CBC Montreal hockey team laces up for annual exercise in futility

Could 2018 be the year of the CBC No Stars?

Or is it? This year we're armed with a secret weapon

Smiling through the tears: Here's CBC Montreal's No Stars hockey team at the 2017 Kids' Cup.

Could 2018 be the year of the CBC No Stars? 

The CBC Montreal hockey team is once again lacing up to play in two annual tournaments, and this year, the team is hoping to break its three-year losing streak. 

The No Stars will be playing in the prestigious Kids' Cup at St. Lambert Elementary School on April 6 and in the Montreal Media Celebrity Hockey tournament on April 14.

This year, the team comes armed with a secret weapon: Karell Emard from Les Canadiennes has signed on to play —at undoubtedly a different pace than what she is used to.
The CBC No Stars' not-so-secret weapon this year is Les Canadiennes forward Karell Emard. (CWHL)

"We considered the strategy of practising as a way to get better," CBC sports anchor Douglas Gelevan said. "Instead, we just decided to add better players to the team. Hopefully, this will make up for our lack of preparation and skill and lead to an undeserved win."

CBC reporter Jay Turnbull echoes that sentiment.

"I chalk up the long string of previous defeats to our team being decimated by a severe lack of talent. Unfortunately, none of our players was injured, meaning we had to ice a full team of talentless miscasts."

"This year will be different, because at least one of our players will be good," Turnbull said. 

Anyone wishing to cheer on the CBC Montreal No Stars can head down to the Pierrefonds Sportplexe on April 14. The team plays at 1:30, 2:30 and 5:30 p.m. The event is open to the public and free.

All money raised goes towards the Otis Grant and Friends Foundation. 

For more information, click here.

CBC reporter Jay Turnbull chalks up the No Stars' long string of previous defeats to the team having been 'decimated by a severe lack of talent.' (Montreal Media Hockey Tournament)

The CBC Montreal No Stars are:

  • Douglas Gelevan, sports anchor.
  • Elias Abboud, TV and radio reporter.
  • Jay Turnbull, TV and radio reporter.
  • Ben Shingler, web writer.
  • Jonathan Montpetit, web writer.
  • Derek Marinos, line-up editor.
  • Peter Johnson, CBC News executive producer.
  • Jeremy Zafran, traffic reporter. 
  • Étienne Bruyère, camera operator.
  • Andrew Dorion, friend of CBC.
  • Mike Blundon, friend of CBC.
  • Mike Talarico, goalie and friend of CBC.
  • Julian Carozza, friend of CBC.
  • Karell Emard, forward, Les Canadiennes de Montréal and friend of CBC.