From left, monsters The Missing Link (voiced by Will Arnett), Ginormica (Reese Witherspoon), B.O.B. (Seth Rogen) and Insectosaurus are Earth's last line of defence in Monsters vs. Aliens. (Dreamworks/Paramount Pictures)

Monsters vs. Aliens is a tall order of 3-D minus the cheese. The animated sci-fi adventure flick is DreamWorks's first foray into this kind of film spectacle, and it's a pretty impressive debut. 3-D special effects have been around for more than 50 years, but they've never looked so slick. Computer-generated, they occur seamlessly and are leagues beyond the fuzzy, nausea-inducing disruptions of old.

While it's packed with star voices and special effects, Monsters vs. Aliens stumbles in the art of storytelling.

Monsters vs. Aliens provides almost constant visual interest — meteors hurl through space, ping pong balls bounce out from the screen and characters hover seemingly within arm's reach. The film's playful — dare I say, kinda cool? — blend of CGI with the oft-mocked 3-D effect is the film's most inspired feature. But these extravagant distractions can't conceal the fact that it's a fairly middling tale on offer.

Directed by Rob Letterman (Shark Tale) and Conrad Vernon (Shrek 2), Monsters vs. Aliens presents itself as an animated homage to the kitschy "creature features" that had their heyday in the 1950s and '60s (Creature from the Black Lagoon, The Blob, It Came from Outer Space). The script's debt to these old films is made obvious through frequent allusions, or what crustier types like me would call cutesy plot theft.

Set in California, the story centres on Susan Murphy (voiced by Reese Witherspoon), who is irradiated by a meteorite on her wedding day. Transformed into a real-life Bridezilla (or modern-day 50 Foot Woman), Susan is captured by the U.S. government and taken to a secret facility-slash-prison where "monsters" are housed. Once there, Susan, who is renamed "Ginormica," meets other ill-starred aberrations: B.O.B (Seth Rogen), Dr. Cockroach (Hugh Laurie) and Missing Link (Will Arnett). Like Susan, each character has a story that puts a comic spin on past horror flicks — Rogen's B.O.B., a bright-blue gelatinous blob, is the result of an experiment to blend a genetically altered tomato with a ranch-flavoured dessert topping.

An invading alien robot pursues Ginormica in Monsters vs. Aliens. (Dreamworks/Paramount Pictures)

Seemingly doomed to spend the rest of her days trading jokes with her fellow inmates — fate can be a cruel mistress, especially when the jokes are this sitcom-stale — sweet freedom comes in the form of an alien invasion. When the U.S. military fails to overcome the alien, it's time to call in the "top secret" monster brigade. Ginormica and her pals are sent out to battle the sole extraterrestrial, the squid-like Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson), on behalf of Earth and its inhabitants.

Monsters vs. Aliens doesn't suffer from a lack of star power. In addition to Rogen and Witherspoon, there are voice cameos by Stephen Colbert, Paul Rudd and John Krasinski. (It's wise to read the cast list before seeing the film so that you don't go slowly insane trying to figure out who is who.) All of the main actors put in strong performances, but Wilson, Rogen, Laurie and Kiefer Sutherland (as the voice of General W.R. Monger) are standouts. It's fun to hear a profanity-free Rogen enliven kiddie fare with his distinctive Fozzie Bear-on-lithium baritone.

While it's packed with star voices and special effects, Monsters vs. Aliens stumbles in the art of storytelling. The film is rife with references to familiar alien/monster tales — E.T., Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Spaceballs, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, Alien Invasion, etc. — but the screenwriters seem a little too interested in making clever allusions to past flicks.

To my mind, that enthusiasm would have been better spent on crafting the drama at hand. I'm no kid, but neither am I the kind of adult who gets their kicks counting film references in a movie targeted at juveniles. I'd rather not be reminded of more entertaining and emotionally rewarding fare while watching what's really just a special-effects extravaganza with a sitcom-y approach to storytelling. (Note to self: rent E.T.)

More disappointing is the film's reluctance to absorb the conventions of the genre it's attempting to honour. These creatures aren't outcasts doomed to live and die alone. Nope, these "monsters" apparently exist in a cruelty-free era. They aren't different; they're special. Even a child, all too accustomed to the lawless brutality of the playground, must feel this concluding moral rings hollow. Whatever, Ginormica.

Monsters vs. Aliens' sleek, contemporary take on 3-D indicates that the old film trick is maturing well. Too bad the only thing the story brings to the classic creature feature is the threat of a sequel.

Monsters vs. Aliens opens March 27.

Flannery Dean is writer based in Toronto.