Fracking: hydraulic fracturing - the fracturing of various rock layers by a pressurized liquid. (Wikipedia)

There's something about the word fracking that makes me think, hey, I can get to like it.

Just the sound of it.


You can literally hear the rock yield and say, "Alright, alright! I give up. You can have your oil."

The word crackles with persuasion.

And I'm not alone in my infatuation with it. Fracking had a lead role in the TV series Battlestar Galactica, which aired between 2004 and 2009, where it substituted for the f-word.

Frack, we're not alone! But why leave the word in space? There's just as much use for it in our daily lives down here.

Somebody forgot to put the fracking dog out, now I have to clean up the fracking mess. Frack! The gulls got to the fracking garbage again. What's with the fracking traffic this morning? Why's my computer so fracking slow? I'm losing my fracking mind. Thank God it's fracking Friday.

Breaking apart

But again, why stop there? Fracking is all about breaking things up, and things need to be broken up all the time all over the place.

More from Azzo Rezori

Read Azzo's argument for setting up some new spring rituals for Newfoundland and Labrador.

A married couple comes to the end of mutual endurance. Time to frack that. A father doesn't like the guy his daughter's dating. There must be ways to frack that too.

Are you having deep-seated unresolved motivational conflicts? Maybe there's a shrink who can frack the mess. Fracking their consciousness was what Timothy Leary and Aldous Huxley did with LSD.

Joey Smallwood fracked the outports. Danny Williams fracked Roger Grimes and his Liberals. Both the Liberals and the NDP are now out to frack Kathy Dunderdale and her Tories.

The Americans are still trying to frack the Taliban. Capitalist fracking is making a comeback in Cuba.

At the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, scientists are doing sophisticated subatomic fracking to get at the basic secrets of the universe. Philosophers have been on a similar quest for thousands of years fracking the strata of human thought.

The bigger picture

And that leads us to the ultimate question: do the gods frack?

Well, ask Geoff Stirling as he remembers listening to the Atlantic Ocean gnawing away at the rocks below his meditation bunker in Motion. Something had to be fracking the minds and souls of men like Lao Tzu, Buddha, and Jesus (only a partial list) to give us the stuff for our religions.

Besides, if someone or something hadn't fracked part of the earth's mantle into the Tablelands of Gros Morne — we wouldn't be talking about fracking in the first place.