Marc Lépine's mother had no idea her son harboured so much anger against women that he would go to Montreal's École Polytechnique in a murderous rage and gun down 27 female students, killing 14 of them.

In what is thought to be her first interview since the Polytechnique rampage 17 years ago, Monique Lépine said this month's shootings at Dawson College brought back many painful memories.

Speaking with Quebec television network TVA Sunday night, she recalled how she had gone to a prayer meeting the night of Dec. 6, 1989, when she learned of the Polytechnique shootings.

"I prayed for the mother of the young man who was shooting, without knowing that it was me," Lépine said.

Later, when police told her the truth, Lépine said she couldn't believe it.

"I think I was under the effect of shock," she said. "Never, never, never would I have imagined my son could have committed such an act, an act so demented."

As time has passed, Lépine has wondered whether her son's anger towards women was rooted in his feelings towards her.

"Some people would say that I could be perceived as a feminist. I earned a good living, and supported my family," Lépine said.

Her son, Lépine said, was an introvert and was physically abused by his father, beginning at age five. One beating was so bad it left marks on Marc's body for more than a week.

Lépine left her husband shortly after the abuse started, and raised Marc alone until he left home at age 18.

After the massacre, the mother of two recalled, she struggled with dark thoughts, and wanted to die at one point. She rarely visits her son's grave, Lépine admitted.

And though she's never spoken to the families of her son's victims, she's ready to do that now, she said.