American singer-songwriter Ne-Yo. (Universal Music Group Canada)

Those who lament the coarsening of Western civilization can take comfort in the knowledge that one of the most successful musical artists of recent years is offering his fans etiquette tips. In an online video clip released to coincide with his new album, Year of the Gentleman, American R&B sensation Ne-Yo presents the “Laws of a Gentleman,” complete with helpful demonstrations. They include: “Always carry a lady’s packages” (and Ne-Yo doesn’t mean anything dirty by “packages,” judging by the huge black case he politely hoists for his female companion); “A man should always have an impeccable presentation”; and “Always seat a lady before seating yourself” (again, not a euphemism).

After the fourth piece of advice, “A gentleman never tells,” Ne-Yo puts a finger to his lips, as if to suggest we know he’s done something he shouldn’t have. But the most endearing thing about this 28-year-old L.A. singer is that he’s so clearly a softy rather than a playa.

Ne-Yo (whose birth certificate reads Shaffer Chimere Smith) has released three albums since 2006. The first two, In My Own Words and Because of You, debuted at No. 1 on Billboard’s album chart; Year of the Gentleman, which was released last week, was edged out by the new Metallica disc in the U.S. and came in at No. 4 in Canada. But despite his consistent success, he’s not the triumphant or cocky sort. The quality Ne-Yo’s music most often conveys is heartfelt yearning.

Whereas peers like Usher and R. Kelly often boast about their eagerness to hit it and quit it, Ne-Yo is more apt to claim – as he did in his 2007 song Addicted – “I’m not addicted to sex, but girl, I guarantee that if you lay with me, you just might be.” Sure, he sounds a little flirty, but the tentativeness in his tone is hardly that of some standard-issue lover man.

In the year since Addicted was released, Ne-Yo has grown even less possessed of the carnality that’s so endemic in R&B. On the new album’s oddly ethereal Single, he sounds ready to vaporize altogether, offering this very song as loving comfort to some lonely girl he imagines hearing it in a club (“if you’re single, you don’t gotta be alone tonight”). On Why Does She Stay, Ne-Yo sounds like he’s caught in some kind of shame spiral (“I’m so unworthy of her”). Having beaten himself up for being “so damn selfish,” he then wonders why she doesn’t leave him for his transgressions, even though the sins he lists – working too hard, not calling home enough, neglecting the dishes – would hardly be considered offences in the eyes of R. Kelly.

Being a softy makes Ne-Yo an anomaly in hyper-sexualized U.S. popular culture. He’s an impeccable sort who name-checks Nat (King) Cole and Smokey Robinson as heroes. Even compared with other traditional-minded soul crooners – be they Starbucks-rack regulars such as John Legend and Corinne Bailey Rae or underground types like Bilal and Jamie Lidell – Ne-Yo evinces an unusual degree of delicacy. The only new hit-maker whose sound is comparably buttery is Robin Thicke, the inexplicably smooth progeny of Cancon icon Alan Thicke. (Robin’s fourth album, Something Good, is out Sept. 30.)

But the aspect that makes Ne-Yo truly remarkable as a singer and songwriter is his classicism. Whether you go searching amid the mellow amblings of Jack Johnson, the gratingly repetitive hits of Pink and the Pussycat Dolls or the two-note primitivism of so much hip-hop and punk-pop, decent tunes have rarely been scarcer among the songs that fill our days. Without surrendering his ambitions to become a top seller, Ne-Yo has developed a rep as an old-school songsmith who favours a more melodic approach than contemporary rhythm kings like Timbaland, the Neptunes and Scott Storch. With the production team Stargate – a pair of New York-based Norwegians who are responsible for a disproportionate amount of quality pop in the last few years – Ne-Yo helped craft Irreplaceable for Beyoncé and Unfaithful and Hate That I Love You for Rhianna. Increasingly in demand, he did a duet with Céline Dion, wrote songs for Britney Spears (which she didn’t release because he also gave them to the Pussycat Dolls’ Nicole Scherzinger) and has contributed to forthcoming discs by Whitney Houston, Chris Brown, Usher and even Michael Bolton. Ne-Yo may also have some songs on the next album by the artist whose falsetto he so eagerly emulates: Michael Jackson.

Ne-Yo during a performance at Madison Square Garden in New York in 2008. (Scott Gries/Getty Images)

The last prospect is the most tantalizing one, seeing as the best moments on Year of the Gentleman sound like a contemporary take on Off the Wall (1979), Jacko’s finest recorded work. It’s easy to hear the crisply arranged, irresistibly danceable disco-pop of Rock with You and Get on the Floor in Ne-Yo’s Closer and Nobody. It’s equally easy to hear the influence of She’s Out of My Life, a Jackson ballad that is often ridiculed for its maudlin qualities. (In his TV special Delirious, Eddie Murphy did a memorable MJ impression before breaking down in mock tears and uttering the immortal phrase, “Tito, get me some tissue.”)

Not only is She’s Out of My Life one of Jackson’s most affecting vocal performances, but it epitomizes the tenderness that is Ne-Yo’s defining condition. It’s there in Year of the Gentleman’s ultra-smooth So You Can Cry, when he encourages a girl to go ahead and cry over the last guy who broke her heart, even offering to “ask the sun to shine away from you today.” It’s there in Lie to Me, when Ne-Yo asks an unfaithful lover to cover up the truth of where she’s been, because “baby, I need desperately, desperately to believe you.”

Ne-Yo is not the kind of guy who would use the word “desperately” lightly. Nobody hurts like he hurts. Well, many of us can and do, but few of us churn out emotionally affecting, unabashedly melodic songs. With his smooth, sweet jams, Ne-Yo has already done such a great service to listeners over the last few years that it seems especially big of him to also make sure more fellas know how to seat their dates properly.

The Year of the Gentleman is in stores now.

Jason Anderson is a writer based in Toronto.