The day a rural Manitoba man learned his father was too sick to drive, was the day he knew his dad would kill himself.
Less than a week later, he did just that, leaving a grieving family to pick up the pieces and instantly becoming part of a grim reality for Canadian families — seniors over the age of 85 have the highest suicide rate of any group in the country, according to the most recent statistics.
"I always knew in the back of my head that he was going to kill himself somehow," said the man, whom the CBC has agreed not to identify.
"And then when he told me that he couldn't get into the truck anymore … I knew that it was coming to an end."
His father's decision to die began to form soon after he was diagnosed with ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) about two years ago.
Robbed of independence
From the outset, the prognosis was clear: sooner or later, the disease would rob him of every freedom, every bodily function and every vestige of independence he was so fiercely protective of.
"His motor skills were shutting down, he wasn't able to walk, he couldn't pick up the grandkids, couldn't change a light bulb, couldn't even open a bottle of water," his son recalled.
'His motor skills were shutting down, he wasn't able to walk, he couldn't pick up the grandkids, couldn't change a light bulb, couldn't even open a bottle of water.' - Son of man who committed suicide
"I knew that this was going to be a really bad thing for him, because he never, he never'd want to live like that. He wouldn't have wanted to."
Instead, one morning last March, he went to the garage, took a gun and shot himself in the head. His wife found him soon after.
"She came home from work and checked on him … he was dead," his son said. "It was very messy, apparently. It was pretty messy."
Days later she found his suicide note. He killed himself, it said, so his family would not have to see him deteriorate; so they would not have to witness the ravages of ALS and what it did to his independence.
His death supports two studies recently released. First, that ALS is one of the top reasons that people seek out assisted suicides in countries where it is legal — an option that his son supports, and wishes had been available to his father.
But it also reflects research that points to the climbing suicide rate among elderly men; right now across Canada, about 31 out of every 100,000 seniors, especially after the age of 85, kill themselves. Most of them are white men and most die violently.
While the trend is climbing at a slightly lower rate in Manitoba, it still disturbs local mental health experts, who fear it is going dangerously unnoticed.
"The group that's forgotten are the baby boomers and the seniors," said George Pasieka, executive director of the Canadian Mental Health Association's Manitoba division.
"We often forget what it is because … when we deal with elderly parents or people we just dismiss it as being senile or whatever the case might be."
There are other factors. Depression (along with terminal disease and dementias) is also increasing among the elderly — borne out of everything from the loss of a spouse to a move into a nursing home.
"They have to have it tough," Pasieka said. "I can't imagine what it's like living in a room by yourself, with your family out of the province or whatever."
Unfortunately, there's still not a lot of attention paid to the concept of depression among our elderly. What's worse, he says, is that this could be just the tip of the iceberg.
"My gut feeling is it's substantial," he said. "I believe it's an untapped area which is probably going to be the next tsunami."
It's a grim prediction, and cold comfort to a family that has already weathered that storm.
"We haven't gone through a Christmas without him before," said his son.
"This will be our first one, and it will be hard."