I very much expect that I will be running again and that's where my head's at and my heart's at right now.

This is the first in a series of interviews with defeated MPs from the Liberals, Conservatives, NDP and Bloc Québécois.