Anthony Hartsell, dressed as Elrond

Tuesday wasn't a typical day for me. It's not every day that I take a journey through Middle Earth to Mordor and back.

Oh no, wait. It only feels like I went to Mordor. That's because I was in a downtown Toronto movie theatre watching The Lord of the Rings. Which Lord of the Rings movie, you ask?

I repeat: I watched The Lord of the Rings. The whole thing. In one go.

The event, called Trilogy Tuesday, was put on for fans of the Peter Jackson-directed series. The first two chapters were shown in sequence, followed by the late-night debut of the newest installment, The Return of the King. The triple bill lasted 12 butt-numbing hours.

My mission: to document the experience of sitting in a theatre for that long. For those who couldn't get the day off from work or school to attend Trilogy Tuesday, here's a detailed account of my perilous voyage.

12:21 p.m. I arrive at the Paramount theatre. I immediately start looking for J.R.R. Tolkien fans who have dressed up as their favourite characters. "Nobody bothered to get into costume," I think to myself as I scan the concession area.

This thought has barely had time to form in my mind before a man dressed as Elrond, the Elven king, walks past me. As I will later learn, he is Anthony Hartsell, a theatre employee caught up in the spirit of the occasion.

Standing at the guest-services desk, I am met by Andrew Sherbin, a Famous Players executive. He tells me that he heard some people from Detroit started lining up for tickets at 6 a.m.

I grab my ticket and enter the theatre. Since I'm with the media, and not a regular paying customer, Sherbin asks me to sit in the lower tier of seats. I pick the furthest row back, the third, and choose a seat smack in the middle.

A few moments later, my brain kicks in. Remembering the measly capacity of my bladder, I re-think my seating arrangement. I choose a spot on the aisle, not wanting to spend the next 12 hours whispering "Excuse me" and stepping on the toes of strangers.

Trilogy Tuesday is all about strategy.

Hartsell, who served as the master of ceremonies for the event, addresses the roughly 500 people in the crowd. "It wasn't easy getting all three Naked Gun films," he tells them.

He then lays out the ground rules for the day, which include no switching seats between movies. This is to avoid "bad fellowship," he explains.

Before the first movie starts, I get Hartsell alone for a minute. He chose an Elrond costume because his co-workers think he looks like Hugo Weaving, the actor who portrays the character. He says his robes are held together by "safety pins and willpower."

Hartsell owns the DVDs of The Fellowship of the Rings, and The Two Towers. He also owns the extended DVD versions of both. He has watched Fellowship seven times and Towers five times. He has also read the books that inspired them 20 times.

Jennifer Yorke and Bonnie Benson (Benson is Galadriel)

At 1:22 p.m., as the lights go down, a cheer rises from the crowd. Five minutes later, the first movie starts.

2:06 p.m.: I take my inaugural bathroom break. By this time I have twinges in my both my spine and my neck. Because I'm seated on the extreme edge of the aisle, I have to keep my head twisted to the left, instead of facing straight ahead. I also have to keep it cocked at an odd angle because I'm seated so close to the massive screen.

As I find my way back to my seat, it dawns on me: I am never going to make it. I'm used to normal movies, the kind that are about 90 minutes long. It's going to be a competition between my body and my brain to see which turns to mush first.

I have the bladder and tear ducts of an eight-year old girl.

This might be the time to mention that about three years ago, I had a blood-clot episode. So the dangers of sitting for too long in one position are not abstract to me. Throughout the afternoon and evening I will shift constantly, crossing my right leg over my left, then doing the reverse. I lean forward. I lean back. I try to transfer the weight from the left half of my posterior to the right, then back. I take regular walks to the washroom, every 30 or 45 minutes.

4:48 p.m.: The lights come up. After many oaths are sworn and many leaves are taken, Fellowshipis over. This gives me a chance to talk with some of the other people in the theatre.

Bonnie Benson is a Grade 12 student whose Galadriel outfit is made of white curtain material. She has taken the day off school, but her teachers don't know why she is playing hooky. "I'll tell them later," she says.

She's read the books, so what excitement could the movies hold for her? "I'm here because I want to see what Peter Jackson interpreted the movie as," she explains.

5:43 p.m.: The second movie starts. I'm worried that this marathon is going to get the better of me. Just getting through the first picture was a trial. Oh, did I mention that they are showing the extended versions of the first two films? They're three and a half hours long apiece.

A few minutes later, I crack one of two cans of contraband Coca-Cola that I have smuggled into the theatre. I also brought a banana because, as the old saying goes, man cannot live by Taco Bell and Wetzel's Pretzels alone.

After my snack, I slip my feet out of my shoes and give them a massage. My neck is still sore, but the real weak link is turning out to be my left butt cheek. No buns of steel, these. More like buns of mashed potatoes.

7:49 p.m.: Time for popcorn. Although I have been craving it all day, I have put off eating any popcorn until now. Sweet popcorn … so tasty … so precious.

It's becoming hard to keep track of the story, to remember who is king of this and who is steward of that. Nothing is becoming clearer; the parts of the books that always puzzled me still puzzle me.

David Pelltier, dressed as Gandalf

Besides taking regular walks, I'm making an effort to keep myself hydrated as well. I've worked my way through two bottles of water so far.

Half an hour later, I take a strategic bathroom break before the battle of Helm's Deep. It's one sequence I don't want to miss.

9:18 p.m.: The second movie finally ends. Lots of arrows have flown and a dwarf has been tossed.

Among the people in this theatre are a smattering of celebrities, including Justin Trudeau. He tells me he's been a fan of the books all his life. He says he did not come expecting to be surprised. He, too, wanted to see how the source material would be shaped for the big screen. "It's not about discovering an ending," Trudeau says. "It's about a tale well-told."

10:03 p.m.: The third movie does not begin. This is the moment when Ashton Kutcher loses a lot of goodwill among the public. For some reason, a trailer is shown for Kutcher's newest movie, The Butterfly Effect. It is roundly and loudly booed. Having waited eight and a half hours, these people are in not in the mood.

A few minutes later, The Return of the King, the main event, starts. I do a second foot massage to celebrate.

10:55 p.m.: I see a very moving scene. It's the one in which signal fires are lit on one mountain outpost after another. Sounds silly, doesn't it? And yet I found it to be powerful. Or maybe my mind has spontaneously shut down.

Although I got my second wind in the intermission before Return of the King started, I am having a hard time keeping the various plots and subplots straight.

Half an hour later, my second wind peters out. I am once again plunged into despair, wondering how I will possibly see the end of this day.

11:47 p.m.: For the umpteenth time, all hope seems to be lost. But then, the good guys prevail.

1:03 a.m.: Disappointment sets in. This is the moment when I realize I'm not going to see my favourite part of the trilogy. For me, the last 150 pages or so of the book are the best part. This is when Frodo returns to the Shire to find it a wasteland ruled by Saruman. If I remember my Tolkien lore correctly, it was modeled on the stories of British soldiers returning to their homeland after the Second World War. Inexplicably, Jackson has left out this episode.

1:18 a.m.: It's over! After much reforging of swords and reclaiming of thrones, the films are done. Somehow, I found the endurance to see Trilogy Tuesday through to the end.

It's been a historic day. It's rare that moviegoers get a chance to see a whole trilogy on the big screen like that. This is a once-in-a-lifetime event Unless, of course, Jackson can be convinced to make an adaptation The Hobbit. Can you imagine that – four movies shown all together?

Maybe by then my butt cheeks will have recovered.