They first met at their children's kindergarten and then again last spring, just as the chill came out of the air and the green began to announce itself.

The two mothers would meet at Gilbert Layton Park, a favourite gathering place in Montreal's Notre-Dame-de-Grace, a thickly immigrant neighbourhood where friends are often more like family.

Iveta Vicenova, who had come to Canada from Slovakia, was there with her six-year-old daughter Emma; Ianna Kobeleva, a single mom from Ukraine, had her two children in tow, Serafim, 5, and six-year old Sofia.

Sofia and Serafim Kartseva, getting used to their new home. (Photo courtesy Iveta Vicenova and Roman Martanovic)

The mother's casual conversations about everything from recipes to summer camps would soon change Iveta's life in a fundamental way.

"Early last summer," says Iveta, "I saw that Ianna was in pain and I said 'I am a massage therapist, why don't you come for a massage? I don't charge you, just come.'"

On the massage table, secrets came out. Ianna had been in pain for six months and suspected something was seriously wrong. But she was scared to see a doctor because she was an illegal immigrant who worried that she was going to be deported, even though her children had been born here.

Ten days later, as Iveta and her family prepared for a camping trip, Ianna phoned.

She had checked herself into hospital. Serafim and Sophia were staying with families she knew from the local Russian Orthodox Church.

"She said the children were already in their third family. They were going a few days here and a few days there like little kittens and she was just calling people and begging them to take the children. And I said, 'Of course we are going to take the children for the time we are here.'"

For the time we are here now looks to be a promise that will last a lifetime.

'I want for them a better life'

The next morning Serafim and Sofia were dropped off at Iveta and Roman's apartment. This was in July 2008. They each carried a small suitcase. Serafim had "Spiderman" pajamas. Sofia's were "Dora the Explorer."

Emma was told that her two friends from the park would be camping out in her bedroom for a few days, which for her was kind of exciting.

Iveta remembers mainly how frightened the two youngsters looked. "I said, "My goodness, what is happening to these two little children? Did no one even explain to them what is happening?"

A few days turned into a week, and then two. Then more bad news as the doctors asked Iveta to come to the hospital because they did not want Ianna to be alone when they told her just how grim her prognosis was.

"I still felt like a total stranger because we were not that close. But at that moment I said, 'Of course, I am going to be there because she needs some support, she needs someone to be beside her bed.'

"She didn't have any family here, nobody."

Iveta and the doctors then went to Ianna's room and everyone started to cry and then Ianna said, "Don't talk about this, I want to talk about my children. I don't want my children to go to Ukraine, I want them to stay in Canada. I want for them a better life."

"I didn't even know how I drove home from the hospital," Iveta recalls now. "Roman and I stayed up a very long time trying to figure out what to do.

"We did not have clothes for them or beds, but the children gave us the strength and love to deal with this. Because it was summer we said no matter what the stress is and no matter how much we cry, we need to make fun for these children."

Neighbours help

Fall arrived. Serafim started in kindergarten, the girls started Grade 1. There were school fees to pay and Serafim and Sofia needed beds.

Iveta was taking in as many massage clients as she could and Roman started French classes to improve his job prospects.

Iveta and the children visiting Ianna in hospital last year. (Photo courtesy Iveta Vicenova and Roman Martanovic)

Then word got out and neighbours started bringing over hand-me-downs and dropping off food.

On Sundays, Iveta and Roman took the children to the hospital to see Ianna. Right through to the very end.

"We said all of us goodbye to her. I asked her if there is anything I need to know, to pass a message to the children and she said, 'You know Iveta my life was not such an interesting story.'

"And she said, 'I don't know you much but I know you are a very good person and a very good mama.'"

On November 30, 2008, Ianna Kobeleva died of breast cancer. She was 33. Hospital social workers moved quickly to secure an arrangement for the children. If Sofia and Serafim went on a foster-care list, there were no guarantees they would stay together.

Iveta and Roman were told they could apply to become the legal guardians but there were no guarantees for that either. Many couples are refused.

Roman remembers that day: "We had to decide overnight what to do with the children. I didn't have the thought I am going to say no. They are knocking on the door and you cannot leave it closed."

Iveta called her sisters and her parents back in Slovakia. Her mother said, "You had better think about this two times because you don't have any family there, and you have your own life to take care of and this is a big responsibility."

And so she did and that is how, just before Mother's Day, Roman and Iveta became official foster parents. It is the first step towards adoption.

A new family

"You learn how to be a mom every day," says Iveta, "it is a challenging thing, every mom knows that.

"Children evolve and change all the time. They grow so you have to evolve with them.

The three children on a camping trip, where Roman tends the fire. (Photo courtesy Iveta Vicenova and Roman Martanovic)

"As for the closeness, it was much more easier for my husband because these two [Serafim and Sophia] never had a father. Right away they bonded with my husband. But they had a mother at first so they didn't need me that much.

"My husband taught Serafim how to ride a bicycle and he is like a big hero for him now.

"For me he would say, 'I have my mom.' He would still love me and everything. But it would be a different kind of dynamic in the relationship."

This weekend, the whole family will take a plane together for the first time.

Iveta's sister is getting married in Bratislava and a benefactor is paying for Serafim and Sofia's airfare, so they can meet their new relatives.

Their Ukrainian grandparents — Ianna's parents — are coming by train to see Sofia and Serafim, and their new sister Emma. Roman and Iveta's brand new family.

Iveta now cannot imagine how anything could have turned out differently. "This whole situation changes us forever, all of us. Because we had a lesson in how to open our hearts, how not to judge and how to share everything equally.

"Because when the time is right and you are ready, you can shine. That is what this is."

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The Sun Youth Organization in Montreal is collecting charitable donations on behalf of Iveta and Roman and their new family. It can be contacted through director Tommy Kulczyk at 4251 St. Urbain St., Montreal, H2W 1V6.

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