Triple Elvis: How does Stojko rank against Presley and Costello?
- November 5, 2009 4:24 PM |
- By Arts Online
Elvis Costello, left and Elvis Presley, right, face musical competition in the form of skating champ Elvis Stojko. (Getty Images)
Elvis Stojko was always a dramatic figure skater but until today, many Canadians didn’t realize that underneath the form-fitting costumes beat the heart of a singer.
In the press release for his just-released single, Let Me Be the One, we’re told he has spent “several years…in the studio” in an attempt to kickstart his new career as a musician. Stojko’s debut album, 100 Lifetimes, will follow later this fall. Track titles include Fire Ice, the pugilistic-sounding Drop the Gloves and Dizzy (the latter perhaps inspired by all those figure skating spins).
We’ve just heard the new song and, well, it’s not entirely embarrassing. (Sadly, the MP3 isn’t available online yet.) Stojko and his team have produced a fairly inoffensive love song with some modern techno-dabblings — and perhaps some Auto-Tune on Elvis’s voice. We see it as a fusion of Tal Bachman’s She’s So High and U2’s With or Without You — the kind of thing you’d hear sitting in a dentist’s chair, playing on an adult contemporary radio station.
Although it’s just day one of Stojko’s life as a music pro — surely it isn’t too soon to evaluate his artistry alongside the first two Elvises (or is it Elvii?), Presley and Costello.
Elvis Presley: rhythm n’ blues, gospel, country and rockabilly
Elvis Costello: new-wave anger meets melodic pop genius
Elvis Stojko: Middle-of-the-road pop blandness. Although he often skated to the soundtrack of the Bruce Lee biopic Dragon, Stojko is clearly stuck on the sweeping grandeur of mid-‘80s U2. (The guitar licks on Let Me Be the One sound like they came from Edge’s reject pile.)
Elvis Presley: combines gospel passion and erotic fervour
Elvis Costello: combines angry snarling and smooth tunefulness
Elvis Stojko: combines limited range and Bono’s breathy, spoken-word shtick
Sample lyrics about romance
Elvis Presley: “Love me tender/ Love me sweet/ Never let me go.”
Elvis Costello: “Don’t say you love me when it’s just a rumour/ Don’t say a word if there is any doubt / Sometimes I think that love is just a tumour/ You’ve got to cut it out.”
Elvis Stojko: “Remember the first look or glance/ When I lost any chance/ Of imagining a lifetime without you (hoo, hoo).”
Elvis Presley: Heavy reliance on sideburns and pelvic movement
Elvis Costello: Horn-rimmed glasses, thin ties, knock-kneed and jerky strutting around stage (ca. 1977)
Elvis Stojko: He hasn’t toured as a musician yet, but we imagine he’ll rely heavily on his signature martial arts moves and probably eschew his skating costumes in favour of black T-shirts and black jeans.
Figure skating ability
Elvis Presley: nil
Elvis Costello: non-existent
Elvis Stojko: former world champion, particularly strong on quad jump combinations.
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