Your husband has to pay a table amount of child support based on his income. He also has to pay a proportionate share of the childcare based on both of your incomes. If you make $30,000 and he makes $70,000, he will have to pay 70% of the childcare. You get to claim 100% of the childcare expenses thus giving you a large income tax return.
Until my child turned 6 his mother was pocketing $300 per year after I paid 56% of the childcare, she got $3500 back in a tax return plus $1200 from the UCCB.
She hired a babysitter who cleaned her home as well which the sitter gave one receipt for.
The federal gov’t. and I were funding her house cleaning.
I pay $9000/year in child support and child care for one child plus I buy clothes, toys, take him on trips and pay half of his extra curricular activities…sometimes all of it.
Stats Can shows the average cost to raise a child at $8000/year. I am paying more than that. So what is his mother contributing?
How are the government policies unfair? They are not fair for men.
I know some men do not pay what they owe but that is all part of picking a good spouse who is of good character that will support your family whether it is together or not.

Way to go Alana. You sound like a fantastic mother and your son is obviously benefiting from your strength and commitment and care. I have no idea how you managed at 12 hours a week but you are one strong woman for having done so. Things should only get a little easier from here on and I'm glad to read that you are now full-time. The universal child care benefit is a complete joke even if you were eligible. A lot of parents don't realize that the paultry $100 per month per child they receive is TAXABLE. So after the year's up, you very likely will have to PAY anywhere from $200 to $480 back to Harper and Co. It is a complete waste and dilution of a potential COLLECTIVE source of funds (if the government never piece-mealed it out back to us) and was put towards a Universal Child Care fund. Hopefully in the next few years we'll see this government strong-armed or disolved completely and a true universal childcare program can be brought in to Canada. In the meantime, keep up the amazing work and know your child is only benefiting from your guidance and strength and will turn out to be a fine young man with such a role model as yourself.

Oh dear - a completely one sided story. There is little I an say that won't have a lynch mob after me. Perhaps some foriveness ad cooperation - whats best for the child, not the hate and infighting and money. Would it be so horrible to reverse the care situation? Is the ex in a better situation to care for the child? Is the author prepared to adit it is not about the child, it is about the money and the control? Textbook separation.

I have to agree with Dave. I do not think that the government is necessarily unfair to women when it comes to matters of child rearing. If anything, the fathers get the worst deal, especially if they earn a living. And, in a lot of these cases, the women are bitter, so the fathers end up paying a lot of money to the mothers and then they can't even see their own kids! Where is the justice in that?

Perhaps the same can't be said for deadbeat Dads that don't bother to work. I respect the fact that maybe your ex is like that.

Truthfully, most men I know in this situation are the ones carrying the burden. I think the whole issue of child support needs to be seriously revisited. Men pay way too much.

Re: the issue of subsidized daycare, I don't necessarily agree with that. Single parents, especially ones with custody, already get a lot of tax breaks. What about us women who decide not to have a child? Where is our break? Why should we be having to pay for all the children out there? As a single woman, I pay for absolutely everything and I get no tax refunds whatsoever.

At the end of the day, a child is a CHOICE, not a given. I empathize that things may be tough for the commentator, but you know, times are tough for all of us...we just have to do the best we can. When it comes to children, both parents have to be accountable. It's not fair to expect the rest of society to pick up the slack when the going gets rough. Parents get everything in Canada, especially mothers.

I too am a single parent of a son who will turn 6 in June. Despite being on waiting lists for over a year, we did not get a daycare space when he started Kindergarten this past September. I scrambled to find private care and had to change caregivers 2 months into the school year when the first one quit with no notice. I adopted my son, so no child support or alimony will be forthcoming. The $100 Universal Child Care Benefit (which will be taxed back as Bryn pointed out) covers less than 4 days/month of caregiver fees and I receive only $37/month from that other program, whose name escapes me. I need a safe, nurturing, regulated and licensed daycare spot, not token payments. European experiences, where universal childcare is widely available, have shown that this type of system allows many more parents to enter the workforce, which would go along way towards resolving the current and future shortage of skilled workers. Boo and hiss to the Harper government for ignoring childcare in the recent budget. Very shortsighted. Alana, keep your chin up. Sounds like you're doing a great job. I hope it helps to knnow that there are people out here who sympathize with and support your position. Good luck.

I am always quite distraught whenever I hear about such a story.

