INDEPTH: FRIENDLY FIRE
Military Wife Diary
CBC News Online | Updated October 22, 2003
The following reaction to the news of Canadian casualties in Afghanistan was written for CBC News Online by Jodi Chappel, the wife of a member of the Canadian Forces based in Winnipeg.
April 18, 2002
My name is Jodi. I'm a 32-year-old mother of two - Roman, 12 and Phoenix, 7 - and my husband is a navigator on the C-130 Hercules at 435 squadron in Winnipeg. He is currently on standby to be one of the next crews to rotate into Afghanistan.
In light of what has happened in the last few days, the idea of this scares me to death. The events of the last few days, losing four members of a very close knit community has shaken us to the core.
Last night, I turned on the television before going to bed to check the weather, and I saw breaking news, four Canadians killed, eight others wounded by friendly fire in Afghanistan. As I watched with utter disbelief I could feel a lump forming in my throat and tears well up in my eyes and a great sense of panic
come over me.
As I'm sure every other military family in Canada did as they heard the news, I started going through the list in my mind of all our friends and neighbours who were over there. Thinking oh my god what if it was... then the phone started to ring, it was my girlfriend and neighbour asking me if I had heard the news. She asked if I had heard any names, or which company they were from with panic in her voice. I told her I didn't know and that she should call the base maybe they knew.
Trying my hardest to reassure her it wasn't her husband. If it was she would have heard by now and that I'm sure he was fine and that he would be calling her to let her know he was alright.
I sat on the couch choking back the tears thinking of the poor wives and families who would be getting woken up by a knock on the door. The knock on the door, by men in dress uniforms and the military padre
is the thing that we as families fear most, and my heart goes out to the families that had to experience that last night.
We as military families are taught this might someday happen but I don't think we are ever quite prepared. We learn to function alone for very long periods of time, adjusting to our loved ones being away but always expecting and preparing for their return.
It takes a strong person to be the loved one of a military member, but with that also come an overwhelming sense of pride, that they have chosen to live their lives serving their country. The military is a family, we depend and rely on each other, and in an hour of need we can also so find strength, comfort and a sense of understanding that no one outside the family could truly comprehend. We know the hardships of being lonely, the waiting by the phone once a week to hear their voice tell us they are alright, and that they miss us.
I have a little thing I make my husband do before he goes away for any length of time I make him sing to me on tape, tell me he loves me and the children so that if anything should ever happen to him I will always have that. I think if anything should ever happen that's what I would miss the most. A soft 'I love you'and Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers. I think in our own way we all prepare for it, we just pray that day will never arrive.
As I walked home from work today past the gates of the base I could see the somber reminders of the last
few days events the flag at half-mast and already a sea of white ribbons in support of the families that had lost loved ones.
As a military wife my heart goes out to families that have lost loved ones, and the families of the ones who are hurt. As a Canadian, a human being, and a mother, I pray for an end to war, in every form.
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