Jowita Bydlowska, author of "Drunk Mom: A Memoir" (Random House)
In my case I felt very isolated as a new mom. I was first in my circle to have a baby. On top of all the pressures, trying to lie to myself that I didn't have a problem with alcohol was also isolating.
—Jowita Bydlowska, author
Sleep deprivation, stress, and the constant call of a newborn make motherhood a very tough and demanding job. It's even harder if you're an alcoholic.
Jowita Bydlowska has chronicled her experience for the first year of her son's life in the book Drunk Mom: A Memoir.
Bydlowska had been sober for three years. She told CBC that it was at a celebration for her son's birth where she was handed a glass of champagne and soon after, relapsed into drinking again.
"That drink gave me permission to drink and to tell myself that I was just like everybody else, for quite a long time."
Bydlowska cared for her son full time and it was after he went to sleep that she would finally have time to herself, which in her case meant unwinding with a drink, but unwinding sometimes to the point of blacking out.
She says her family picked up the slack. Meanwhile she juggled between taking care of her son and finding opportunities to drink. "In my case I felt very isolated as a new mom. I was first in my circle to have a baby. On top of all the pressures, trying to lie to myself that I didn't have a problem with alcohol was also isolating. I was in denial for 11 months."