As young man I feel somewhat ashamed that other men are more than willing to create excuses as to why they shouldnt support their own kid(s). Leaving the wife/mother out of the picture, leaving out how bad the divorce was, leaving out all legal crap, leaving out whether or not the kid was planed or an "accident". Is there not a moral responsibly to make sure your child is provided for?? I do honestly believe that part of being a man is to make sure that your family is provided for, to the best of your ability, and yes your biological child is still part of your family even if the law says otherwise.

So all you divorced men out there please stop hiding behind excuses and the law (which btw was most probably written by other men!!) and take care of your moral responsibility if only for the sake of your child.

I could go on and on about all the ways men in general have disgraced what being a man is all about (and I am only 25 and I realize all what it means to be a man makes me wonder how do other men much older than me not see this) and do not get me started on the government's role in all this...

Alana all the power to you and I do hope your situation changes for the better. I hope you never need to try out our medical system because of all of this..... well maybe thats a topic for another discussion....

Folks, there are emotions on all sides of this issue and I suspect that my comment may be taken for criticism.

The point I would like to make has to do with choice. The people who seem to have supported Alana's concern seem to be complaining about the foreseeable results of their own choices - costs associated with adopting a child as a single parent (Sue), costs associated with having your own child (arcadiaseeker).

Pardon me but why are you looking to me and other taxpayers to pay for your choices? I have paid for my choices in raising five kids with my wife who has been able to stay home (with home-based work).

Alana's situation is a bit more complex but, again, it was her choice to marry and have a child. If anything, there should be resources to go after her ex for support rather than for childcare.

I want you to know I've got your back. I struggled with the whole child support/custody thing and that alone was one of the hardest and most unnerving situations I've ever been through. Stay strong, I know the system is not in favour of low-income hard working people, they relly need to raise the cut-offs.

My husband and I make alright money but with two kids in childcare we are paying 1500 a month for daycare that is well over one of my paychecks.

I went to school for 5 years and I have to pay back a student loan for 600 a month while paying for childcare, after all that I have maybe 150 left.

So I work my butt off for 150 a month, I don't understand why the government won't see that making childcare public would get all these Canadian qualified women back to work, and in this day and time it is virtually impossible to live on one income.

I have so much respect for you, your strength is inspiring. Your son is so lucky to have a mother like you.

I have to disagree about that $100 a month per kid. That money even though taxable is what allows my wife to stay home with the kids. Combine that with CTB and Provincial equivalent that money is put to good use.

So my wife stays home with the kids. We do sacrifice to do that and I do feel for the single parents out there as that $100 per month doesn't come close to paying for child care but it sure does help those who choose to stay home to raise their kids.

That $100 was just enough to get us by. Had it not been there my wife would have had to go back to work full time to make that $300 a month after taxes and child care costs.

We don't need universal child care. What we need is to support parents in raising their kids. I'd really hate to see universal child care where two income families pulling in a combine 6 figure income have my tax dollars paying to raise their kids. I'm all for supporting those in need though and that's where we should focus tax spending.

Single parent families for what ever the reason need to be supported because it's the childeren how are at risk there. Help the parent in that case and you help the childeren.

It's an investment in the future. Having universal child care though is wasting tax dollars. Focus it on those in need.

for years each party, whether Conservative or Liberal vowed to introduce affordable, subsidised childcare once elected, at both the provincial (except the courageous Quebec) and federal levels.

They waved it at us at every election and none ever produced affordable childcare. They lied and will continue to lie. It is the shortsightedness inbred in the politian. If we had affordable child care, single parents or both parents could go to work at less than executive positions and earn a living, pay their way, and have their children properly cared for and given the benefits of early childhood education - which are enormous for the child and for the society.

An even greater benefit is that unskilled single parents or two-parents could go back to school, take useful technical training and join the workforce as properly skilled useful workers. How does this not compute. Why the constant delay, why the false promises.

This simple and comparatively inexpensive concept could enrich the entire country in one generation. I don't understand the lack of vision - oops! I said a bad word. This whole scenario is indicative of our political system.

I personally would love to see some useful for the tax-payer public legislation put through in one of the governments. Use 'Affordable DayCare' as a test case.

How interesting to see these comments. Tanya, you claim that parents, especially mothers, "get everything." I am going to assume that you are a sighted person.

Take a good look around you. What do you see? Single mothers running executive boardrooms, filling up the United Nations, occupying Cabinet positions, sitting in Parliament making decisions for us, waging wars, on the trading floors of the stock markets, hiring and firing... No?

