Parents and teachers need to talk about the medical risks and emotional consequences of sex, say teenagers who define it differently than previous generations.

Educational psychology Prof. Gretchen Hess of the University of Alberta has noticed a change in teen attitudes and sexual practices over 20 years.

Sex is less personal, more casual and starting earlier, Hess said.

Amanda Bell
Amanda Bell

Health Canada reported its first study on teen sexual practices three years ago. One-third of Grade 9 students reported trying oral sex, and that went up to 53 per cent by Grade 11.

CBC News gathered a group of teenagers, aged 16 to 19, together in Edmonton to talk frankly about sex and teen culture.

Teens seem to think oral sex is not as big as sex said student Amanda Bell. "People think, 'OK, we'll start with what's little, what's not as scary.'"

Judy Hancock, health education co-ordinator, University of Alberta.
Judy Hancock, health education co-ordinator, University of Alberta.

"They think anything except full out vaginal intercourse is fine and is OK and is safe," agreed Judy Hancock, a health education co-ordinator at the University of Alberta. "So they have this misperception that oral sex is risk-free sex."

Hancock said former U.S. president Bill Clinton reinforced the misperception when he testified about Monica Lewinsky: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

Hancock, a sex counsellor, said it's almost always girls performing oral sex on boys. The girls often have regrets.

"If you de-personalize sexual activity and then you expect to have a satisfying sex life in a marriage, think again," said Hancock. "You have de-personalized sexual activity. That's not something you're going to want to do with somebody you love."

The teenagers said the problem is kids are starting too early, before they understand the emotional and medical consequences, such as how oral sex can spread sexually transmitted infections including HIV.

"You've got your 11-year-old kid going into junior high," said Eamon McGrath, a grade 12 student. "It's like, dude, they're going to be exposed to every kind of sex."

The teens said they wished there were taught about the emotional elements of sex along with the basic biology. They asked for honesty from parents and teachers, with no sugar coating or mixed messages.