An image of the much-loved board game Monopoly, soon to become a movie by director Ridley Scott.An image of the much-loved board game Monopoly, soon to become a movie by director Ridley Scott. (Hasbro)

Given the creative bankruptcy of the film-studio system, it had to happen. After plundering lame TV shows, video games, children’s toys and comic books for plot lines, Hollywood is turning to a largely untapped source: board games.

According to a Nov. 12 article in the Hollywood Reporter, Universal Studios and game-maker Hasbro are joining forces to bring Monopoly to the big screen. The story says they’ve hired big-name director Ridley Scott to give the movie “a futuristic sheen along the lines of his iconic Blade Runner.” The Reporter article notes that “board games and branded properties have become more attractive as studios look to mitigate risk by finding built-in audiences.”

I had no idea there was a “built-in audience” clamouring to see a rather quiet, straightforward game about real estate transformed into a multimillion-dollar spectacle. The last time someone tried this was in 1985, when the film Clue — based on the murder-mystery board game — stiffed at the box office. Still, in a world where Transformers can gross more than $300 million US, apparently no source material is too insipid or minute to ignore. (Will this lead to an Oscar category for “Best Screenplay Adapted from a Game, Toy or Cereal Box”?)

What will Monopoly: The Movie look like? Who knows. But here are a few plot scenarios that could put bums into theatre seats.

Scenario 1

Genre: John Grisham-style corporate thriller

Potential cast: John Cusack, Gene Hackman, Dustin Hoffman, Rachel Weisz, Mickey Rooney

Tagline: “You’re about to be foreclosed.”

Plot synopsis: A down-on-his-luck southern lawyer (Cusack) risks his career to defend an eccentric octogenarian (Rooney) who’s been accused of environmental malfeasance by a pair of slick real estate moguls (Hackman and Hoffman) who really just want to acquire his sweet property on Pacific Avenue.

Climactic scene: In his closing argument, Cusack’s character delivers a grandstanding, ripped-from-the-headlines plea for environmental and fiscal responsibility in light of global warming and the subprime mortgage crisis.

Scenario 2

Genre: Ultra-violent action flick

Potential cast: Brad Pitt, Michael Douglas, Jason Statham, Jessica Alba, James Caan

Tagline: “You’re going directly to jail, you sick bastard.”

Plot synopsis: Think Wall Street meets Die Hard. A morally conflicted, insomnia-suffering police officer (Pitt) battles an unscrupulous corporate titan (Douglas) who’s trying to monopolize not only the real estate market, but the drug trade, illegal gambling and the water supply in a large American city.

Climactic scene: A shootout (and subsequent bare-knuckle brawl) between Pitt and Douglas on the top floor of a futuristic office tower called Park Place.

Scenario 3

Genre: Romantic comedy

Potential cast: Cameron Diaz, Hugh Grant, Olympia Dukakis

Tagline: “It’s more than just a game.”

Plot synopsis: An up-and-coming Manhattan real estate agent (Diaz) develops a crush on a mysterious and wealthy man (Grant).

Climactic scene: Grant reveals that she’ll never have to sell real estate again — because he owns virtually every property in Manhattan. He then proposes to her by saying, “May I also have a monopoly on your love?”

Scenario 4

Genre: “Screenplay by Charlie Kaufman”

Potential cast: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Parker Posey, Mos Def

Tagline: “The game is in your mind.”

Plot synopsis: An articulate underachiever (Hoffman) decides to inhabit the world of Monopoly. He builds a gigantic version of the game inside a warehouse. Other than the occasional stroll along (a fake) Boardwalk, nothing much happens.

Climactic scene: While standing on Pennsylvania Avenue, Hoffman has a flashback, in which he sees his 11-year-old self playing Monopoly with a former babysitter and famed economist John Kenneth Galbraith.

Greig Dymond writes about the arts for CBCNews.ca.