That son of Alana's will be growing up to pay with his taxes for your health care and your public services. Or possibly not, if more people start to think like you and complain about that it's "not fair to expect the rest of society to pick up the slack" for the most vulnerable among us.

How short-sighted, as another person pointed out. Societies are just that - social. We're all in this together. At least, that's the tune we now hear from the corporate welfare queens lining up with their hands out for our tax dollars.

As I said in my previous post, it is ridiculous to regard a universal child care system as somehow a burden or a drain on society. It is an investment with significant returns for all of us, whether or not we make the choice to have kids of our own.

Our judicical and political systems do it harder for parents to raise children in this country. People who make over $$ 80 000 a year get greater tax breaks than the lower income familly who can barely pay for the bills let alone make topped up contributions to RRSP plans.

Single parents (ususally mothers have it much harder) more often they live in poverty. Really they do. Career growth is difficult when you are the only parent and must ALWAYS leave quickly after work to rush to pick up your child.

People wjo can devoted long hours to thier job are the ones who get promotions and better salaries. Single moms? Few companies empolyee them on their higher positions. Children are the onws who suffer.

Sweden had it all sorted out. We should learn from examining their infrastructures. They value children, health care and their elderly.

They have a fantastic quality of life and low crime and suicide rates. Take care of sociies children is an investment in our future. If we keep up with out individualist attitudes we will only end up with more youth crime and it will get worse.

Alana - you sound like a good person. But consider this: YOU chose to have a child with your ex. It does not appear that you were in great financial shape at the time.

What about taking responsibility for your own choices? Why should I, who am raising my own child and not asking for any help, subsidize your child care responsibilities through taxes?

Hi Alana
thank you for having the courage to come forward with this terrible dilemma. It is a sad, sad, day when being a parent means being forced to live in abject poverty.

The childcare amount allotted by the federal government is a sick joke. And by the way, anyone who thinks stopping childcare at age 6 is cheaper, you obviously have never had to pay for childcare.

A six year old child is too young to leave alone, and there are hours before and after school to worry about as well as all the professional development days where there is no scheduled school hours, holidays, and on days the child is sick,there is no daycare available.Odd hours daycare is often more expensive. I don't know where people get the idea that the "system" favours the mother...it most certainly does not.

The "system" favours the privileged few who have enough money for lawyers and courts. Ideally the system should favour the children, not leave them with very tired, frustrated parents who have few options and no money.

How many children whose parents are struggling to pay rent have the privilege of organized sport? It's about time the government stopped paying lip service to being pro "family" and jumped in with both feet to make sure the kids are looked after.

I would gladly pay more taxes for childcare than look forward to paying more taxes for the Olympics, or bailouts, or corporate welfare, or tax cuts for the wealthy,just a few examples.In BC we will be paying a lot in the future for the Games of 2010.

If people can afford expensive lessons and expensive sports equipment, surely they should not need my tax money to support their fun, but the governments seem to think games are more important than childcare. It is so infuriating! Good luck Alana, you are a strong and courageous woman.

Dave,

Fact is that if a woman were to walk out on her husband and children, he'd be just as pooched. If the departing parent pays a fair share (actually pays it), then the system would be much more equitable.

Fed Gov't should pay the difference to the receiving parent and add it to the delinquent parent's taxes.

why o why are attitudes to childcare so immature and punitive? can everyone ask themselves (10 seconds prob enough) why present situ is even remotely acceptable?

the canadian govt deserves to have its ass kicked over its discriminatory policy toward single parents but it knows they are all under-resourced and working too hard to take them on. what is old shampoo ad - it wont happen overnight but it will happen. there is a reckoning ahead and i will watch with a smile (and send some cash).

The other problem with Daycare is that it generally stops at around ages 8/9. But kids that age can't take care of themselves therefore options become very limited and expensive if you don't want your child running around on their own. And without a good system, parents, especially single parents, often have to run out of their workplace as quickly as possible which makes them "seem" less committed which puts their job in jeopardy. The "solve it yourself" attitude of the Tories is not helping us build a strong productive base of workers which ultimately hurts Canada's productivity.

First off, to Puhleeze, your comment is absolutely ridiculous, and you've obviously never had a rough time yourself.

Second, my sister has been going through a terrible divorce and custody battle. She has gone into debt because of this. However, the court has ordered her ex-husband to pay for a lot of expenses, enough to care for childcare and other essentials.

It might be worth taking him to court to pursue this. Not everyone man has enough decency to at least recognize that the mother of their child needs some help, not more stress!

