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Kira Vermond: Dads, it doesn't hurt to ask the boss about family flex time

By Kira Vermond, a Canadian freelance writer.

It's 5:15, the end of the workday. Crunch time.
 
And now you're fighting your way through traffic trying to get to your son's daycare on time. Because just last week you vowed never to be late for pick up again. It's just too bad you had to leave the work on your desk half-finished.
 
BlackBerry in one hand, toddler in the other. You admit you're struggling to keep all the balls in the air.
 
Sound like every working mother you know? Guess again.
 
It's dad.
 
We all know moms have long complained about the struggles they face when dealing with the pull between work and home. But now there's evidence that they're in good company.
According to a 2010 Workopolis poll, seven in 10 dads say they feel guilty when work commitments take precedence over family time.
 
Some experts say that this trend reflects not so much a gender switch as a generational thing. Because now that more young employees are having kids, they're taking a long, hard look at the time they spend on the job.
 
Convincing employers to be more family friendly is a tougher battle for fathers than it is for mothers, however. Although many of us would like to think we're enlightened, there's definitely an old school attitude that dictates that if anyone should pick up the slack for the kids, it's mom.
 
Meanwhile, many companies, even if they offer more flexibility on the job, tend to look at these programs as mothers' initiatives.
 
The Workopolis poll itself revealed that more people think moms should reduce their work time to be with their children. Not fathers.
 
So, how to fight this uphill battle if you want to merge suit with soother?
 
Well, although this is not always ideal, you can do what many dads already do. Opt for informal flexibility rather than a formal flextime arrangement. Maybe that means working from home Friday afternoons from time to time. Or even stepping out for children's doctor's appointments. It's stealth, but it works.
 
Or if you want a more formal arrangement, ask. Not every boss is going to be happy with you taking every Wednesday off. But if you're a good employee and you offer to be available for questions that day, they might just go for it.
 
And don't forget to remind management that this is a temporary thing. Kids do eventually grow up.
 
Giving family friendly benefits to everyone is in the employers' best interest. Because according to that Workopolis data, half of working dads would consider quitting if another company offered them a better daddy deal.

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