Logan Daley, an 11-year-old from Montague, P.E.I., has gone public about being a boy — and says doing so has been a huge relief.
Telling his parents and two brothers he's transgender was scary, he said.
'You have to follow the child's lead and really get past what's comfortable for you.' — Jason Daley
"I thought they were going to kick me out or something, 'cause I always worry about stuff like that," Logan said.
That didn't happen.
"It's been the same. They treat me the same, they just call me a different name and different pronouns and that's about it," Logan said.
'Introducing our son'
Logan's parents — Alana and Jason — were supportive, and with his input, wrote a post on Facebook announcing the arrival of their son, similar to a baby announcement.
"For us, it's 11 years late! Introducing our son Logan Daley!" reads the post, which praises Logan's courage to come forward.
"Everything kind of lifted and you saw this personality come out, and he was able to be who he is," said Alana.
Logan had "never followed stereotypical gender rules," the Daleys said.
Growing up, Logan loved superhero movies and never wanted to be a princess at Halloween — instead choosing Spiderman and Wolverine, said Jason.
Jason remembered what he called "fishing questions," with Logan grilling him in the car one day.
"'Dad, when you were in the delivery room how did you feel when you had a girl?' So it was basically fishing to see whether I'd be absolutely disappointed when he made this announcement," said Jason.
Logan always seemed to have something weighing on him, Alana said.
When he was a young child, Alana joked, he "was like a little Eeyore. Always negative, always seeing the glass as half empty."
But over the past few years, his mother noticed Logan had become withdrawn and depressed. She knew something was wrong, she said, but felt at a loss about how to help.
Now, his parents are relieved to know what was on his mind.
Since Logan told his parents, his mood has improved, said Alana. These days, she and Jason hear Logan laughing with his brother as they play video games together in the rec room.
Ready to run
At one point, Logan told his parents he had been prepared to leave home if they kicked him out when he told them he was transgender.
He said he'd heard other transgender people had been rejected by their families, and was worried his own wouldn't accept him.
Jason said he was shocked when he heard that.
"I can't imagine ever doing that to anyone — let alone my own child, but that was something he was willing to face at the point that he told us he was a boy," he said.
"He had prepared to run away if it didn't go well," Alana said.
Logan said now he knows his parents love him unconditionally, and things haven't changed much at home with his family.
'We're not monsters'
Logan's gender is not a choice, said the Daleys.
"The choice is to keep living a lie and being depressed, or being happy," said Alana. "Something that really hit me hard was saying 'I'd rather support my son than bury my daughter.'"
"You have to follow the child's lead and really get past what's comfortable for you," said Jason. "It's not about you."
Logan is also learning about what it means to be transgender.
"They're no different from anybody else and that we're not monsters, and that there's no age limit to who can be transgender," he said.
'Hopefully in 10 years, this is a non-issue'
Logan had been unhappy at school for more than a year. So, with the help of a psychiatrist, the family decided it would be helpful for Logan to be home-schooled for a few months.
Logan tries to act like he doesn't care what others think, he said, but admits he misses his friends at school. Each Wednesday he meets up with a few classmates and they have lunch together.
His mother hopes that, in time, being transgender won't be a big deal.
"Hopefully in ten years, this is a non-issue," she said.
In the meantime, the Daleys are enrolled in online courses from Stanford University School of Medicine to learn as much as they can so they can support Logan's choices as he grows older.
Logan and his parents will see an endocrinologist — a hormone specialist — at the IWK Health Centre in Halifax in a few months, where they'll discuss any future medical transitions Logan may choose.
'The courage to come forward'
Alana and Jason were overwhelmed by the positive response to their Facebook post, and say the feedback they received helped them feel like they were not alone.
"I didn't really expect it to get the response that it did," said Alana.
At least three other Island mothers have contacted Alana to say they are going through something similar, she shared.
"I think it gave a lot of people courage to come forward and say, 'You know I'm going through the same thing,' and that's important too," said Jason.
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