>>The laws in Canada are completely unfair towards men - recently a female judge in Toronto ruled that a father must continue to pay child support to children that his ex-wife had from another man, while they were still married! Why?

Because she cannot remember who the actual father is.>>

Zain, can you post a link to that? I find it difficult to believe, and would like to read about it myself.

Alana, stay strong. You have to believe that good things come to those who earn them...

I will admit that I know next to nothing about daycare, so rather than offering an opinion, I'd like to ask two questions:

Why is there a shortage?
Why is it so expensive?

I'm guessing that the two are related, i.e., because daycare is in short supply, you have to pay a premium for it, just like anything else. The thing I don't get, however, is why the daycare industry isn't growing. If there's a need (which there is) and there's money to be made (which the costs seem to suggest) then why aren't more individuals and businesses getting into daycare? Is it over-regulated to the point where at the end of the day it's not profitable to the owner or provider and just not worth the effort? Is it under promoted as a carreer calling or a business investment?

The thing that makes me nervous when I hear talk about a national daycare plan (other than a vision of the entire country shutting down if a strike happens) is the fact that we seem so content to set up an enormous entitlement program without a good understanding of the reasons for daycare's shortages and and high cost in the first place.

Chris:

You say "I'd really hate to see universal child care where two income families pulling in a combine 6 figure income have my tax dollars paying to raise their kids."

Why exactly is that? You do realize that these are the people who are putting the most tax dollars into the system, don't you? So you just want those people to pay for everyone elses kids, but it is not ok for anyone to help pay for theirs?

LR:

You say "I understand that having children is a choice and for those that decided not to have children well good for you but the women that decide to have children should not have to chose between the child that they love and the job that helps support there family and this country."

An important part of that choice is ensuring that you can handle it financially. If a woman establishes her career first and then has a child, she should be able to go back to work AND support her child. When you are working 12 hours a week prior to having a child, it is plain to see that it will be a terrible struggle should you have to support that child on your own later on. That should tell you that you are not ready to have a child.

So given that knowledge, people continue to have children anyway, and the answer is supposed to be for everyone else to support them? I completely agree that the system needs to ensure that women (or men) promptly receive any child support due to them, but to expect the general public to support people who chose to bring children into an extremely marginal financial situation isn't really fair. Some of us work hard to get ahead and make as many right choices as possible, and it is frustrating to know that our tax dollars are being used to support many people who eschew these same smart choices.

Christine, you can be appalled all you want. I am not ranting about what I think I should pay. In case you can't read that well I am pointing out that most women have it pretty easy because father's pay more than their share.
As for being "pretty" if you think looks don't play a factor in the length people remain single for than you are very naive. I would have to see a pic of you to pass the same judgement. Good luck;)

I can totally relate with all you had to say Alana.

When people whine and complain
"you got yourself into this mess by having a child" and, "I am not going to subsidize YOUR daycare"...they have to be living on another planet, because this is a true example of protectionism, if you asked me.

Our children like our parents and the homeless are the social challenges the new government model must face to make the best of every situation that faces society.

The problem with a lot of 'business people' is -- they forget the other half of the equation...........................the future.

I am always amused at the "you chose to have children, so why should I pay" attitude. This makes no sense at all - yes many people choose to have children, obviously. Do they also choose to lose their jobs? Do they choose to have their spouses leave them? This is like saying, well you chose to go out walking, and then a car hit you accidentally, so you shouldn't qualify for healthcare.
Is it possible that I can tell the government where my hard earned money should go, based on my lifestyle? I imagine you saying "Please, no kid funding, no healthcare, none for equalization (my province is great so why should I care), none to support public transit"??? No, I suppose not. But, gee, don't spend it on daycare. Schools - yeah that's good, but daycare - no sirree. That's completely different.
Arrgh

Did you get a public education and perhaps go to college? Did you ever require healthcare for something voluntary like playing sport, or being silly like walking on an icy road? If so, I'd like my money back.

In response to "questionmark from Toronto":

Having a child is not the same thing as having an appartment. I do see your rationale, that if you cannot afford a larger appartment then you won't get one. However, children, as expensive as they are, may not be planned. If they are planned, they are usually done so when circumstances involve financial and marital stability.

These circumstances have changed in this woman's case. She cannot just give up her son as easily as an appartment. Nor would she want to.

