Late-night TV hosts may have afforded Toronto Mayor Rob Ford some privacy on Wednesday when he announced his leave of absence to deal with substance abuse issues, but the embattled mayor's troubles were fair game for comic fodder the next night.
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On Wednesday, following Mayor Ford's revelation he would "take a leave from campaigning and from my duties as mayor to seek immediate help," Jimmy Kimmel, host of Jimmy Kimmel Live, spared Ford from the ritualistic mocking that accompanied any previous revelations regarding the mayor.
'My vision board worked': Kimmel
"All jokes aside, I hope [Ford] really does get the help he obviously needs," Kimmel tweeted.
All jokes aside, I hope @TOMayorFord really does get the help he obviously needs.— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) May 1, 2014
Kimmel, whose show Ford graced as a guest earlier this year, was not as forgiving Thursday night.
Kimmel's opening monologue launched right into the latest revelations about the mayor. A new video has surfaced allegedly showing the mayor smoking what appears to be crack cocaine in his sister's basement, Kimmel explains to his audience.
"Not too many people smoke crack in a tie, but it's ... classy is what it is," he quips, as a still image from the alleged video is splashed across the screen.
Kimmel then explains that another recording — this time only audio — was obtained by the Toronto Sun, which allegedly has Ford making multiple lewd comments on it.
"The guy is constantly being taped. Never seems to notice the cameras," Kimmel says, adding he finds this phenomenon interesting. "Is that a side effect of crack?"
But, it's not all bad news about Ford for Kimmel. In the audio recording, a man the Sun identified as Ford says he will move to California if he loses the upcoming mayoral election.
"Hey, that's where I live," Kimmel exclaims. "My vision board worked."
Baby president more likely than Ford's rehab stint: Stewart
Jon Stewart of The Daily Show showed no surprise at the new alleged video. But, when he learned Ford announced he would be entering a rehab facility, Stewart spat out the water he was drinking.
That is "No. 1 on the list of things I never thought would happen," he says.
'When you have a lot of an item — like bananas or socks or videos of Rob Ford smoking crack — price tends to drop.'- Jon Stewart, host of The Daily Show
What did he think was slightly more likely than Ford entering rehab?
- A baby president.
- Jersey named best-smelling.
- Cats unionize.
Stewart pointed out the lack of economic knowledge by the Globe and Mail identified, self-professed drug dealer who attempted to sell the paper the video for a six figure sum.
"Let me explain supply and demand to you. When you have a lot of an item — like bananas or socks or videos of Rob Ford smoking crack — price tends to drop. You want to make six figures? You want a video of something rare. Justin Bieber stopping a bratty kid from being a public nuisance," he explains.
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Another interesting moment for Stewart from the audio tape? When Ford allegedly makes lewd comments about one of his rivals in the upcoming mayoral election, Karen Stintz, he then quickly apologizes when he remembers there is a woman in his presence.
"Here’s what’s amazing: even drunk, even on crack — he’s so f--king Canadian," Stewart says, going on to imitate Ford: "‘Sorry my lady. Pardon my coarse language and vulgar articulation.'"
'Tough day for our pal': Fallon
Jimmy Fallon only needed to utter Ford's name during his opening monologue on The Tonight Show to get cheers from the crowd.
"It's a tough day for our pal, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford," Fallon starts.
He explains Ford's decision to take a leave of absence "to seek immediate help."
Ford wants to deal with the problem swiftly, Fallon explains, "cause Monday is Cinco de Mayo and he ain't missing that."
He informs his audience of the new video allegedly showing the mayor smoking crack in his sister's basement.
"We have to say allegedly because he doesn't really know whose basement it was," Fallon jokes.
But, Fallon says he's glad the mayor is seeking help.
"You know what? They have TVs in rehab. So if you're watching this Mayor Ford, we hope that some of these jokes cheer you up."
'He must be friends with the Queen': Letterman
Over on The Late Show with David Letterman, host David Letterman dedicated two segments to the Ford saga: his opening monologue and his nightly top 10 list.
"Is there a videotape out there of him not smoking crack?" Letterman asks.
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Letterman finds it hard to understand that Ford remains mayor of Toronto, saying "Apparently things are different in Canada ... He must be friends with the Queen. Who knows?"
Then Letterman presented his top 10 reasons Ford is taking a leave of absence:
- The great ones always know when to leave on top.
- He’s going to help Justin Bieber turn his life around.
- Made the decision in a drunken stupor.
- Already accomplished everything he set out to do.
- Meeting with CBS about a late night project.
- Worries that if he stays, he’ll embarrass himself.
- Crack scene in Toronto is so over.
- Wants to spend more time with his humiliated family.
- His drinking began to interfere with his crack smoking.