Bea Arthur: My mother, my grandmother, Maude, Salome, Jackie and Dwight F. Schneider.

Once, when my family was eating out downtown, Bea Arthur was sitting at a table nearby. My brother in law went over and asked her if she would be good enough to come over and speak to my grandmother, who was a sprightly 90. Bea did and was very very lovely and warm. My mother couldn’t have been happier for her mother. Years later (my grandmother lived to 99 minus 1 week), she would tell people about that meeting: she’d say she met Maude and then correct it to Bea...... and no one ever believed her until my mother verified it. Last week when Bea Arthur died, I listened to a CBC talk show person, a youngish 40is man, go on and on about Maude for several minutes when he was actually talking about Bea Arthur the human being. No one noticed. No one corrected him. We also met Jackie Burroughs at the same restaurant (to my delight). My mother learned to swim at 21 McGill with a very nice woman she described as being plump, black, having a nice singing voice and being a very good friend to her – When she introduced me, the woman was Salome Bey. Now I’m in the same position with my mother as my mother was with hers. No one believes her when she tells them she met Bea Arthur in a restaurant (until last week, she had to explain that Bea Arthur was Maude) or that she took swimming lessons at 21 McGill with Salome Bey or that her cousin Pat Harrington Jr. just visited her for lunch recently when he was in town. Pat had quite a long career in television: he played Dwayne F Schneider on One Day at a Time.....until I verify it. My grandmother and my mother weren’t /aren’t believed because they have grey hair and wobbly voices and are old , even though they are in every other respect, quite accurate and reliable. Last week a marketing manager at my office called me “Helen” several times (not playfully) while I was helping him hang two paintings – Helen is about 300 lbs, 67, has a very protruding jaw, and has pure grey hair: she works harder than I do, cares more and is nicer. Apparently all women over 50 look the same to this advertising shmo. I wonder what’s waiting for me around the corner of 80. I’d better give my children a list of all the famous people I’ve met (it’ll be short) including Pierre Eliot Trudeau (yes Eliot – there are two of you, four including TS and George whom I didn’t meet, but I digress) so that they can come to my rescue when I’m too old to be believed until anything I say that is outside the experience of my listener can be verified beyond a shadow of a doubt, by only the say-so of any person who appears in an obvious way to be under 60.