I guess I just want to say that I know what you mean- take responsibility and that is great. I too would not get a super large appartment that I could not afford. But we are talking children here. Situations do change, wouldn't it be great if we all had a crystal ball?

A. Ahmad & anyone else who is interested!

I do not wish for my points to be taken out of context.

I am just seeing this entire situation from a different perspective.

I think that the government already provides a lot for parents, in terms for tax breaks and subsidies. Does a childless person get any tax breaks? Zero - ask any one of us.

So, the fact that parents get more tax breaks is something I can live with, for the sole reason that I believe children are an important part of our society.

However, now subsidized daycare comes up...so, what is next? It isn't a matter of being short-sighted (you couldn't be more wrong)...it just gets tiring for those of us who don't have kids to always get the short end of the stick. Seriously, aren't tax breaks enough? Now us single people have to expect to fund daycares, too?

People seem to equate having children with some sort of 'right'. It isn't - it is a privilege. Creating them is easy enough - raising them is another. All too often people have children to fill a need, instead of choosing to do so from a healthy place. This is wrong and irresponsible, and nobody should EXPECT the state to take care of our children's every need.

My family grew up with next to nothing as a child. My father worked two jobs to support my three siblings and I, and my mother stayed at home. We lived in a small place, shared one bathroom, had hand-me-downs...and a lot of love to make up for everything else. My parents never ONCE complained and they never allowed us to feel sorry for ourselves, either. We all did the best we could, and we managed and thrived.

Part of our generation's problem, and increasingly problematic with young people today, is that we expect a lot. Take a look around you...

Re: women, I was by no means suggesting that women get everything from a workplace perspective, as this is certainly not the case. I was referring to divorce issues. Yes, there are certainly deadbeat dads who don't work and don't help to support their children, and I am the first to agree that that is unacceptable. I feel sorry for the women who have to deal with this.

But, in most cases, most men out there work hard and love their children. I do believe, after having seen much too often, that most men are assigned a grossly unfair amount of the financial burden in these instances. It's a fact. And, what makes it worse, is that many times they poisoned against their fathers by the mothers!

This is wrong, plain and simple. Excluding exceptional circumstances (e.g. abuse issues), I think that joint custody should always be assigned at all times and that expenses and responsibilities should be equally shared. End of story.

Isn't school subsidized day care? Alana, when you filed your taxes this year, how much did you get back? I bet you got all of it back. So who is paying for your son's education, medical, dental not to mention roads, emergency services ... I can go on and on. You are already subsidized by middle and upper class Canadians. Make better life choices, get a better job or move to Switzerland.

Why should YOU get more money than people that share the same struggles as you. You come on here talking about the fact that you cant get enough money for daycare why dont you do what needs to be done to have a good life for yourself and kid. I was raised living with my mom and brother and we got along fine eating every night and getting a babysitter when needed and we had no help. And now you have your full time job why cant you pay for the necessities perhaps you need to spend your money more wise and put your childs needs before your own.

Thank you all for your words of support and criticism. I would like to respond with a couple of additional comments:

1. I had a full time job/career here and went with my husband when he was transferred up north with his work. I went back full time when my son was 8 months old (maternity leave was 6 months at the time).

2. We were financially secure when we had the child - dual income and never once thinking we were paying taxes for other people's children.

3. When my ex transferred again after the divorce, he chose to move 8 hours away which prevents 50/50 custody.

4. There are specific and important reasons why I continue to oppose my ex having primary residency. Those reasons do not need to be aired in public.

5. If you were to compare the hours I worked with the age of my son, you would realize that my slow return to full time allowed me to be home with my son as much as possible.

I also want to clarify that I am not looking for handouts from the government. I could have gone on social assistance and made more money than working - I did not. I could have gone on a rental subsidy - I did not. I believe in hard work, and I feel for single parents (men and women) are going through what I did. There is now a review being started that might bring some positive results from my local government office.

My story IS about daycare. Has anyone thought about why registered daycares charge the same for Monday-Friday as they do Tuesday-Friday? You pay the extra day just to save your spot. It gets a little expensive when you're paying Monday-Saturday and not utilizing all of the service you pay for. Which is why I have never gone to a registered daycare and dealt with childcare providers moving, retiring, etc.

Why not start a new daycare program that is open evenings and weekends? I'm sure a lot of parents don't work just the typical week days. And how about regulating daycares so you only pay for what you use? Those would have been some great breaks in themselves and wouldn't cost anything to those who don't have children.

