Illustration by Jillian Tamaki

Remember those "literal videos" that were all the rage a few months ago? The ones where a team of clever pranksters provides a running karaoke commentary on the outlandish events unfolding in cheese-tastic '80s rock videos?

Well, a crack lyricist and singer (dascottjr and Persephone Maewyn, respectively) have recently dared to do a literal take on the motherlode. Yes, I’m talking about the video that out-'80s all other '80s videos, that beacon of shining frosted-tips pouffy hairdos and fog-machine light: Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart. And all I can say is hallelujah!

Bonnie Tyler’s original 1983 clip which has been boggling my mind since 1983, is unsurpassed in its incoherence. (The plot involves private school boys with glowing eyeballs and lots of slo-motion doves.) But thanks to dascottjr’s revamp, I now have a whole new understanding of the random twirling men and scary children populating the video: they’re all part of some crazed choirboy zombie cult! (The cult theory also goes a long way to explaining Tyler’s wooden, glassy-eyed performance throughout.)

I’ll leave the rest a secret so you can discover this over-the-top gem for yourselves. Enjoy!