Just when you thought you could relax, the stress of the holidays has dissipated and you've survived yet again, a new challenge rears its head — college and university applications. This is the time of year when high school seniors take on the task of applying for college and university programs. Depending on your teenager, the house may be awash in anxiety, indecision, procrastination, and even tears.

No need to panic. As with all tasks, this one can be well managed in an orderly and organized fashion, and knowing how to facilitate this process can ease parental tensions and keep teens on a charted course toward success. Here are some tips that should smooth the process of shepherding your teen through this milestone without it becoming a millstone.

First things first: does your teen wish to attend college or university? New research from Statistics Canada suggests that taking a year off following high school completion does not have negative implications for job prospects or wages later in life. As long as we're clear that by 'gap' we are not referring to a year-long siesta on the couch, it can actually be a meaningful bridge between high school and all that follows. Communicate that post-secondary schooling is a good investment, and strive for a good match between what they would like to do and their strengths and aptitudes. Career or vocational counselors can be helpful in assessing strengths and interests, but your teen needs to be agreeable and interested in seeking this type of consultation. This is their life journey and they should be at the helm throughout the process.

Some good chats over dinner may help your teen to work out what they wish for in their future. Endeavour to appear supportive and share your own career experiences. Research shows that parents are important role models and key influencers on their teens' decision making. Be careful not to make their decisions for them; you are there to guide them. Stay interested even if you teen goes through periods of indecision and apathy. Think of education and training as stages of further development in their life that are meaningful even if there is no particular end goal in mind.

Once they've set a goal to continue their education, the next step involves both exploration and action. Completing applications necessitates knowing in advance where your teen wishes to attend university. With this decision comes a conversation about whether this will happen at 'home' or 'away.' Every family will handle this decision differently, taking into account your teen's wishes, their social and emotional readiness for independent living, financial considerations, and parents' own abilities to 'let go.'

Preparing a list of potential schools is a good idea and should be done in time to allow for you and your teen to visit at least the top contenders.

Consider visiting when students are on campus as opposed to during breaks, and you can often request a student ambassador or other school representative to show you around. While campus life and school culture are important considerations, so too are the extracurricular activities and sports that the institution offers. Academics, campus life, and sports and leisure activities are important characteristics to consider when selecting a college or university. This will be your child's home away from home for four years, so they need to take the time to think about how their personality and their needs and wants match up with potential candidates.

Characteristics to consider include such things as the types of degrees offered, the size of the student body, the location (urban, rural), costs, types of financial aid awarded, housing choices, average standardized test scores of admitted students, characteristics of the student body (gender split, diversity), average class size, accommodations made for identified learning disabilities (more time for exams), quality of the faculty, student organizations (professional and social), accreditation, graduation rate, and sports facilities and reputation (for athletes). Depending on your teen and your family, other important considerations may include religious affiliation and safety.

Yes, this is an awful lot to think about, so it is wise to plan ahead and carve some time to explore choices, discuss preferences and options, visit the campus, and meet current students.

In addition to campus visits, you and your teen can canvass the experiences and opinions of your family and friends. Aunts, uncles, older siblings, teachers, and friends of the family will no doubt be happy to discuss their university experiences (up to a point!) and help your teen form some impressions of what they might like in an institution of higher learning.

Remember, the right college or university is a personal choice, and the timing of that choice will also vary according to the academic, social, and/or financial readiness of your teenager. Not all teens are ready to enter post-secondary studies immediately after completing high school; this is an entirely valid position and parents will have to weigh their teen's readiness against their own wishes and desires.

Colleges and universities provide no shortage of glossy brochures, DVDs in some cases, and in certain situations make road trips to high schools to entice potential students. By all means, avail yourself of these sources of information, and include them with all other considerations in making the decision.

Lastly, think of this as yet another occasion in which you can support your teen in their journey toward personal growth and independence. Knowing when to offer guidance, organizational strategies, and support is a fine balance with knowing when to back off and let them think things through and attempt at least some of the task on their own. You know your child best, but remember that this task is a process of self-discovery and an exercise in mastering one's destiny. They have to learn to sink or swim at some point and a good time to try is when they are still under your watchful and supportive guidance. When in doubt, 'watch, wait, and wonder' — offer support, encouragement, and demonstrate confidence that their decision will be the right one for them.

Before you know it, they'll be off on their university adventure and you'll be left holding down the fort, with tissues in one hand and fingers crossed on the other — at least that part never seems to change!

Dr. Melanie Barwick is a registered psychologist with a primary role as a health systems scientist in the Community Health Systems Resource Group at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto.

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