I would like to hear your ex husbands side of the story. You make him out to be this guy who didn't pay you enough money to look after your child. You said that your childcare limited you to a $15 000 budget and you don't have enough money to buy groceries. And when you take you ex to court he says that he will take sole custody.

Well why don't you let him help and take your son for awhile untill your able to get enough money for groceries. And does your ex not pay child support and does he not a job as well? Does you ex husband not buy your son new clothes or feed him or put a roof over his head while he stays with him?!? I think it's time to put your sons needs before yours. Also who is this story really about you or your son. The whole time you talk about how you need more money and you have to work a full job that most people work. Do you expect the child support to cover your needs it's time to think more about your son and what's best for him instead of the money.

I don't know how it is where you live, but I know that there is very limited child care available for shift workers and so on. How can the health care workers that are so badly needed be available when there is very little shift care?

However, there are 24 hour child care centres, that are licensed. Sometimes you can pay for what you use, if you have arranged your schedule in advance.

I know that in Manitoba you can go online and search for licensed care. That includes centres and licensed family day care homes. All licensed places are possible to have subsidy if the family qualifies.

It is different province to province, so you really have to search for what is out there in your community.

It is unfortunate that good, affordable daycare is not available. Licensed daycares have a certain number of available spaces and you pay for all the days to keep your spot. When working part time this is not very often an option. Part time spaces are not a priority for them - they take away a full time(full money) spot.

At $40 or more per day per child for full time compared to about $15.00 for after school. You do the math. A lot of people think that when your kids start school it gets easier for daycare, that is not often the case. As for being a single parent and affording daycare - ouch! Yes, it is a tax break, but the benefit is when you get your tax return. i don't know of anyone that is willing to wait until your tax return comes back to get paid what you owe them.

#2 - Family dynamics change - I don't know of anyone that would willingly go into a relationship and have children knowing that it was going to fail. Divorces happen - and what would be a comfortable wage when there are 2 coming in, doesn't mean it is comfy by itself. Thus, the affordable daycare comes in again. Not everyone has friends and family that are available or even able to pitch in.
I applaud Alana for not going the easy route. She is standing on her own 2 feet and should be very proud of it.

Thank you Alana, for sharing your story.

To all of the ciritcs, you should be ashamed of yourself. You don't know the details and all the circumstances around her situation -- or that of any other single parent. Why pass judgement on something you know nothing about?

Single parents pay taxes too, so why shouldn't they be able to take advantage of where those taxes go or what they're used for?
I'm sure most of you have used them at some point over the course of your lifetime.

Give me a break. You're being ignorant and selfish yourselves.

Perpetuating these "single mother welfare" stereotypes is disgusting.
Reading most of these comments made me sick to my stomach.

We should be applauding parents that stay strong and continue support their children without ABUSING government programs. They are there to help when you need it. They are temporary solutions to temporary problems.
We ALL pay into them and we should ALL be able to use them when we need them.

Childcare is an essential service to most parents.
Having a child is not "living outside of one's means".

Nobody has a child with the intention of not being able to afford one and living off of goverment programs.
Circumstances change. Situations change.

You are equating needing help with, clearly overpriced, daycare with being unable to afford to have children.
A lot of the financial struggles are due to the high cost of daycare.

Many of you say "if you can't afford a child, you shouldn't have one. It's a choice to have a child".
So you're telling me that if I can forsee myself being unable to afford a child at ANY time in the future and I find myself pregnant then I should abort the pregnancy? Give my child up for adoption?
What??

What is your solution -- short of just not having children. Something that is sometimes beyond control.
How far can you take it?
If you think that sometime in the far away future that there is going to be a time that you might struggle to meet the rising costs of daycare then you should not have sex?

Some of your comments are completely unreasonable and ridiculous.
Think before you spread idiocy and breed intolerance.

WOW It's pretty amazing how off the wall people can get when it comes to childcare. Do you have all the facts about this subject?

Try thinking of childcare as an investment in the future of Canada. (I know I'm quoting a previous participant.)
Did you know that a Universally Funded system of childcare would be a means of delivering safe quality care to all children. This means that the majority of the childcare fees would be paid for by the Gov't with parents only paying $7 to $10 per day. All parents, not just a few. Can you imagine that??? What a difference that would make to our Canadian workforce.

Currently parents do not return to, or work outside the home, because of choices which include preferance for staying at home, and lack of quality care. (How many of you make minimum wage? That's the basic wage of your child care provider by the way (with no benefits - includes no paid sick days). Raising wages means raising childcare fees, and that's already a problem. Try to survive on minimum wages.

And go to a job that you require specialized college level training, you have to keep abreast with current information regarding your chosen profession, you have to upgrade your training, you work in a regulated licensed facility and you must renew your credentials every five years - at minimum wage. At minimum wage.)
As taxpayers we already pay for the education of children (many of whom are not our own, and will never be; we still pay for it.)

Other things our taxes pay for that not everyone accesses; child tax benefits (if you choose to stay at home with your children you are eligible, if you work outside the home you are not, that $100 per month for children under 6 years - doesn't help people who's children are older, or if you don't have children, year long maternity leaves - fine for people who paid taxes and worked those specified hours but not for people who own their own businesses or worked very sporatically or who don't have children.)

I can't speak for other provinces; in BC it has been a Ministry decision to NOT honour any child care agreements and follow the systems previously mentioned in Quebec, Ontaria, and those fantastic Scandinavian countries.

As Canadians it seems we feel threatened and angry when it appears someone else is choosing how we spend our personal money, or when it looks like someone is pursuing something for nothing. But don't forget, people are receiving a lot - and for nothing. A good review of the welfare systems seems in order, too. There is shortage of employees, there are a lot of people on welfare; I see a solution here.

Choices are an interesting topic, too. Previous people have mentioned that the break up of relationships are not planned, inflation isn't planned, losing your job or companies being downsizes - not part of the plan. Health issues, too, not part of the plan. But these end up costing us a lot. People make sacrifices.

So, I end my tyrade with this: consider what outcome we (Canadians) want. A country where people enjoy the luxury of life choices that our system supports (staying at home, owning own business, working in a chosen profession, etc...)? or something else. And how do we (Canadians) get there.

I see far more support necessary for the childcare system (including infant/toddler care, preschool, 3 to 5 daycare and school age care). This represents our future. It's a wise and sound investment. As good as a pension, or a GIC. mpb

I am an Early Childhood Educator II, and after recieving my college diploma, I finally have a wage that can contribute to my household. On the other hand, the daycare situation in Canada is in sad shape, due to lack of spaces and QUALIFIED staff to care for the children that need care. Childcare assistants make minimum wage while aiding in the raising of people's children, and this wage is not going to attract people who actually need to pay rent!!! The early childhood educators in this country are not valued and therefore don't stay in the field for very long!!! It's a real shame!

Leah, I think you have not taken the time to read the full comments posted here.

Is the issue simply the lack of space? It is not. I shared my story because there is a myriad of problems parents face, not just the space issue.

I have made reference to certain details not being for public consumption. No amount of badgering from the likes of you will make me share those details. Being in the "legal profession", I'm sure you have seen the worst that society has to offer. Theoretically, would you rather see a child be placed in a home that was not safe simply because that parent made more money? That would be incredibly asinine, my dear.

My son was safe and happy (and still is) with me despite the cash crunch that is now over.

Change is in the wind, and however long it takes to get there we need voices to speak up about their experiences.

To quote Woodrow T. Wilson, "If you want to make enemies, try to change something". Thank you for helping prove he was right! You have made my day :)

Hi Alana,

I read your about your family situation and I admire you for wanting to be a good parent. I'm Canadian living overseas, I too was a single-mother raising two boys. They are grown now and contributing back Canada. What I want to say is, because I live overseas I see many new Canadians who have gone to Canada and once they have their babies and receive their Canadian passport move back to their respective homeland. During this time they continue to collect monthly child bonuses and have very, very little interest in contributing to the country that extended them a passport. I've been told by many of these families that they have no interest in Canada, they go only for what advantages it has to offer. I not referring to new Canadians that abide by the law. However, say if a family collects about 500.00Cdn from the Canadian government, that would be the same as making 4,000 per month in a developing country or more. My point is, why not clean up the abuse of this system so there is money for Canadian mothers like yourself, struggling to raise Canadian children who will contribute back to Canada.

I can understand why some say, if you can't afford to raise your kids, don't have them. In a perfect world, that would happen. In today's economy, it is not so certain. When I had my two boys, my husband was making almost twice what he makes now. The youner is no yet 3 years old.

I can also understand why some people say hey aren't using the system so why should hey pay for it. Well, I would answer that these children in daycare need quality daycare to get a good start. I don't work becasue I want to; I work because my family needs my income. My son is in a great daycare, and in 20 years he and the other children there will be graduating college and moving in to the worrkforce, where they will start taking care of us, and you who don't want to support them now.

And yes, I do know school starts at ae 6. My son is in school from 9am to 330pm. That is not enough hours for me to work fulltime with out additional care for him. That care has a cost.

I wish the goverment would help more. We do need more good daycare spots and at better costs! What I pay works out to $6000 a year for daycare for my youner son alone. Out of our gross, as in BEFORE tax, household income of $50 000, more than 12% is going to daycare and childcare. Yes, I can claim my kids on the federal taxes, but only the parent with the lower income can. Guess what it works out to when the income is low to start with. Not much.

Daycare spaces need to be increased and the cost associated needs to be decreased and subsidized.

Finding good affordable childcare is not always easy. Yes I am a single mother and Yes I do work everyday but without substity I would not be working. I simply could not afford rent, utilities, insurance, gas, groceries and a huge daycare bill on top of that. Not everyone is realizing that yes some of your tax dollars are going to help parents pay the cost of daycare, but don't forget a lot more of your tax dollars are going to pay people to sit home on assistance and do nothing. Now I understand not everyone on assistance is like that but there certainly are a lot who are capable of working but simply don't because they don't have to. I would rather have my tax dollars be spent to help parents cover the cost of childcare than go towards people and parents sitting home doing nothing all day while I spend the day at work away from my child.
Yes I do collect child support, and yes I also receive a small amount for childcare cost but it's not even close to covering the total amount. And since my childs father has visitation and he choose's not to use it, or to even buy his child x-mas, birthday, easter ect.. presents... I'm more than happy excepting every cent I receive each month to raise my child on my own.
But my income and child support certainly doesn't go far and no we do not have a lavish lifestyle. We enjoy the free activities our city has to offer and spend most of our free time playing outside together. I've learned that money cannot buy happiness and you have to embrass what you have and learn to live without materials things.

Another female victim, get a job and quit expecting taxpayers and your ex-husband to support you and your kids.

what they don't tell you:
In her situatuion she'd also get:
child support, say 800/month tax free
Daycare - paid proportionately by ex-husband
CCTB - currently 370/month tax free each kid
HST/GST rebate - 100%
tax refund - around $4000/YEAR
UCB - 200/month

subsidies and benefits galore for single moms.
quit whining and get a job to make up the difference

CALLING ALL SINGLE PARENTS:
After researching the financial advantages between working and providing for your children and going on Welfare and having everyone else provide for your children...your better off on welfare. I think i'll give up my professional position which the government recieved over 30,000 in income taxes from me last year and go on welfare. I'll pay $120 a month for a three bedroom town house, get $680 in child tax credit, $200 in UCB, and get free medical, dental and vision care. And the kicker is....I'll get free daycare to stay home and collect from all those complaining about subsidized child care for those of us who try to be productive members of Society. Hey, maybe I'll even get my X who is 3,000 behind in childcare to give me a ride to the grocery store in his brand new 2009 Ford 350 diesel truck.....Give me a break people!!! OH yeah, i can then teach my kids that using the system to live without fear of positive expectations is the way to go....ARE YOU GETTING IT YET?????

IT'S EASY TO POINT THE FINGER IN A ROOM WITH NO MIRRORS.

wear is the help for women like me abuse by the husbent and hi parans. I am going through a divorce is been over a year an is not even close to be don ,he did,t pay me chiled suport for the first 5 months and when he stared paying he pay for 3 months of 1500 child an spussol suport ,he decide to reduce the painment to$840 and now only $500 for my son and me, Ican't pay my rent with that money

,I work my inccom is very low and i need to paid babysiter and is very hard to find someone to watch my son is any help thorgh the government programs for singal mom i need to work at the same time i need to work to srvive,my ex-husbent have the houses he has everything and ; i start my live from scrach been merried fo 12 years and I,m knot in taitol to get enything ,he put me in jail that way i can,t clam the house the government did now help me very is the women righs in Canada the husbent get,s evrything the women can sart live over with natheng ,

I Do not have any family in Canada even the low in Canada does not take my situation sirusley.even the layers taking adventich of me becose of my English.I don,t mine to go on the tv for interview to take abouth my life experiance in Canada.Thans

You are not a 'single-parent', you are a 'DIVORCED-PARENT'. Huge difference, you probably get child support and your ex probably has custody of your son some of the time.

Do it on your own and then you will have something to complain about. You might think about that before you poke at those on welfare. Some people don't go on welfare as a choice, they go on it out of necessity.